CHRISTGAU CONSUMER GUIDE

CHRISTGAU CONSUMER GUIDE

DEPARTMRNTS

by Robert Christgau

JOHN ANDERSON: I Just Came Home To Count The Memories" (Warner Bros.):: Hes smart, hes honest, but what makes him a country comer is the edge on his husky baritone, too indistinct and decorative to be called a vibrato or even a burr. His instinctively sentimental reading of Dont Think Twice" establishes the limits of baritone, smarts, and honesty all at once, and I spent enough time pondering whether this was worth a B plus to conclude that Id have known in a jiffy if I was as familiar with the Frizzell and Delmore classics he has the smarts and honesty to revive as I am with the Dylan. Which should tell you what kind of B plus its worth. This kind: B

BOHANNON:' Alive" (Phase II):: Indifferent to concepts like content" and originality," this casual dance-hit rip cycles (and recycles) about three basic riffs into an album that divides into irresistibly inspired A side and delightfully tossed-off B as surely as any New Orleans novelty or rockabilly romp. If youre tired of getting your rhythmic jollies from well-meaning art students, give this natural Afro-American a try—hes never sounded looser, and loose is how hes got to sound. A-

CHIC: Take It Off" (Atlantic):: Despite their best efforts, this projected dancefloor comeback is a lot less songful than Real People. Almost as artful, though. The telegraphic precision of the lyrips, the wary solicitousness of the singing, and the spare, nervous overload of the rhythms all bespeak a black-bourgeois modernism that is of a city most blacks dont even dream about—that alien power center where even the best times seem to go sour. A-

SWAMP DOGG: Im Not Selling Out/ Tm Buying In" (Takoma):: One problem with pinning your hopes on eccentrics is that theyre hard to. tell from cranks. Hes right about El Salvador and baby formula, wrong about abortion and loud dance music, boring about natural foods, the media, etc. And only when Esther Phillips pitches in does his beloved soul music get over. B-

RICHARD DIMPLES" HELDS: Dimples" (Boardwalk):: Except for Betty Wrights backtalking one-upswomanship, the prime originals here—I Like Your Lovin" and Shes Got Papers On Me"—are standard-issue love-man come-ons, but Dimples"s appropriation of the two greatest doowop oldies is self-aggrandizing sentimentality at its most audacious. And Ive Got To Learn To Say No!" leaves no doubt as to just what he gets from his earth angel in the still of the night. B+

MARIANNE FAITHFULL: Dangerous Acquaintances" (Island):: This is more conventional than Broken English, which isnt to say its less feminist. On the contrary, Faithfull is even writing her own lyrics instead of letting some man do it, and coming up with universal truths like where did it go to my youth" and looking to find my identity" in the1 process. And singing in such palpably broken English that she almost gets away with it. This time. B +

GREATEST RAP HITS VOL.2" (Sugar hill):: The first volume was a charming concatenation of oddities foreshortened for long-player; this melds six terrific full-length 12-inches, including two of the greatest singles of this or any year (Wheels of Steel" with a boisterous new coda), into one all-time classic funk album, unified by the superb Sugarhill house band (Doug Wimbish! Doug Wimbish!) and the pervasive smarts of Grandmaster Flash & Co. In its way, raps up-and-at-em sex-andmoney optimism is as misleading as the willful down-and-outism of L.A. punk—joke-boast tradition or no, kids who find they cant go at it till the break of dawn may not need a Darby Crash to inspire thoughts of ending it all. But the way these fast talkers put their stamp on a cultural heritage both folk and mass is the most masterful pop move to his Communication Central since the Ramones. A

AL GREEN: Higher Plane" (Myrrh):: Meek and mild, The Lord Will Make A Way was Greens sincere attempt to bend to gospel tradition, but on this record its tradition that bends. He exerts himself with such fervor that I dont even mind when he and Margie Joseph (a lame pop singer anyway) desecularize People Get Ready." Ive always believed angels should sing like they still have something going down below. And if there are rhythm sections like this in Heaven, (praises be to new drummer Aaron Purdie), the place may be worth a stopover after all. A

Z.Z. HILL: Down Home" (Malaco):: No relation to Top, Hill is an old pro whos never been able to decide whether hes a soulful blues man or a bluesy soul man and has never found the material to make anyone care for more than a single or two. Now that the question is commercially moot, hes somehow scored eight out of 10 pungent, basic songs on an LP cut in and for Jackson, Mississippi. A bluesy soul man, in case you were wondering. Inspirational Verse: Bop doowop/Baby Id chop/Off my right arm for your love. " A-

JOAN JETT AND THE BLACKHEARTS: I Love Rock n Roll" (Boardwalk):: Covering the Dave Clark Five and Little Drummer Boy" on the same side is a great schlock yea-saying move, but a move is all it is-^makes me want to hear the originals rather than play the side again. Maybe if I knew the real Nag" Id feel the same about that. As it is, Nag" has a spark thats lacking in all of Jetts originals except the complementary Youre Too Possessive." And I love rock n roll for its spark. B+

GEORGE JONES: Still The Same Ole Me" (Epic):: Dumb title, appropriately enough, and every word true—just like his lies about lifetime troth in the title number, one of those inane stick-to-the-medulla-oblongata tunes no one will ever do better. And side-openers, the man has side-openers—a brand-new honkytonk classic and a brank-new wages-of-honkytonk classic. Nothing else stands out except for the intrusion of young Georgette Jones (Wynette?) (surely not Richey?) on Daddy Come Home," which even George cant get away with. But it all goes down tough, background syrup too. B+

DENISE LA SALLE AND SATISFACTION: Guaranteed" (MCA):: Leading off with the irritating Im Tripping On You" (hes also a contact high"), side one is more of the utterly ordinary dance music this self-starting singer and songwriter has been wasting herself on for years. But side two puts three more of her sexual autonomy specials around the best hook on the record, which is connected to something called E.R.A. (Equal Rights Amendment)." The subtitles to let you know shes not singing about earned run averages or the Economic Recovery Administration—shes singing about the Amendment, the piece of paper itself, and she knows it spells more than sexual autonomy, ideal for dance-party fundraisers. B

STACY LATTISAW: With You" (Cotil lion):: As I hope his guru tells him, Narada Michael Walden is always better off Helping Others, and who better than this going-on-14 cross between Teena Marie and Michael Jackson, whose natural cuteness absorbs the sickly-sweet aftertaste of Waldens jumpy little tunes? But she cant do much more with dumb ballads than sing her heart out on them, always a misuse of good young flesh. B +

LET THEM EAT JELLYBEANS!" (Virus Import):: This anthology of 17 U.S. indie singles isnt all hardcore, but with Jello Biafra doing the I compiling side one will pass, from Flippers j classic-if-a-bit-slow Ha Ha Ha" to the SubI humans at-last-it-can-be-told Slave To My I Dick." Postliberal racism from the Offs and j faggot"-baiting from the Feeders is balanced by I surprising L.A. anthems from the Circle Jerks J (antiwar), Geza X (antinuke), and Christian j Lunch (anti). And even San Fran arties like I Wounds and [especially) Voice Farm come up j with engaging stuff. Plus lyrics, addresses, band I lists, and much, much more! AGIL SCOTT~HERON: Reflections" (Arista):: ËœB Movie," his most balanced political rap ever, is also his first airplay hit since Angel Dust," proof that black radio cherishes no expectation of crossing over to Ray-Gun. Hooray. But no less than four cuts—the jazz and reggae tributes as well as the Bill Withers and Marvin Gaye covers—are diminished by the mere serviceability of Scott-Herons post-Brian Jackson musical conception (execution?), because each invokes the power of music that only becomes truly powerful when its more than serviceable. Thats not to say each of them isnt of service, though. B+

DAVID LINDLEY: El Rayo-X" (Asylum):: I Jackson Browns sideperson extraordinaire 1 (plays eight instruments and actually sings in I French) is an El Lay weirdo like you thought I they didnt make any more (until you rememI bered Lindsey Buckingham), with a folk-irocking I tree surgeons sense of root systems (country1 reggae, as in country-rock) and irony (c. Ry I Cooder). Does only passably by the golden I oldies (compare ye golde Everlys, Tempts, I Isleys/Beatles), comes up with middling-to1 good originals"' (by one Bob Frizz" Fuller | except for the aptly titled Pay The Man"), and I knocks you dead with the obscure covers (cf. Ry I Cooder). , B+

STEVE MILLER: Circle Of Love" (Capi1 tol):: You whippersnappers want catchy pop j tunes, this high-tech cornballs got em with j blues changes—four count-em four nifties on | side one. You want hypnotic electrogroove, hes 1 got that with blues changes too—18 minutes of j it, complete with muddled attack on the I military-industrial establishment. Both sides offer j sound effects at no additional charge, and Steve I would like everyone to know that hes been I doing this shit since 1968. B

PABLO MOSES: Pave The Way" (Mam I go):: Its the same for Sly & Robbie as for Stax1 Volt, Gamble & Huff, or for that matter Richard I Perry—if a great studio style is going to break I out of its formula and zap the listener, the record I had better offer identification, inspiration, or 1 hooks. But me, Im no Rasta, or any other kind j of theist or cultural rationalist; are you? And the 1 gain in vocal competence strikes me as a I dangerous thing—because Moses always proI jects" now, he deprives his basic singsong of the I nursery-rhyme lucidity that made his debut so I winning. Nor could anyone claim that the rqost I memorable songs here—the side-openers, I natch:this studio t.c.b.—have half the grab of I Revolutionary Dream" on that first album. 1 Entitled I Love 1 Bring, on UA, and still available I in cutout bins. B

DOLLY PARTON: 9 to 5 And Odd I Jobs" (RCA Victor):: How you respond I to this quasi-concept album about (of all things) I work, which offers exquisitely sung standards J from Mel Tillis, Merle Travis, and (I swear it) I Woody Guthrie as well as Parton originals j almost as militant as the title hit, depends on I your tolerance for fame-game schlock. Id never 1 claim Johnny Carsons damaged her pipes or I her brains, but that doesnt mean I have to like 1 Music City banjos and Las Vegas r&b. B+

■ PENGUIN CAFE ORCHESTRA" (Edij tions E.G.):: Not since Another Green World ¶ has ambient music sounded this rich. The big j difference is that the instruments are mostly I acoustic—Simon Jeffes does count electronic I organ and ring modulator among his 14, but he I runs more toward ukelele and pennywhistle, I and the ensemble includes violin, cello, and ¶ oboe. The tempos are pokey, the playing I tender, impulsive, and a bit ragged, and the j mood nostalgic—although its my bet that I melodies this minimal were unheard of ip 1 fin-de-siecle pop. A-

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SUGARHILL GANG: 8th Wonder" (Sugarhill):: Although the Gang harmonize professionally enough to make you wonder what their gig was before they discovered talking, professional is as good as they get, and in the absence of vaguely interesting words the singing tracks are funktional dance music at best. The rap words arent any more meaningful (this group never had better material than on its first, worst, and biggest single), but their rhythmic significance makes that irrelevant. Youve heard of talking drums? Rappers are walking talking drums. B +

TANTRA: The Doable Album" (Importe/ 12):: Alternate title: The Last Eurodisco Album. Travelogue estorica, Africanisms to shame Brian Eno, guitarisms to shame Earl Slick, and a chorus of Grace Jones clones singing Dont really know what to do/I think Ill kill myself." Plus a whole side (or maybe two) of meaningless, enervating throb, the kind of stuff that makes people believe the real Grace Jones is a peak." Graded leniently for conceptual perversity. B+ HI