THE BEAT GOES ON

THE BEAT GOES ON

Elton

A Victim Of Bird-Mania!

PONTIAC, MICH. — Upon arrival in the Detroit area for a concert at the local monolith, sports junkie Elton John let it drop that hed like to meet the 21-year-old Detroit Tiger rookie pitching sensation Mark "The Bird" Fidrych. No sooner said than done. After an autograph session at a local pizza parlor the Bird was whisked off to the stadium, cassette recorder ip hand. ("Im gonna get it all on tape," he^ explained.)

"I dont know that much about music," the fuzzyheaded pitcher had said earlier. "I like the Grateful Dead and the Allman Brothers and of course, Elton John. But I never had enough money for a good stereo, so I didnt pay much attention to records.

"I still dont buy an album unless I really like it. If I hear something that I like at someones house or at a party, Ill write.it down and go out and get it. I dont buy albums anymore though; I>,buy cassettes. I come home drunk sometimes and I used to ruin my albums. Now I just slip in a cassette."

When The Bird finally met The Rock Star, they shook hands, exchanged compliments and chatted casually for about 20 minutes.

"I think youre great," said the Bird.

"So are you," Elton replied. "I, was just reading about you this morning in The New York Times. Youre doing a great job."

There were a few awkward moments when the Bird, not knowing what to say, gazed around the dressing room, peeking into wardrobe trunks and taking in everything. ("Hey, I was tight, man," he said later. "What do you say to Elton John?")

The Bird, who is famous for on-the-field antics like talking to the ball and rearranging the pitchers mound with his hands, proposed a trade arrangement with Elton: "Ill trade you a handdrawn Bird T-shirt for an Elton John T-shirt."

Elton confessed that he was out of tees, but reached into a trupk and whipped out a pair of white gym shorts, size large, with "Elton at Pontiac" printed on the front. He inscribed it thusly: "To The Bird, from Elton John, a baseball fan!"

The Bifd took the shorts and tucked ; them into his jeans, under his shirt. ("This is ungodly," he kept repeating under his breath. "This is really fantastic. I just cant believe it.")

He handed Elton a signed 8 x 10 glossy of himself in uniform, they shook hands again, and the Bird scooped up his cassette player and headed to his seat to watch the show. Afterwards he exclaimed: '"What a night! Ill never forget it. It was really decent."

Jackie Kallen

Daltrey and Russell Announce New Film Project

Roger Daltrey and Ken Russell, who worked together on the successful Tommy and Usztomanta, have announced their plans to begin a new film project, a remake of The Blrdman of Alcatraz. Of course, in the Ken Russell innovative spirit, the remake will bear little, If any resemblance to the original. For starters, the title will be changed to The Blrdman of CBOB'S and Daltrey will play a teenage runaway who is kept locked up by the Ramones and forced to feed their pet sparrow "Lou" while the members of -the band laugh at him. Tlfere will also be a fantasy sequence where Daltrey runs naked along the New York docks while longshoremen chase him with rubber kitchen utensils which shoot radioactive birdseed. Above, Daltrey rehearses the delicate feeding sequence.

Old Greasers: Read This And Weep!

DETROIT—Think of someone you know whos within five years of 40. Got it irf your mind? The old geezer next door with the three squalling brats, maybe? Or the greasy feljow with the roach-stompers who changes your oil down at the local Standard? Got it in your mind? All rights now look at this English fellow, Cliff Richard to those of you out in the peanut gallery, 36 years old and a veteran rock “n roller. So veteran that upon demand, Cliff can get down and curl his upper lip just like it was 1958 all over again. Proving that all parts of his body, lips included, could still give your average skinny adolescent rocker a run for his money. Which alj comes around to the relevant point that N(Ir. Cliff Richard, British rock/ pop/rock singer ca. 1958is bracing himself for an as■ sault upon this side of the Atlantic,withthe able assistance, of, his new record company' Rocket Records. Why even bother, with a comfy if unexciting life as a Eurasian crooner, doing a yearly tour of England, Western Europe, Japan and now Russia? (Not looked forward to by Clift since hell have to sing Russian -ballads in English).

Well, c,all it the challenge. After'all, America remained unmoved after Cliff toured in 62, at the time of the Cuban missile crisis. ("We emptied the halls. Everyone went home to put, up canned goods in their bomb shelters.") An earlier tour in 1960 with Freddy Cannon, Bobby Rydell, Clyde McPhatter, Frankie Avalon, etc., had been more successful, but the grind1 of traveling all over rural America in a bus was rather disheartening. "The recqrds werent really selling," he mused over dessert (cherry pie, he ate jriost of it) in a Detroit restaurant. "And it seemed so vast—the thought of having to deal with hundreds of radio stations, having to talk to hundreds of journalists!" But now, perhaps not without Rockets relaunching of Neil Sedaka (and so paunchy, too!) in mind, Cliffs tempted. Think of the untapped masses of teenies and moms and insurance salesmen whq make up the American MOR audience . . But wait, Cliff

has his own ideas about what audience hes going to appeal to. "I did a beautiful ballad which was released before. “Devil Woman [current U.S. single] in England, then “Devil Woman came ouT then on this next record Im singing falsetto. My dream is that the guy ip the record store wont l$now /where to put the next one—which rack!" When we speculate upon whom to compare him with for the benefit of his new American fans, (Barry Mani-\ low? Elton?) he quashes all such speculation in a hurry . "Oh no. Im not going to tell you. Im going to confuse you."

Back in the olden days with the Shadows (nee Drifters, but that didnt last long), when he was curling his lip, Cliff went through all the hassles of the 50s rock star. He used to play guitar, but a television producer told him that the combination of guitar, sideburns and the questionable movements of his boy/ 1 ish hips were too much for the late 50s British audience. So the guitar , and the sidies went. But thats all right. The Shadows were strong enough to carry on with the agile guitar work of Hank Marvin, and managed to inspire a generation of young guitarists (Peter

ANAHEIM, CA - Teenagers cant spin Yo-Yos in Memphis on a Sunday, nor can they tease skunks in Minneapolis or lead a goose down the street in Ohio.

These are just some of the bizarro laws designed to screw kids that are still 6n the books^ which a Kiwanis convention here discovered. If youre underage and you want to hunt moths under a Frampton: "They were my idols "). Says Cliff: "Yeah, ali of these bands \say that now. Too bad the Shadows didnt know that ten years ago or they might have never disbanded! They were just thoroughly discouraged, you know. Lack of recognition." tion." ,

As for the current scene, what does he like? "I like a song that Lynyrd Skynyrd did, but I-forgot the name of it, so I bought all three albums. I hope its on one of them. I dont like their lyrics, though."

Oh?

"Well,, I was looking at the lyrics on the back of one of the albums and it was the same old [English hillbilly voice] “My pappy said son, treat a woman like you treat a horse, cause you gotta ride em both. Aagh, thats gafbage."

Cliff also: Did not drink caffeine (Sanka, thank you), attributed his youthful glow to genes, and put down Disco.

"I mean, it-s OK to dance to, but we heed songs again.

I Songs likeC“Lawdy MissClawdy^and “Mystery Train. Somebodys got to write thepn. Ill do it!"

Susan Whitall

Kids Screwed Again!

Los Angeles streetlight, forget it, pynk. Up for a squirt gun fight in Massachusetts? Not on a Sunday, bud. And in Lexington, Ky., ypu cant carry an ice cream cone in your pocket. Not even in winter.

Worse yet, in Oklahoma, you cant let your girlfriend take a bite out of your hamburger. So buy her a hotdog.

Rick Johnson

Bedrooms Of The Stars No. 1

You might expect chicken feathers and packages of boa constrictor food .. . perhaps a refrigerator filled with Budweiser and a giant TV PROJECTOR system, or maybe just a cash register. Somehow this bedroom seems too sweet and clean in comparison with Its occupants. Rock 'n' Roll persona. But the twisted golf putter, the Cash Box cover, a picture of a rib shack wedding (See CREEM July 1976), and a picture of Salvadore Dali should give you enough hints as to who exactly sleeps here.

Goose

Stepping

forMD

KALAMAZOO — A recent dance marathon held at the Kalamazoo Center to raise money for muscular dystrophy was cut short due to repeated outbreaks of violence from the audience. Seems all the hoopla started shortly after 1:00 a.m. when the MC introduced the next band to entertain the spectators and to supply a beat for the dance contestants . . . "The Aryan Starr Rangers," he screamed.

The band, an assortment of young geejss covered with WWII regalia complete with penis tip-shaped German helmets, flying glasses, SS daggers and Iron Crosses, broke into their first number, appropriately titled "Nazis"— all about burning Jews. Rather mundane fare for NYC or LA, of course, but for Kalamazoo, Michigan?

As some of the more enthusiastic fans were punching out the rhythm to the ASRs second tune, ("Light My Fire") one member of the audience chose to keep the beat by punching out his neighbors face. Several hooks and jabs to the nose resulted in a very quick KO; all in time with the musip.

Unphased (or encouraged) the band launched into its third number ... an original song about beating up people for pleasure. The majority of the audience took the ASRs message to heart as scuffle afteisscuffle erupted. Even the chairs got into the apt as they continually seemed to plant themselves into peoples skulls. As the band wound up its brief but energetic set with Lou Reeds "White Light, White Heat," police began to clear the hall, benefit for muscular dystrophy or not. M.D. National Campaign Chairman Jerry Lewis was unavailable for comment.

Air-Wreck Genheimer

5 YEARS AGO

Paul McCartney To Start New Group

Paul McCartney, recently departed from the Beatles, has decided hes already tired of the "solo" life and is going to start his own group. The group (Paul is still trying to come up with a name) will consist of his wife Linda on piano and former Moody Blues member Denny Laine on guitar. McCartney Stated that he would not take his new group on the road though, until various Beatles court hassles were finished.

Neil Young, claiming total boredom with the laid back boogie rock that he has become associated with,/ has thrown in the towel and has become the fifth member of that world-notorious makeup band Kiss. Rock Steady, Kiss's management company, confirmed the rumor and issued this photo, the first showing Young in his Kiss stage makeup. In keeping with the group's image pf individually defined makeup for each member, (i. . Gene Simmons made up to resemble a glue crazed bat) Young will appear on stage as a Jackson Pollack painting. Behind Young stands the new sixth member of Kiss, Chico Marx.

Get High On Moo Goo Gai Pan?

NEW YORK, NY—Green, or Ketamine as its known clinically, is a dangerous drug (as expounded upon in CREEM, June 76). The real stuff can anesthetize your respiratory system untikyou become^what is commonly known as dead. The bathtub stuff, depending upon the expertise (or lack thereof) and the caprices of the bathtub scientist, can do just about anything to you, including nothing: The probjem with the bathtub stuff is that you car) never know for sure what it is. Unless, of course, you have it analyzed by a lab.

In the interest of public awareness of new, mysterious and quite possibly lethal drugs—what they are and how they work— CREEM offers this verbatim excerpt from a conversation between one of New York Citys foremost green pioneers, identified in the June article as Willy (for the record, Willy has been taking green regularly for six months), and a young girl we shall call Sally, who has an overweening interest in rendering herself wacko on any substance known to man (or womah)_,

SALLY: You have green ?! Whats it like;?

WILLY: Its like chicken.

(To be continued.)

Robert Duncan