HOME: Time Warp 3CXQ44 in Alpha Funicello.

AGE: Early 60s.

PROFESSION: Inspecting summer camp bunks for signs of potential galactic destruction.

HOBBIES: Inventing new uses for stale chitlins; ambushing the Hazel Bishop saleslady; beach blanket Snakes n Ladders; CB dissection; egg salad sandwiches; debates on the merits of the Ben Casey m.d. shirt as opposed to the wimpy Dr. Kildare.

LAST BOOK READ: The Descent Of Man byMomsMothersbaugh.

LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Cornered the drop-ball earring market with their first royalty check.

QUOTE: "Nnnnghhh, yall."

PROFILE: This band is not funny: You might think they are; they might think they are; their mothers might think they are, but they arent. Believe us. They probably dont think were funny either, but what the hell. What they are is Serious. So dont laugh at them. We dont. Welcome to the Ventures on liquid protein. Hot. Cha.

BEER: Boy Howdy!