THE BIRD: Arent You Glad That Cows Dont Fly?

THE BIRD: Arent You Glad That Cows Dont Fly?

"I would never usually do this ... but I'm in a pretty good mood ..

Jackie Kallen

The next time I hear anyone call Mark "The Bird" Fidrych a "flake" or "bush league," theyre going to have to wrestle with me. He may be different in some ways. But its refreshing. Hes far from a flake.

"Im no flake," he protested. "But it doesnt bother me. Thats them to call me that. The writers, you know. Im just me. Thats it. Look—everyones got their own opinion. But I dont think Im a flake. Do you think Im a flake?"

Nothing ruffles the Bird. I had set up an interview with him just slightly before Birdmania hit a peak. He was not scheduled to pitch when the interview was set up, but when I got down to Tiger Stadium I was told he was pitching that night after all and that the interview might have to be rescheduled.

He was 9-1 at the time, and it was felt that an interview before the game might affect his concentration.

Understandable, I thought. Its probably better talking to him when he doesnt have something so important on his mind.

But before I could think about rescheduling the interview, a tall, lanky guy with a headful of blond curls came loping down the Tiger Stadium hall, wearing a pair of faded jeans and a Muhammad Ali T-shirt. As usual, he was smiling.

I introduced myself. He gave me his official once-over (the same one he gives every lady, I presume) and agreed to do the interview. We got settled in a room off the locker room area and sat on a black leather couch.

"I would never usually do this," he explained. "But Im in a pretty good mood, so why not."

EXTRA: Looks like youre becoming the new super-hero, replacing Fonzie and the Six Million Dollar Man. You just might turn into the Joe Namath of baseball—a real sex symbol.

BIRD: Oh, come on. Hey, I wouldnt want that. It would be a hassle for me. I like my free time too much—my privacy.

EXTRA: How come you live alone in a Southgate apartment and you dont even have a phone?

BIRD: Well, like I said—I like my privacy, so Ill get an unlisted number eventually. One article said I dont have a phone because I cant afford it. Its not because of that. Its because Id get bothered too much. I go on the road and its unreal. I get to sleep at three in the. morning, say, and at nine oclock the phone starts ringing. I dont even get my eight hours of sleep and Im tired.

EXTRA: So why dont you tell the switchboard at these hotels not to put the calls through?

BIRD: I do. But they put them through anyhow. I no sooner hang up the phone then it starts ringing again. Eventually I take it off the hook and then the hotel gets mad. But what am I supposed to do?

EXTRA: Speaking of privacy, there was a story in one of the papers about a girl who is supposedly going out with you. Any truth to that?

BIRD: Hell, no. [cracked up when I saw it. I didnt even go out with that chick. I just gave her tickets to a game. All of a sudden, I guess were supposed to be going together. I couldnt believe it. She'says weve been going out for two months. The first time I met her was when I went to the bank to get a checking account. And that was it.

EXTRA: What kind of women do you like?

BIRD: I dont know. I fell in love once and that was it. I was in high school when that happened. Wh,en I joined baseball, she said I was cheating on her, so I said, "Fine, see you later." But I wasnt cheating on her. If I had been Idve let it slide. But thats life. Like my dad told me, "There are plenty of other fish in the sea." And there are.

EXTRA: How has all this attention affected your freedom of movement? You must get recognized all the time now. Is it a problem?

BIRD: Hey, I dig it. I dont mind signing autographs. I go into a supermarket and everyone drops their carts and runs over. People pull up next to me at red lights and ask for my autograph. It makes you feel real good. I can see where it could get out of hand, though. Sometimes you want to be incognito.

EXTRA: What kind of music do you listen to? Anything in particular?

BIRD: I dont know. I like the Grateful Dead, the Allman Brothers, Elton John. I just started getting into music because I could finally afford a stereo. Ive got a very limited selection, though. If I hear something that I like, Ill run out and buy it. I dont buy albums anymore, though. I buy cassettes. I come home drunk sometimes, and I used to ruin my albums. Now I just slip in a cassette.

EXTRA: What did you do for excitement before you got into baseball?

BIRD: [Laughing] I was happy to just go out and work on a car or a motorcycle or go build a tree fort in the woods when I was younger. When I was in high school, I was used to just hanging around, getting a car and going drinking. Thats what I was used to. Then I signed in 74 and now baseball.is Number One. Its completely changed my life.

EXTRA: Do you think that youll change, personally, as a result of your success?

BIRD: I dont want to change. Look, this is my first year. Lets say you have many more years after that. Your first year, you have a good year. Then what if the next year isnt so hot? I just want to go out there and do a job. That fact that the people like what Im doing is great. But its not going to change me as a person.

EXTRA: You must get a ton of mail.

BIRD: Oh, yeah, and I love it. Im dying to see how many letters Im going to get. Ive got lots at home that I havent even read yet. I take them on the road with me. I read them all. I dont answer any of them, but I see that they get a picture if thats what they want.

EXTRA: What if something happens and it all ends? What if your arm goes? Have you thought about that?

BIRD: Of course. Its a bubble now. It could burst at any time.

EXTRA: Are you prepared for that?

BIRD: No. Not really . I guess Id just go back and work at a gas station like I did before or find another job. What else can I do? Sometimes when Im ready to fall asleep at night, I lie there and think, wow, what happens if my arm does die? I mean, Ive seen guys throw their arm right out while they were pitching and then theyre history. You wonder about that. I mean, Ive got nothing to lay back on except what Ive saved. When that happens—if it does—I just hope I can handle it.

EXTRA: I have a feeling youd do just fine.

BIRD: Some guy told me: Ten-cent mind with a million-dollar arm. It was 'neat, just a joke. Really, I dont have too much intelligence. I mean, I have it, but I cant use big words because I dont know what big words are. But I dont need any of that stuff to live. I can live on what I know. An executive may know more than I do in certain areas, but maybe he cant go out and tune up his own car. So it all evens out.

The day after the All-StaF Game, Fidrychs plane lands at Metro and he zips home to slide into a pair of cut-offs and a white T-shirt. He drives from Southgate to West Bloomfield so that we can go over to the Troy Hilton and drive out to the Beach Boys concert at Pine Knob with Mike Love, lead singer of the group (and an avid sports fan.)

Sunday night we had gone to the Elton John concert where the Bird and the rock star had a 20-minute meeting in the dressing room. Tuesday night before the All-Star Game, Fidrych had been introduced to the President. Now the Beach Boys. Quite a list of celebrities for the star-struck kid from Northboro, Mass., who cant believe that the stars are as excited to meet him as he is to meet them.

When we arrive at the Hilton, were escorted by hotel security men into a secluded corner of the restaurant. If the liners in the room are aware of the Sird, most are kept at a distance by the resence of the two security men.

Mike Love walks over, introduces imself and everyone sits around talkg for a half hour or so. The Bird is ippy,' talkative and, as always/ex-

tremely polite. Everyone on the hotels staff, it seemed, came over to meet Fidrych and get an autograph (or two or three or . . .). It was a steady stream of: "Hey, youre doing great. Make this one to Elvira. Thank you. How about one for Carole with an E at the end. good. Good. Now, I hate to bother you, but just one more for Johnny and Ill leave you alone."

"Thank you very much," Fidrych says to the people who shake his hand and stick their pieces of paper in front of him. Its as though theyre doing him the favor instead of the other way around.

It gets close to concert time and Warren Duffy, press agent for the Beach Boys, leads us into limos to head for Pine Knob. Along with us is a TV news reporter from a local station and his camera crew. Sent to interview the Beach Boys, he directs most of the interview at Fidrych, asking a series of irrelevant and annoying questions.

"Is it true you asked Jack Ford to fix you up with Chris Evert?" he asked, shoving the mike across Loves body, into Fidrychs face.

"No. Not exactly. I just asked him what it was like to take her out. If I want to take her out, Ill handle it myself. 1 dont need anybody to fix me up."

"But do you want to take her out?" the psuedo-suave newsman persisted.

"No, not really. Oh, I dont know. Maybe Ill run into her one of these days. Who knows?"

"I understand youre going to the White House," Smiling Jack continues.

"Im not going to the White House. I mean, it wasnt a formal invitation, if you know what I mean. I wouldnt mind it, though."

"If you want to go to the White House," interjected Love, apparently amused by the whole episode, "I can arrange it for you. Weve been there as guests of President Fords daughter." sports pressures vs. show biz pressures, we pulled into the Knob. The limo stopped backstage and Dennis Wilson came up and introduced himself to Fidrych. "Hey, how about getting onstage and saying something to the people? Theyd love it, man."

"No, I dont think so," Fidrych declined self-consciously. "I wouldnt feel comfortable doing that." Obviously Wilson didnt realize the impact that Fidrych has on this town. Had he stepped on that stage, the ovation might have left the Beach Boys feeling second best, *

Right before showtime, Carl Wilson came around with the same proposition. Again Fidrych explained that he would rather not. One of the light men invited him to watch the show from the spotlight platform. Without thinking twice, the pitcher dashed up there, where he stayed for the entire performance. ("It was great up there," he said later. "Those guys were really nice.")

Back at the Hilton, we sauntered down to the Haymarket for dinner. The chef, after getting his hat autographed, served up an elegant French meal. "I feel weird coming in here 4ike this," Fidrych said, looking do^wn at his Tshirt and cut-offs. "I didnt know wed end up at some fancy restaurant." No one cared.