LETTERS
We both, like, really wanted to write and say that that was a bitchin’ review that you, like, printed on Allan Bloom’s The Closing Of The American Mind. Both me and Spudde think that it’s like a, like, rad book, you know, and if you get, like, two of ’em from the library, man, you can use ’em like paperweights to flatten out the edges of your new Motley Crue poster before you, like, hang it on your bedroom wall.
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LETTERS
Mail Dept., CREEM Magazine, P.O. Box 931869, Los Angeles, CA 90093
» YO!
We both, like, really wanted to write and say that that was a bitchin’ review that you, like, printed on Allan Bloom’s The Closing Of The American Mind. Both me and Spudde think that it’s like a, like, rad book, you know, and if you get, like, two of ’em from the library, man, you can use ’em like paperweights to flatten out the edges of your new Motley Crue poster before you, like, hang it on your bedroom wall. Just thought you’d like to know...
Thanx!
Spudde Hucksteppe & starlight The U.S. Sub-Atomic Particle Research Team
Department of Quarks, Neutrinos & Tachyons Top-Secretsville, TN
FIRST-SENTENCE PLEA FOR EX-LAX!
I am not a regular reader of CREEM, but bought your February issue on an impulse because of the fine in-concert picture of Michael Jackson. Upon reading the article, however, I was sickened by Richard Walls’s reference to Michael as “the black fag.” Maybe I am naive to your need to sell magazines to white rock ’n’ roll enthusiasts, but you have definitely dropped to the bottom of the barrel for any mature, intelligent person. I am sure Bruce Springsteen would be outraged at seeing his name next to such a slanderous attack on Michael.
I cannot put into words how disgusted I am! Michael Jackson is a fine and decent human being, as his actions have and will continue to prove. What else could all this jealousy stem from except the fact that he is black and the most popular entertainer in the world?
Very sincerely,
Ruth Frost
Bend, OR
(A God-like knowledge of everything?— Ed.)
QIVIN’ IT ALL AWAY
I was shocked at what I found on pages 10 and 11 of my March CREEM— an ad; a real, double-page, major ad just like they have in TV Guide and other income-producing magazines. I didn’t know whether to be fearful for your independence or hopeful for your future, but congratulations to your advertising department.
Love,
Chris Anderson
Memphis, TN
P.S. I really enjoyed Richard C. Walls’s article on Springsteen & Michael Jackson and his evaluation of The Closing Of The American Mind and Cultural Literacy.
(Next month: gala Black ‘‘Flag" retrospective!—Ed.)
!
Dreadfully sorry, old chaps, for the awful practical joke that was our previous letter. No lack of brain cells here, nosiree, which is why we found Professor Bloom’s The Closing Of The American Mind to be brilliant intellectual discourse on the fertile subjects of home gardening, consumer electronics, sexual deviancy and the illustrious history of the temperance movement in Tierra del Fuego. And some would say that there is no room for intelligent discourse within the pages of CREEM! Balderdash! Your Servants,
Doctors Spudde Hucksteppe & starlight Bureau of Really Tiny Things That Go BOOM! Wouldn’t-You-Like-To-KnowWheresville, TN
WALLS, WALLACE, WALLECHINSKY
Top 10 list of the greatest moments in rock ’n’ roll history:
1. Iggy Pop’s burp at the beginning of “Raw Power.”
2. The way Bob Dylan sings “Tax deductabie charity organization” in “Ballad Of A Thin Man.”
3. Jim Morrison’s burp during the slow part of “When The Music’s Over.”
4. The way Bob Dylan sings “aaah!” after singing “Tax deductible charity organization” in "Ballad Of A Thin Man.”
5. David Lee Roth falling to his death during a mountain climbing expedition in October of 1988.
6. The way Bob Dylan sings “You’ve been through all of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s books” in "Ballad Of A Thin Man.”
7. Keith Richards’s guitar solo during “Jumpin’ Jack Flash.” (Think about it.)
8. The way Bob Dylan sings “You’re very well read, it’s well known” after singing “You’ve been through all of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s books” in “Ballad Of A Thin Man.”
9. The first 16 minutes of “Sister Ray.” 10. December of 1990, when CREEM becomes the largest-selling magazine in the world, thanks largely to a cover story on the Beat Farmers.
Jeff Nelson Wyoming, Ml
(11. Eric Burdon’s canny reference to ‘‘strobe lights” on “San Franciscan Nights. ”12. The way the Irish Rovers sing the word “silly” in “The Unicorn. ” 13. Tommy’s aside to Bobby on Boyce & Hart’s “I Wonder What She’s Doing Tonite. ” 14. “Beatniks are out to make it rich.” 15. Richard C. Walls’s unpublished book, 1001 Euphemisms For Michael Jackson.—Ed.)
CHUCK ALA MODE
Regarding Chuck Eddy’s article on “Bubblegum Bands” in your March 1988 issue: I was shocked into shame to read what our “dear Chucky” had to say about Depeche Mode. Saying that they are “twerps” and that they sound like “Tweetie-birds manufactured by FisherPrice.” Has Mr. Eddy seen or heard Depeche Mode lately? They are far from “twerps” now! Does CREEM Magazine support the views of its editors? (I hope not.) If so, you were contradicting yourselves by printing an entire centerfold of these “twerps” only seven pages from Chuck Eddy’s article. Don’t get me wrong, CREEM magazine is a glorious publication—with the exception of Chuck Eddy!
Kristen Burkhart Glendale, AZ
(Sorry, Yauch. The Brooklyn postmark gave you away.—Ed.)
KILEY A NO-SHOW!
In a recent issue of CREEM, you stated that you have a video of Little Steven with Bruce Springsteen that was taped at the Ritz Club in New York City. I’d really like a copy of the tape. Thanks.
Michele Unger Seattle, WA
(We accidentally taped over ours. Would you like us to send you a copy of The Return Of Marcus Welby, M.D.?—Ed.)
