Once upon a time there was an affluent society whose citizens were brought up to spend money. From six to 60 they bought new toys, played with them, threw them out, and bought newer toys. To them, plastic and polyester were the pigments with which they painted a civilization...

Times may be tough, but the giant corporations whose profit margins depend on compulsive consumption of non-essentials arent giving up so easily. In a decade where many people can no longer afford the sale-priced pleasures of the material possession dream, these corporations continue to melt down our natural resources into the most nonsensical of products. It was all much easier to take when everyone felt the need for new toys to give meaning to a consumer existence and had the credit cards necessary to acquire the toys. But if we skip lunch for a month or two and fudge our taxes, maybe we can still afford a toy from time tp time.

Texas Instruments have the ultimate of such toys. Priced at $300, it is a calculator the size of a paperback book that not only translates words and sentences from one language to another, but talks in the foreign language of your choice. Type in "Good morning" and the calculator says "Bonjour" or "Buenas dias" as well as providing a readout of the word required. Like the Craig and Lexicon language calculators now for sale, each language is a separate plug-in module (the extra cost is $60 per language; Spanish, German, and French now available). But unlike any other toy on the market, this Language Translator has a built-in speaker that lets the little box in your hand talk in that language.

Electronics have also been applied to other non-essentials to make new gimmicks. Joggers and potential coronaries can now monitor themselves with a number of integrated circuit boxes. Theres a $17 wrist watch that will time you as you jog around the block, again from Texas Instruments. Or, if you keep getting those blinding chest pains, maybe youll pop $170 on the counter for an InstaPulse, which is a dildo-sized microcomputer that reads the electronic pulses in your finger tips and gives you your pulse rate. For $190 you can go bionic with Sanyos Jogging Mate. A small module attached to your body transmits your pace to a base receiver. Toshiba is also concerned that you spend your money on yOur health in the form of their digital Fitness Trainer which, for $150, will not only teO you whether youre dead or alive, but also massage your feet as it records how many miles youve run in place.

On a more metaphysical level, theres the Kosmos Astro, a hand-held computer that does astrological calculations for under $50. When you punch in the info, it lights up green to tell you its okay to get out of bed, but if the yellow fight comes on, look both ways twice before crossing the street. Bio-rhythm calculators also abound (for those of you who still believe in Santa Claus, and water beds). If you shop carefully, you can spend as much as $80 on one.

' No friends? Nonsense! Texas Instruments will be your friend. In fact, who needs friends when you can stay home and play the game by yourself, at least until you run out of batteries. Theres the Boris Diplomat which plays chess with you for $120; Fidelity Electronics Voice Chess Challenger that says "Checkmate" and speaks to you sternly if you try to cheat for $325; the same company makes a Bridge Challenger for $350 that will replace up to three human beings in a four-handed game of bridge. On a grander scale, the new home microcomputers let you play checkers with your TV set, design abstract art on your TV screen, and all the usual bbw-em-up shoot-em-down TV games so dear to the hearts of Atari and Mattel.

Calculator designers may not be at the brink of desperation, but theyre getting close. Design teams hoping to keep their jobs, wife, kids, car and sanity have made-up calculators like the Casio Melody Card ($30) which lets you compose little tunes on their calculator; the Toshiba Time Capsule ($60) which is preprogrammed for the next 1,752,000 hours; the Sharp "womans calculator" ($30) that comes with a chain so the girls can hang it around their necks. (You know what girls are like, always losing things.) As yet, no one has introduced a calculator with a whistle to blow at discos.

The most advanced' applications of digital consumer electronics remain the many video cassette recorders now on the market. These keep changing in what they do and how they do it, although the two basic standards remain the RCA/Panasonic VHS system and the Sony Beta system. As I pointed out in an earlier column, Sony is no longer to be trusted and their Beta system is not the one to buy unless you really do like throwing away expensive toys when they become obsolete ten minutes after you get them home. The VHS system, on the other hand, has made great strides forward. You can now record up to six hours on one tape, and the internal electronics are such that aD sorts of user functions make it extremely convenient to use. Be sure, however, that the particular model of the particular VHS manufacturer you buy has all the functions youve seen advertised.

The various computer toys Ive described in this column are of the third generation of computers. Back in the early 70s the first generation of pocket calculators demonstrated that space technology could be applied to consumer toys. The second generation of pocket calculators and digital watches showed how many could be sold. But this third generation is the most interesting because it is the start of creative application of digital consumer technology. Now, some people might not feel that talking .calculators and astrological electronics are exactly the kind of creativity we need atthis time. True. But just about anything is possible with these little boxes, provided somebody comes along to figure out what to do with them. O