CHRISTGAU CONSUMER GUIDC

CHRISTGAU CONSUMER GUIDC

NATALIE COLE: "Natalie" (Capitol) :: I believe good singers (which Cole is) ought to sing good songs (of these, only "Good Morning Heartache," already defined and altered by two noteworthy predecessors, and "Can We Get Together Again," which sounds suspiciously like "This Will Be," distinguish themselves). I also believe that if your producers get to write all your material, they ought to at least provide a Sound, not the feckless eclecticism here displayed. C +

DAVID CROSBY/GRAHAM NASH: MWhistling Down the Wire" (ABC) :: Last album these superwimps set the world of rock criticism on its jaded ear by achieving mediocrity. This time all the sweet-and-sour harmonies and eccentric line lengths in El Lay cant conceal a return to form. C NEIL DIAMOND: MBeautiful Noise" (Columbia) :: This is a monstrous record. /The "rock" star who broke the Broadway barrier seems to be thinking Big Musical, in thle urban sentimental mode (complete with Evil, of course) that does such small justice to the challenge of a place like this. Although fellow urban sentimentalist Robbie Robertson can achieve an awesome (almost fulsome) fullness with rock instrumentation, the production is basically pop program music, and the images include "home is a wounded heart" and "makes me feel good like a hand in a glove. " Yet somewhere in my cockles I found Diamond hooking me as I listened for the last time and I had to admit that it takes a special kind of chutzpah to create a monster. C + ARETHA FRANKLIN: "Sparkle" (Atlantic) :: At least theres a Sound here (see Natalie Cole). Aretha vamping over competent-plus Curtis Mayfield tracks is pleasantly sexy at worst, mixing rhythmic and spiritual frisson, soul product ias it should be, albeit deplorably post-verbal. Good late-night listening, I suppose—but not as good as, say, "Spirit in the Dark," which I trust you already own. B

HENRY GROSS: "Release" (Life song) :: What Elton does for R&B based English hard rock, Henryscould turn out to do for Southern-style American hard rock. Thats pot an insult, either—hyperactive commercial ebullience may cheapen the Stones, but it sure brightens up Marshall Tucker. Now if only this Brooklyn redneck would own up to being brighter than Marshall T ucker himself. B—

JEFFERSON STARSHIP: "Spitfire" (Grunt) :: I respect this group, I really do. They have ideals; they keep 60s notions of communality alive. Their apparently random yet inexorable evolution as a collective entity (almost anyone else would long since have turned into Grace & Paul and friends) resonates in their unique, ever-deepening textures. But boy, are they vague. C +

ELTON JOHN: "Here and There" (MCA):: I had a syllogism worked out on this one . Went something like a) all boogie concerts rock on out, b) Elton is best when he rocks on out, c) therefore Eltons conqert LP will rank with his best . So if this sounds like slop (concert-' slop and Elton-slop both), blame Socrates—or find the false premise. C THE MIGHTY DIAMONDS: "Right Time" (Virgin) :: On the purely aural, pre-verbal evidence—the sweet, precise harmonies and arrangements, the intent beat—youd figure they were singing songs of love, or at least sexual mastery. Ditto from their foolish stage act. But in fact there are no broken hearts in these lyrics, only broken bodies, and the exultation is the exultation of oppression defied. In other words, this follows reggae convention as Americans know it, and on the weaker cuts (about half of side two) cbnventioqal is how it sounds. On side one, though, lead singer Dpnald Sharpe sounds as if hes learned ajl this more recently than the Bob Marley of "Rastaman Vibration." And I wouldnt be surprised if Marley was the man who taught him. ' B +

THE OHIO PLAYERS: "Contradiction" (Mercury) :: Er, boogitysheboppity. No, thats not it. Was it shoobity-boobity? Boobityl Sheeit. Hey, maybe thats it—shittiby & bittiby. Nah. What about... C

GRAHAM PARKER: "Howlin 1 Wind" (Mercury) :: Like most white R&B, this isnt great music—how many Van Morrisons can there be? But all 12 songs work, and the obsessiveness of ? Parkers hard attack make his mood of doomed pleasure seem credible. Extra added attraction: His band is called the Rumour. B+

ANDY PRATT: "Resolution" (Nemporer):: The craft that went into this record could pass for genius, and side one includes four or five memorable songs and one moment of wit—that line about the "fuzzy-brained intellectual" that reviewers delight in quoting. I 1 guess I just expect more than one moment of wit per side from self-described intellectuals, even fuzzy-brained ones. Sententious pop at its best, recommended only to those whose taste for such junkarhountstoa jones. B

"JONATHAN RICHMAN AND THE MODERN LOVERS" (Beserkley):: Well then, is this Lou Reed without chemicals or Loudon Wainwright III with a cold? If the former, hed better renegotiate his right to be fey by balancing off each new LP with some rock “n roll drone ("Road Runner," say, or the Earth Quake cuts oh "Beserkley Chartbusters"). And if the latter, thered better be bne funny song as astonishing as "Pablo Picasso" (or "Rufus Is a Tit Man") every time out. , B +

JOHN SEBASTIAN: "Welcome Back" (Reprise) :: The former rock dream lucked in with an inconsequential million-selling TV theme §ong and then cohabited with the former producer of the Grass Roots. As might be predicted, the resulting LP is1 kind of 5 a cross between the Partridge Family and Somethin Smith and the Redheads. D +

NELSON SLATER: "Wild Angel" (RCA Victor) ::i On first spin this record confirmed the impression created so painstakingly by its cover. It was warped. 1 . $ E

ROD STEWART: "A Night on the Town" (Warner Bros.) :: I like this record. Stewarts most ambitious since "Never a Dull Moment" four years ago, but Im obliged to note that its ambitions are only partly fulfilled. If hes gonna start doing big message numbers, hed TURN TO PAGE 78 ' better rise above the bathetic liberalism of "Tradewinds," the most overblown song hes ever recorded eept maybe for the symphonic versiori of "Pinball A Wizard." And if hes gonna break new ground thematically, as on the "gay" "Killing qf Georgie," hed better come up with slightly less Dylanesque melodies—in the course of comparing Stewarts song with its* fraternal twin, !“Simple Twist of Fate, " I was reminded of just how precise an arrangement can be. . B +

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HOUND DOG TAYLOR: "Beware of the Dog" (Alligator):: Until his recent death, Taylor could make a neo-primitivist showboat like James Cotfori sound like a cross between Don Nix and the Harmonicats. That is, he was the rawest bluesmain still allowed near a recording studio—and here the studio came to Hound Dog, who repeated only one song from the first (and better) of his two other Alligator LPs on this live and living memorial. B+

TOOTS & THE MAYTALS: "Reggae Got Sour (Island):: In Toots the physical voice is all but equivalent to the artistic "voice,", the way that term is applied to poets sometimes, and all its S warmth, humor, and vivacity come through here. But what has made Toots .doubly impressive is the amazing songs hjs voice was attached to. For starters: "Sweet and Dandv/," "5446 Was My Number," "Monkey Man," and "African Doctor." None of these has been released on an American Maytals album, and nothing on this album, not even "Rasta Man" or "True Love Is Hard to Find," equals any of them. B+

PETER TOSH: "Legalize It" (Columbia):: Unlike most sidemen who go on to pursue their own artistic interests, ex-Wailer Tosh has managed to gather about half an album for his solo debut—the second half. "Ketchy Shuby" even has the makings of a novelty hit. But oh, how his light heart and romantic spirit are missed among his old mates. Put this together with "Rastaman Vibration" and you might even have a great record. B

LOUDON WAINWRIGHT RE "T Shirt" (Arista) :: Loudon seems to be approaching sanity as he approaches 30, and While that bodes well fbr his career it wont help us (youll pardon the expression) art much. He needs one funny song as astonishing as "Rufus Is a Tit Man" (or "Pablo Picasso") every time out. B+

"THE WILD TEHOUPITOULAS" (Island) :: Here we have eight songs about dressing up in Indian costume on Mardi Gras; many of them are alsp about fighting with other Indians, Youve probably heard the New Orleans nonsense patois before, and maybe the irresistible melodic elements, too, although I cant tell any more, because Ive played this "derivative," "limited," "repetitive" record so many times it sounds like where they all started (which it may be). For a while, I believed side two inferior, but eventually a longing for "Big Chief Got a Golden Crown" set in and now I prefer it fqr listening. Side one is the best non(or anti-) disco dance music in years—it had folks whod never heard it before shouting "Indians here they come" at a 30th birthday party, Allen Toussaint produced, the Meters played, and might produced, the Meters played, and mighty kootiefiyo. A

ADDITIONAL CONSUMER NEWS: With .its usual consideration for the record buyer, Mercury has released a second Rod Stewart anthology, "The Best of Rod Stewart." Its not—"Sing It Again Rod" is closer—but as a $7.98-listdouble-LP, its probably the best bargain for Stewart neophytes,, and includes some obscure stuff thatll amaze your sophisticated friends . . . James Isaacs, the "critic" who now claims to manage Ras Irwin Freed and the Tropicanas, reminds me that their first album is called "Freed No More," not "Freed At Last," He also claims that two Boston musicians whose names I misremember—could it have been Andy Pratt and Locp Alexander?—plan to join soon. Reggae on boogie chillun The answer to the Elton John quiz is: Elton is too big to boogie. And the answer to the Ohio Players quiz is: Shoogity-boogity. jygv