ROCK 'N' ROLL NEWS

ROCK 'N' ROLL NEWS

Did you know that China has the world’s largest armed forces? With troop strength numbering six million? In other words, don’t be surprised if you wake up one morning in the middle of a rice paddy surrounded by old women wearing straw hats. And then they’ll make you eat raw fish! Oh yeah, that’s Japan. But anyway, there’re very few bands around making preparations for this eventuality, but one of ’em, the New York-based Bangwater, seem ready to welcome their oppressors with open arms! That is, if the Chineselanguage version of “Dazed And Confused” that appears on their new Double Bummer album is any indication.

Lo, these days of minimum R&B have claimed yet another casualty—London’s legendary Marquee Club, after over two decades of, as the Limeys are wont to say, “boogie,” has been forced to shut its doors. Fans of warm beer in dirty glasses and the Who are all likely to shed tears.

Rock Express, a Los Angelesbased radio syndication thang, has announced plans to “re-create” the Monterey Pop Festival over the airwaves this Fourth of July weekend. They claim their nine-hour broadcast will amount to over half the festival’s audio output, including not just music, but actual stage announcements as well. We’re* hoping our particular favorite—you know, the one that goes “Will the owner of a camouflage Volkswagen ...” is included. In an effort to maintain total authenticity, we hear Rock Express’ll be mass-mailing macrobiotic foods to listeners and then not letting them use their bathrooms!

Speaking of which, the original Iron Butterfly is back.

In a step sure to advance the music industry, oh, weeks, New York University has become the first college to launch its own record label. MBT Records (so named for the school’s Music Business and Technology Department, not the legendary Mickey “B” Thomas), it says here, “will be run by the students, who will learn the industry from the inside out.” No word on what else the course involves, though this Service would like to suggest some essential classes, like “Glen Burtnlck: The New Michelangelo?” and “Methods of Bribing Rock Critics: Vinyl Or Food?”

Rock ’n’ Roll News, eventempered though we may be, used to get really steamed when we thought about how little respect was given to perennial hitmaker Billy Vara. But after many years of lobbying, not the least of which by us, the powers that be have decided to recognize the ol’ Beater. On February 16, 1988, Billy Vera took his rightful place along with Marv Griffin, the Captain & Tenllle and the Stave Millar Band, with his very own star on Hollywood’s Walk Of Fame. Now to work on that national holiday...

Magadath, known far and wide for their really fabulous senses of humor, have caused many a chuckle ’round these parts with their “version” of the Sex Pistols’ “Anarchy In The U.K.” On a more serious note, Dava Mustalna’s boys have also issued a directive regarding access to The Bus From Hell (their tour bus). In order to board, as we’re sure you’ll want to, you’ll have to sign an affidavit stating you are over 18. That’s years, not inches tall, so looks like Ran Jim Dla’s in the clear.

A possible explanation for Haircut lOO’s longterm absence from the public eye surfaced recently in Europe. Seems the Leaving Trains, one of L.A.’s finest bands, were trying to cross the Swiss/West German border when a guard, apparently alarmed at the lack of spandex ’n’ studs in their caravan, refused to believe the group were musicians and insisted they play right there at the border. A lucky few were treated to renditions of the Staages’ “1969” and the Sax Plstals’ “Belsen Was A Gas.” Rumors of a Swiss Heart tour are, unfortunately, unfounded.

Also on the Wilson sisters’ front: Ann, the “from the neck up" sis, recently purchased the original signed contract from the Beatles’ Shea Stadium appearance some 23 years ago. The rather exorbitant demands of the moptops were as follows: one case of Coca-Cola, one carton of cigarettes, four towels and four folding chairs.

Why do you think they call him Doc?

Doc McGhee, manager of such celebrated Rockers Against Drugs as Bon Jovl and the soon-to-be-canonized Motley Crue, pled guilty in Federal Court to illegally importing 40,000 pounds of marijuana back in 1982. If McGhee had imported the stuff the legal way instead of smuggling it on a shrimp boat under cover of night, he allegedly could’ve sold the “reefer” (as we’re told users refer to it) for over nine million dollars!

If he were planning to sell it, that is. Charges of intent to sell were dismissed, perhaps due to the fact that officials also found the world’s largest pack of rolling papers on board the boat. The 300,000 leafs of paper alone were valued at $50,000.

Had McGhee been tried on that charge (and the alsodismissed criminal tax violations), he could’ve faced 20 years in the slammer. As it is, the manager/felon could serve five years—considerably longer than his client Vlnco Noll’s last stretch—and pay a $15,000 fine.

The witness who fingered the Doctor was also a key figure in the investigation of Panamanian strongman Gen. Manuel Noriega on similar charges. An assistant U.S. district attorney “wouldn’t want to say yes or no” as to whether McGhee and Noriega were in cahoots.

After seven years and about 300 LPs, Huskar Du have called it quits... On a brighter note, the Cars have also thrown in the towel.

Five Years Ago In CREEM: Lawrence Walk was found to be running neck-and-neck with heavily favored Ouy Osbcurna in the Antichrist Stakes, after a Pennsylvania Christian youth group began burning the records of the Champagne Music Maker along with those of the Oz. Welk was blacklisted, in the words of group leader Tom Qernert, because “A dancing foot and a praying knee don’t belong on the same leg.”

Ten Years Ago In CREEM: Comedienne Judy Carna got more than she bargained for when she phoned the cops regarding a domestic dispute. After calming Came, seems the officers snooped around a bit and booked her on misdemeanor marijuana possession charges—for one-sixteenth of an ounce. Say, wonder if she knows that Mediae fellow?

La Isla No Meat-O?

Whatever makes the little cow happy, we say. Which is why Rock ’n’ Roll News is more than a little excited by word that Madonna may be opening a chain of vegetarian restaurants soon. Even more excited were the folks over at Advertising Age, a fave rave around our Utterly Fascinatin’ Desk— who sponsored a contest soliciting potential names for Mo’s establishments.

Some of the runners-up, according to Ad Age columnist and former CREEM-Mate Of The Month, Lenora Skenazy, included Papaya Con Peach, Shanghai Fried Surprise, Madonuts, Papa Don’t Poach and Sean’s Behind Bars And Grill. The winner, D. Kant Pingal, proposed Like A Virgi-Tarian (“Where they cook each meal like it’s their very first time’’).

THE WHO SELL OUT?

The British Phonographic Institute awards (yer basic Grammys re-tooled for the bangers 'n' mash set) were a little livelier than usual this year. Seems that the assembled geniuses of British music-among 'em various Pet Shop Boys, Human Leaguers and both former members of Wham!-were expected to jam on such rock chestnuts as "Love Missile F1-11" and "Everybody Wants To Rule The World" when these fourprobably gate-crashing-rockers muscled their way onto the stage.

Identifying themselves as Roger Daltrey, Pete Townshend John Entwlstlo and Kenney Jones, the four stunned the crowd with electric guitars (thought to be extinct by most in attendance~ and real drums! Stranger still, they vowed to do this sort of thing again in the future-maybe even on American shores! Be on the lookout for 'em!