THE COUNTRY ISSUE IS OUT NOW!

THE LAST ANNUAL CREEM CAPTION CONTEST!

OK, readers ours, the results are in—in the wastebasket mostly, �cause let�s face it: much as you enjoy our photo captions, as you rightfully should, you�re not exactly living in our famed Caption Writer�s Hut. In case you missed it, we ran a contest in our January issue asking you to write your niftiest captions to some typically CREEMish pix. We were happy to get hundreds of responses—until we had to read �em, of course—but what the hell.

June 1, 1988

The CREEM Archive presents the magazine as originally created. Digital text has been scanned from its original print format and may contain formatting quirks and inconsistencies.

THE LAST ANNUAL CREEM CAPTION CONTEST!

KEEP YOUR DAY JOBS! WE BEG YOU!

OK, readers ours, the results are in—in the wastebasket mostly, �cause let�s face it: much as you enjoy our photo captions, as you rightfully should, you�re not exactly living in our famed Caption Writer�s Hut.

In case you missed it, we ran a contest in our January issue asking you to write

your niftiest captions to some typically CREEMish pix. We were happy to get hundreds of responses—until we had to read �em, of course—but what the hell.

The good hews? Well, outside of never letting you near our sacred trust again, we�ve actually got three winners, as promised. Ironic that they all live in Michigan— a captioneer�s state, lads �n' lassies!—but winners nonetheless.

First prize goes to Chris Karkeet of Sterling Heights. As you can see, Chris grasped the honorable �Ron Jim Dio concept�� most accurately, earning guffaws from our editors and the dozens of convicted criminals we shared your work (and addresses) with. Chris, you�ve won a lifetime subscription to CREEM and a Boy Howdy T-shirt. Now go finish your homework.

Our runner-up is Todd McMullen of Allen Park. Todd�s Madonna caption meets our high standards—hell, we�ve run 60 variations of it in the last year alone—and we�re pleased as punch to award Mr. McMullen a two-year subscription and the inevitable Boy Howdy shirt. Live it up, Todd.

up, Third place? Congrats to Detroit�s own James Dantzer, whose Mick Hucknall caption is a conceptual piece of the highest order. James, you�ve won a free year�s worth of CREEM-r-iook forward to us stealing your caption real soon.

us stealing your caption soon. Now for the potentially bad news: our publisher—that is, the being who literally owns this very magazine and, indeed, our immortal editorial souls—is questioning the very concept of CREEM captions! We�re troubled! Even though we go through this sort of thing with everyone who publishes this great mag, we�d sure appreciate some he�p on this thing. So please—please!—write to Arnold Levitt, c/o Cambray Publications, Inc., 7715 Sunset, Suites 202-204, Los Angeles, CA, 90046 and tell him to keep his hands off our captions. Seriously. A couple hundred heartfelt pleas oughta do it, so let's pitch in, shall we? Of course, if you don�t like our captions, it�s best to wait until you finish eighth grade before writing. It�ll be worth it.

be worth So, once again, our warmest thanks to everyone who entered—you�re all winners, we love ya!—and don�t forget to let this Levitt fellow know that you shan�t take his random dictums laying down.