NAMES: (L to R) Matt Arrebollo, Alex Brown, Chase H. Mason, Israel Garza, Eric Wagner.

AGES: Unknown, and commonly referred to as “The Great Old Ones.”

FROM: Actually from Phoenix, but functionally from Tombstone.

OCCUPATIONS: Back-patch enthusiasts, freelance dungeon masters, scene enforcers at the Linda Ronstadt Music Hall.

HOBBIES: Schooling mids, shaming those who pose.

LAST BOOK YOU READ: How to Raise Your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children by Lewis Frumkes.

LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Some bustas were standin’ on the corner, sipping on some Alizd. That’s when I got the TEK, threw in the clip, and then commenced to spray.

QUOTE: “You want to hear about Arizona? Well, I just found out when I was in my hotel room that oral sex was illegal. And that fuckin’ bummed me out." —Nadir D’Priest of London, The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years