CHAINMAIL

CHAINMAIL

CHAINMAIL is your forum. .. if you have any opinions, observations, secret knowledge or simply a godlike insight into metal, we’d love to hear from you. So, to become a force to be reckoned with in metal circles everywhere, send your letters to:

CHAINMAIL, CREEM Close-Up, 185 FRANKLIN ST.,

NEW YORK, N.Y. 10013

THE LAST TEMPTATION OF LEMMY

ENOUGH OF STRYPER!!! It’s bad enough when you can’t print “fuck” without fearing the wrath of Tipper Gore and her band of loonies. What I found obscene was Michael Sweet’s ignorant and moronic comments on AIDS. Calling AIDS a “judgement of God” demon-strates the type of attitude that held back science for centuries (As for God’s allowing innocent children to die, look up, for example, I Samuel 15:3 and see that he couldn’t care less). Also, I’ve found some of Stryper’s props interesting. The cover of Soldiers Under Command shows them holding guns. That has always been Christianity’s method—if you can’t convert ’em, kill ’em. Let’s face it, more people have been killed in Jesus’s name than in Satan’s. And in their video of “Always There for You,” Stryper perform on a $100 bill—how appropriate, what with the church’s obsession with wealth, from early Rome down to the Bakkers, Swaggart etc. In short, Stryper has shown the “truth” of Christianity—ignorance, force and greed. As for me, I’ll take Lemmy’s line: “My name is called religion, sadistic, sacred whore.” Atheism and Rock ’n’ Roll forever!!!

Lance (0. Matic) Wilhelm

Piscataway, NJ

THE DOGS O’ WAR

I thought your article “Rock ’n’ Censorship” (METAL July ’88) was really great. I totally agree with what Dave Mustaine of Megadeth said: “Just because we’ve got long hair doesn’t mean we’ve got shit for brains.” A lot of the guys at my school have long hair but they’re not stupid. I think Tipper Gore should give up because she obviously isn’t going to get her little acid hands on our music. If she does, she better be prepared for war because she’ll have one on her hands. At lot of people are ready to kick her little fat butt and smack her silly. The PMRC had no right to put Jeff Pilson of Dokken in a crate and have' a bunch of old fat wrinkled dogs and half-drunk grown men run after such a nice guy. I know one thing, if Tipper wants war she better be prepared, because half of the country will kick her little ass off the face of the Earth.

Jeff Pilson’s and

Dave Mustaine’s Bodyguard

S. Burlington, VT

METAL CONSIDERABLY SUPERIOR TO DEATH

I would just like all the idiots at the PMRC to know when I am angry or down in the dumps, I turn to heavy metal. Sometimes, I feel like putting my fist through the wall, so I go into my room and put on some metal.

One of my best friends is always getting depressed. He goes around saying life isn’t worth it and then I’ll tell him to put on some heavy metal. In no time he feels better. So what if rock did get censored? Well, my friend might as well be dead and there would be an awful lot of walls that resemble Swiss cheese.

I am sure that there must be many people who have similar feelings toward heavy metal as I do.

Philip Field

Richmond Hill, NY (Whenever I’m down in the dumps, I buy myself a new hat. In fact, that’s where I got this one. — Ed.)

DUMB QUESTIONS:

THEY’RE GREAT!

Do you know ...

1) All heavy metal sounds alike?

2) The guys in Stryper look like the women in Heart?

3) Vince Neil has a tattoo?

4) Jim Morrison is dead?

5) Elvis isn’t?

6) The guys in Poison wear more makeup than my entire sorority combined?

7) Tiffany likes to shop?

8) Lita Ford has a tattoo?

9) Bruce Springsteen is a swine? (Julianne Phillips fans unite!!)

10) Van Halpn 812?

11) Axi Rose has a tattoo?

12) I’m bored?

13) Heart rules? (CREEM is the only magazine who gives Heart the recognition they deserve. We’ll disregard the comments in the ROCK ’86 issue, of course. We know you didn’t mean to be so hard on Nancy, so to speak).

14) Nobody really cares if Megadeth is “better” than Metallica, or vice versa. What difference could it possibly make? Obviously there’s enough room in the metal world for both of them. If you don’t like it, don’t listen to it.

No need to thank me for these enlightening facts—and feel free to repeat them to your friends.

Name withheld because I live in a town of about 100 people, none of whom are Heart fans. If I was found out, I would be burned at the stake in the center of the village.

Eureka Springs, AR

HOT TIP FOR OUR PREVIOUS PUBLISHER

WRITE EM, COWBOYS!

Somehow Burrrn! escaped your delightful July issue metal-rag roundup. Each month’s 150 enviablyartistic pages display interviews that take both technique analysis and what’s-your-favorite-breakfast journalism to the nth degree (e.g. Don Dokken on Vibratos of the Stars), concert reviews, a record-review section Dick Clark would love (rating discs from 1 to 100—with a low of 1 for D.R.I. and a high of 96 for Queensryche), record sales and display charts, a pull-out calendar (birthdays only; no CREEMstyle historical notes), spotlights on music and fashion gear as well as album covers, prize giveaways (autographed press kits, programs, cocktail napkins), and “Screamin’ for Editors.” The July issue’s subjects included Impellitteri, Flotsam and Jetsam, Ozzy Osbourne with Flo & Eddie, Rat Skates, and what appeared to be a feature on Orson Welles, Jerry Lewis and Casey Kasem all at once! With Circus at $3 a pop, Burrrn! seems a bargain at $5. Pick it up for a whole new slant on the rock scene (sure it’s in Japanese, but at the rate they’re buying America, soon we’ll all have to learn the language, so get a head start!).

Hellen Highwater

Torrance, CA

BACK ON THE CHAIN GANG

This paper was sent to you for good luck. The original is in New England. It had been around the world nine times. The luck has now been sent to you. You will receive good luck within four days of receiving this letterprovided you, in turn, send it out.

This is no joke. You will receive good luck in the mail. Send no money. Send copies to people you think need good luck. Don’t send money as fate has no price. Do not keep this letter— it must leave your hands within 96 hours.

An RAF officer received $470,000. Joe Elliot received $40,000 and lost it because he broke the chain. While in the Philippines, Gene Velch lost his wife six days after receiving this letter. However, before her death he received $7,755,000.

Please send two copies and see what happens in four days. The chain comes from Venezuela and was written by Saul Anthony De Group, a missionary from South America. Since the copy must tour the world, you must make two copies and send them to friends and associates. After a few days you will get a surprise—this is true! Even if you are not superstitious.

Do note the following: Constantine Dias received the chain in 1953. He asked his secretary to make two copies and send them out. A few days later he won a lottery of two million dollars. Carol Daddit, an office employee, received the letter and forgot it had to leave his hands within 96 hours. He lost his job. Later, after finding the letter again, he mailed two copies. A few days later he got a better job. Dalan Fairchild received the letter and, not believing, threw the letter away; nine days later he died. In 1987, the letter was received by a young woman in California; it was very faded and barely readable. She promised herself that she would retype the letter and send it on, but she put it aside to do later. She was plagued with various problems including expensive car repairs. The letter did not leave her hands in 96 hours. She finally typed the letter as promised and got a new car.

Remember, SEND NO MONEY. Do not ignore this!

St. Jude, it works!

(Why, if it isn’t Gene Simmons! Don’t think we didn’t recognize your handwriting, you sly old devil.—Ed.)

LANCASTER, OHIO DECLARED NEW CRADLE OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION

I am 14 going on 15 and I am from Lancaster, Ohio. I just wanted to let you know that I want to write a movie about the song by Motley Crue called “On with the Show.” If I ever did, I would want to play that song and other songs by Motley Crue in the movie. Would I need their permission to do all that? If so, could you (the magazine) talk to them, but if they want they could talk to me. They are my favorite band in the world. I have pictures of them all over my walls and I have all their tapes. I even have Motley Crue Uncensored. That's why I want to write a movie about the song “On with the Show.” They can even star in it if I ever get it off the ground! Heather Locklear (the most gorgeous woman in the world) can star in it too, and Vince Neil’s wife. I am very serious about this cause I want to be a writer. I was wondering when Motley Crue’s next videotape is coming out? I can’t wait to see the video for “You’re All I Need” cause I know it is going to be on their next video tape. When is Motley Crue’s next tape coming out? I think you should have a lot more about Motley Crue than you do in the June 1988 issue, and more posters of them, cause they’re the best!

Chad Howell

Lancaster, OH

STILL HASN’T HEAD ABOUT LOUISVILLE NUCLEAR DISASTER

I want all the bands reading this to pay attention. I live near Louisville, KY.

I hardly ever get to see a good metal show. So what’s the deal? I buy your shirts, your albums and whatever else I can. So why do you stay away? I’d die to see Iron Maiden, Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax, Testament, Ace Frehley, Warlock, Judas Priest. C’mon, please! I need to see a good show before I go crazy.

I love your magazines, but why read about the bands when they won’t come to town? Your fans are what keep you going, so you better keep us satisfied.

Jason Knopp Louisville, KY

DEFINITION OF “REAL” DRASTICALLY ALTERED!

For your info, Motley Crue and Bon Jovi are two of the hottest bands around, and I am sick and tired of people talking about them. What is so wrong about them, huh? Don’t call them Motley Screw and Bon Dogi. They are REAL MEN too! Got it! Motley Crue and Bon Jovi are real metal bands. When I first read the letter that said Motley Crue wasn’t a real metal band, I thought, what are they— an opera band? No way. The Crue doesn’t like it and I don’t like it either! Amanda Jo Cloverdale, IN

(Yeah, but you really ought to hear their rockin’ la Boheme cover.—Ed.)

GOOD EXCUSE FOR AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL TO DROP EVERYTHING ELSF

I am outraged, hurt, confused and frightened. What’s happening to the world these days? I went to get Def Leppard tickets and found out I had to pick a numbered bracelet out of a stupid bag and that number was your place in line! For instance, if you’re number one in line (which I was) and you get number 363 (which I did), then that is too bad! You’re not number one, you’re number 363! Ticket purchasing should be first come, first served, right? Well, it doesn’t seem that way anymore! THIS INJUSTICE MUST BE CORRECTED!!!

Julie Snook Torrance, CA

LIPS O’ SUCTION

This letter is to give some friendly advice to Poison. I’ve read that they are “linked” with Kiss. I noticed in the credits of Open Up and Say Ahh, they thanked Paul Stanley, and I’ve read that Paul Stanley performed the Kiss classic “Strutter” with them once. I think it’s gone to their heads.\

I’ve seen a lot of pictures of Poison and I’ve noticed that they usually pose with their lips puckered up. In most pictures of classic Kiss, Paul Stanley has his cheeks sucked in and his lips puckered. Now I really like Poison, but I think that they should use their own ideas. When Paul did it, it was part of the whole act. But when Poison does it, it looks silly.

Kristy Cunningham Kawkawlin, Ml