ROCK 'N' ROLL NEWS

ROCK 'N' ROLL NEWS

Plans to, er, erect a 13-foottall, bikini-clad statue of Madonna in her grandparents’ hometown of Pacentro, Italy, were scrapped when local politicians called Our Lady’s “image” into question. The artlovers of Naples’ Friends Of Show Business plan to have the statue carved anyway and—Shades of Elvis’s Coat!—to then take it on a world tour. Pacentro officials, in an effort to placate steamed peasants, agreed to place a likeness of Buttermilk, bastion of brotherhood—and quite a Friend Of Show Business in her own right—in the town piazza.

Our Honesty In Rock Desk, sadly under-utilized since Detroit’s lamented Mutants last proclaimed “We’re Not Homos,” was mighty happy to receive a missive from Richard Page, guiding light of death metal stalwarts Mr. Mister. Speaking, we believe, of his decision to abandon music for a career in professional lacrosse, Rick confessed “We felt we had run out of inspiration.”

A New York screening of the sissy flick Wall Street was marred when the audience actually booed a preview of Oscar-bound epic Rambo III. A Tri-Star Pictures publicist, in what might be termed the understatement of, oh, the afternoon at least, blasted the crowd as “yuppie swine.” Where the heck is Ted Nugent when ya need him anyway?

The Canadian government, a longtime ally of needy rock stars, has opened its

JUSTICE IS DEF!

The Litigations Desk is pleased and somewhat awed to relate that CREEM’s own Chuck Eddy has filed a $500,000 lawsuit against the Beastie Boys. The action charges the hardrappin’ trio with causing Mr. Eddy “embarrassment and humiliation”—it seems the Beasties used Chuck’s easily-identifiable image in thefr full-length video without permission. And that’s just the half of it.

As you’ll recall, Chuck described°the entire sordid scene in the May, 1987 issue of this very magazine: “At 32 minutes past two on the morning of January 16, 1987, two Beastie Boys broke into my West Hollywood hotel room and dumped a wastebasket full of very wet water on my head, my bed, the carpeting and my Converse All-Stars. I’d stupidly left the chain-lock unsecured and I suppose they bribed the night clerk into giving them the key.” Hey, everybody around here writes for posterity.

Quite possibly the masculinity-lacking trio felt threatened by the grilling of Eddy, a former Marine, and retaliated in what we can only describe as the most cowardly fashion. The use of the video camera—a phallic substitute—only serves to substantiate this Bureau’s speculation.

The Eddy v. Beasties suit (soon to be more commonly known as the New Monkey Trial) was filed in Chicago Federal Court this January, and the testimony should prove zippy, indeed. Eddy, incidentally, refused to comment on rumors sweeping Rock ’n’ Roll News that— should he win the suit—he plans on buying CREEM, giving the editors sizable raises in deference to their acumen in story-assigning and moving the magazine to Ann Arbor, Michigan.

loving arms to former Dictator Handsome Dick Manitoba. The Manitoba Assistance Fund will enable The Handsome One to once again wade knee-deep in White Castle burgers and streams of generic beer. Or else it’ll go to aid residents of a certain Canadian province in their efforts to release homegrown music. We know which we’d prefer.

This Service, in our continuing efforts to bring you all the latest on ex-Smiths guitarist Johnny Marr, has taken to sifting through the trash in front of his home and struck up quite an acquaintance with his local butcher. But all we’ve managed to uncover this month is that Marr is writing theme songs for the BBC. The first, for a series called APB,

should be buzzin’ around your satellite dish as we speak.

Ex-Playboy bunny and leghair tweezer Debbie Harry recently debuted a new band. Dubbed Tiger Bomb, the combo also features her longtime partner Chris Stein. Word has it that the pair have ended their 14-year personal relationship. The world, with the exception of certain CREEM editors, is deeply saddened.

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The RIAA, known arbiters of taste, dispensers of gold ’n’ platinum records, and home of the world’s best coffee have released their latest list of certified precious discs. Among the new honorees are some of rock’s most influential and enduring artists—Cutting Crew, Sandi Patti and Tesla among them. There’s also something on here by some

group (no doubt disgusting foreigners) called the Sex Pistols. Though we’re pleased to note it took their so-called album, Never Mind The Bollocks, 10 full years to achieve gold status, we’re nonetheless sorry to see such bands honored while folks like the Lawson Brothers and Glen Burtnick remain unrecognized. Besides which, the heathens’ll probably just sell their awards to buy haggis or something.

FIVE YEARS AGO TODAY: Though such sentiment seems to’ve slipped

ROSS MARINO, R.I.P.

It is with sadness that we report the death of Ross Marino, one of America’s most respected rock ’n’ roll photographers. Marino, who was vacationing in Mexico with his fiancee on January 6, was swimming off the Cancun coast when the strong undercurrent overtook him and he drowned.

A native of Detroit, Marino frequently contributed to CREEM and many other rock mags, as well as to Time, Playboy, Billboard and USA Today. He began his career while still in high school in Birmingham, Mich., and quickly gained local renown. His first national break, Marino recalled, came courtesy of Bob Seger. Seger liked Marino’s live photos of him so much that he insisted they accompany a forthcoming People magazine article. “I bought 10 copies and told my dad ‘See, there is some hope for me!’ ” he said.

Ross is survived by his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Marino, two brothers and his fiancee. Friends will be interested to hear that a Ross Marino Memorial Fund has been established, and contributions should be sent c/o Gary Graff, Detroit Free Press, 321 West Lafayette, Detroit, Ml 48231.

their minds these days, Aerosmith turned down the chance to follow in the Who’s footsteps in shilling for Schlitz Beer. The band was offered a considerable sum to have “Schlitz Presents Aerosmith” plastered over everything but their backsides, and they refused Steve Tyler’s explanation? “We offered them half a cent per bottle to have ‘Aerosmith Presents Schlitz’ on every one of their labels. They seemed puzzled, then they stopped calling.”

TEN YEARS AGO TODAY: While hobnobbing with some of his upstanding pals on a profitable tour of South Africa, Pat Boone took the time to pontificate on 1he state of rock music. “The entertainment industry has been pervaded by a low element,” brayed Pat.

“Some shows are so hellish, I wouldn’t consider them to be entertainment.” We’re sure he found the living conditions ’round Johannesburg to be much more entertaining'.

A REEL GOOD TIME?

It Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time Dept.: Rock On Film, the American Cinematheque’s ambitious two-week anthology of the best celluloid rock (presented in Los Angeles this January) turned out to be less than the mystical experience the folks promised, This despite unexpected appearances by filmaker D.A. Pennebaker (Monterey Pop, Don’t Look Back) and Ray Manzarek, who kicked off the evening of Doors’ clips by advising the crowd “If you haven’t yet experimented with psychedelic drugs, do so.” To which we can only add, look where they've gotten Roky Erikson.

Mostly, the stuff most people were salivating over never materialized. The rare Dylan flick. Eat The Document, was replaced by a clip of Zimmy on a mid-'60s talk show, while a 70-minute Velvet Underground film (mit Nico, no less!) so obscure that the He’p Desk didn’t even know it existed, was pulled at the last minute due to lack of co-operation by Andy Warhol’s estate. When a staff member rather dadaistically explained that “Andy Warhol won't release the film." an irate (and somewhat more cubistic) VU fan retorted “But Andy Warhol is dead."

The highlight of the series came when Cocksucker Blues. the rarely-seen X-rated Stones documentary (and a sure favorite of L.A. Ticketron salesladies) that was shown only after Mick Jagger supplied his personal print, was introduced by ultimate groupie Pamela Des Barres. Miss Pamela, intent on hyping her guide for teenage girls. I'm With The Band, was taken aback by the less-than-thunderous ovation afforded her. Amidst assorted catcalls and "sooee”s, Pammy demanded. “Hey, I f—ed Mick Jagger. How many ot you can say you f—ed Mick Jagger?" Though we. were kinda annoyed at the 90-minute tallying delay, knowing the final count does help this Desk sleep better at night.