April 1979
Creem CONTENTS
WHERE’S THAT CONFOUNDED BRIDGE? I like the Rolling Stones. They came here, but I did not see them. I heard of them for the first time this summer. I like all there records, espically “Stairway to Heaven.” Thank you, Willard Dribbleman Detroit, MI P.S. Please print a pitcher of Brian Keith, Stone guitar player.
CHRISTGAU CONSUMER GUIDE
Robert Christgau
“JACK TEMPCHIN” (Arista):: In which the successful L.A. songwriter, and former (putative) Funky King becomes a Schmeagle for our time—in the course of four terrific songs he loses his keys, misplaces his car, doesn’t get laid, and spends 15 days under the hood.
ROCK 'N' ROLL NEWS
Black girls jes’ wanna... Yes, Mick de lip Jagger has finally admitted that eight-year-old Karis Hunt Rutledge is indeed the result of a long-ago liason between he and "aspiring singer" Marsha Hunt ... And while we’re on the subject, it’s either a breakthrough for the plastic surgeons of the world or Amanda Lear really was telling us the truth in February’s revealing chit-chat: you see, dear Manny is with child...
THE BEAT GOES ON
Toby Goldstein
NEW YORK—“I wish I hadn’t come up with this name,” sighed mastermind Andy Partridge. “Thinking about it now, it’s perfect. But it’s a pun and puns only last a few minutes at best and this one’s been going on for ages and ages.” XTC appear quite content to use uncertain humor as the surrounding structure for their neat little songs.
Creem Profiles
CHEAP TRICK
(Pronounced “Boy Howdy!”)
CAPTAIN BEEFHEART KNOWS HE’S A MAN
Billy Altman
Don Van Vliet has just spent the last fifteen minutes wandering around the conference room at Warner Brothers’ New York headquarters, investigating the possibilities of undoing the corporate environment.
Letter From Britain
Stiffing The Colonies
Penny Valentine
Stiffs ’78 went to America, but did America understand it?
SEX & DRUGS & BROKEN BONES: J GEILS
I. C. Lotz
By the end of 1978 I wasn’t even on the Publisher’s Clearing house mailing list. I was hiding out, making it up out of whole cloth and, if I pressed myself, maybe I could remember a couple of high musical moments. I had confined my listening pleasures to pure chance and two radios, one of which was a pre-cold war tube model that only the Born Yesterday Christian station could bluster through.
A CREEM GUIDE TO JUNK FOOD
Rick Johnson
Life is just a big restaurant of cruelty, and every day they change the menu. One never knows what to expect from the crumbs of life, and that goes double with the stuff we so love to pack our greasy faces with. Theonly sure thing is that if you like it, it's bound to be bad for you.
GENE SIMMONS: BAT LIZARD ROCKS THE BOAT!
Susan Whitall
There was an appointed place: a hotel room in the gleaming steel rod Henry the Deuce built on the Detroit River to atone for the sins of his grandfather.
DEBBIE HARRY of BLONDIE
ROCK REVOLUTION!!
A quarter of a century ago, a monster curled silently, embryonically, in the depths of American airwaves.
If You're Ever In Tulsa, Look Me Down
Billy Altman
As I collapsed on my bed in a drunken stupor in room 1433 of the Mayo hotel at 5:30 a.m. on the 5th of November in Tulsa, Oklahoma (a long ways from the comforting neurotica of my New York neighborhood, but such is the heartwarming hospitality of the great Southwest that the hotel management had provided—free of charge—a thoughtful reminder of home; upon entering my suite for the first time the previous afternoon, I opened the door to the bathroom and was welcomingly greeted by a huge waterbug swimming around merrily in the toilet.
BLUES BROS EXCLUSIVE!
Robert Duncan
Jake belched and wondered if maybe his little broth wasn't dipping into the Naptha himself.
Creemedia
The X-Ray Vision Off Roger Corman
Robot A. Hull
The constraining shoestring budget of the B-film usually forced a film director to confine himself to a minimal structure.
CREEM DREEM
Stevie Nicks
Stars Cars
JEFFERSON STARSHIP
DRIVE-IN SATURDAY
Edouard Dauphin
You’ve lost your personality. You’ve become devoid of emotion and thought. You’re a dull, lifeless nerd. No, you haven’t turned into the title character in The Linda Ronstadt Story. And you haven’t become a demographic statistic in the search for the typical CREEM reader.
Confession of a FILM FOX
With Spring just around the snowdrift, it seems to be the time for new projects and old backbiting. Here’s one for all you paper-straight, thin-haired darlings out there: bet you’re just gloating over the latest misfortune of Cher (ancheralike), who obviously put too much store in those nancy boys on TV whose insistent: “Our perm will turn them on” cooings sent her licorice locks to the floor.
Records
Elvis Costello cordially invites you to a Trench Party
Richard C. Walls
Oh, I just don’t know where to begin...
SUPER FUNK GOES GLUB-GLUB!
THE MAD PECK
ROCK - A - RAMA
PARADISE ALLEY—Original Soundtrack (MCA):: You might be tempted to pick this up for the two new Tom Waits tunes—which are okay but not Blue Valentine fine—but you also get a bonus: Sylvester Stallone sings. Sort of. Sort of like Waits, actually; give the man some gravel to gargle with and he just might become a star.
Mix It Up
Ball Kanner
Last year we talked about setting up a basement recording studio. One of the elements involved was the Teac Model 2 mixer which was a relatively inexpensive and versatile unit. Since that time, Teac has taken the Model 2 off the market and replaced it with an improved version, the Model 2A, and upped the price to $450.
Backstage
BACKSTAGE
Where the Stars Tank Up & Let Their Images Down