BRITBUZZ

BRITBUZZ

Sylvie Simmons

Phil Collins is a big dummy! And he's got glass eyes and a wig and—no, it’s true! The famous London waxworks, Madame Tussauds, is making a copy of Phil as we speak to put on display in its Celebrity Section! And Brit Buzz doesn’t want to hear any jibes about the wig department not having too much work to do, thank you! The real Phil has been hobnobbing with royalty, presenting a check for over $10X3,000—the proceeds of just one show!—on behalf of Genesis to Princess Anne, president of the Save The Children Fund. And what a tour it’s been: 116 shows in 15 countries in front of over five million fans! And all he was looking forward to the whole time he was away was “getting a couple of drinks and playing with my train set in the cellar of my house.” Sets and rock ’n’ roll indeed!

But first there’s a movie to make. Phil, as Brit Buzz predicted ages ago, will star as arch-criminal Buster Edwards in a film about the notorious Great Train Robbery ... David Bowie and Mick Jagger start work on their joint movie Rocket Boys soon as well. . Cyndi Lauper went to the jungles of Ecuador (or at least we think there are jungles in Ecuador. ..) to make her movie, Vibes. . . and the B52s are talking about coming over here to do a horror flick about someone who gets into a small elevator and crushes people to death with her wig!

Mort of A-ha’s favorite movie is the James Bond film Pussyfinger. Pussyfinger???? That’s what he told the host of a TV chat show here the other night! As for the one they wrote the theme song to, The Living Daylights, he hasn’t even seen it yet! “Haven’t had the time,” shrugged Mort, who’s busy thinking about the next A-ha album, due around January.

Mags’ attempt to be a trendy London nightclub-hopper was a bit of a flop when, struck by a sudden whim, he sang a song right outside on the sidewalk that caused an immediate population explosion in London’s felines as they come from miles to howl and wail along!

Talking of whaling, Billy Idol, a Stringfellows regular, should stick to nightclubs: when he tried his luck with the Great Outdoors the other day—a dip in the ocean— he got stung by a jellyfish!

Far more at home on the ocean waves, of course, is Simon Le Bon, who’s just released a video of his fascinating nautical adventures in his yacht, Drum. It’s narrated by the boat’s skipper with music in the background by Simon, Philip Glass and Propaganda to take your mind off your seasickness. Oh, hang on a minute, Simon wants to say something before we leave him for a George Michael story. What’s that, Simon? “I used to think of women as just decoration. It used to be a case of ‘sit there, look pretty, stick your chest out and shut up.’ These days I appreciate wit, loyalty and brains.” Good for you!

Same can be said for George Michael, only he's been getting in a rotten load of trouble for the single and the accompanying “steamy” video “I Want Your Sex.” The boring old BBC, which pretty much dictates what we get to see and hear in England until MTV starts up here next month (we’re sending you our homegrown pop show Top Of The Pops in exchange!) has banned them both. But George has now put the video on sale so we can finally see what all the fuss has been about for ourselves!

Did you know Andrew Ridgeley’s nickname for George was Knobby? Shouldn’t we be told why? George just calls Andrew “filthy.” Why? “The music he’s doing now, it’s really heavy! He’ll have to clean it up though because it’s filthy. It makes mine look like ‘Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush!’ ” The music George is doing now is really— er—peculiar. Though he’s not mentioned in the credits, he’s reported to be singing with a group called Boogie Box on a remake of the Squeek Gees old hit “Jive Talking.” A closer look in the ol’ boogie box shows its leader to be one Andros Georgiou. . . In related— actually, relative Wham! news, Andrew’s bro Paul Ridgeley has joined a band called Six Sod Red with former Marc Almond backing vocalist Cindy Ecstacy as lead singer.

Is Sam Fox going out with Ad-Rock? Oops, sorry, it’s the pet monkey Sam’s dad gave her for her 21st birthday! “He’s called Norman,” says Sam, and she likes to dress him up—probably start making him up too before long, what with her and her mom launching their own range of cosmetics. “NO! They’re not going to be tested on animals,” says Sam. “I’d rather test them on myself!”

The Beastie Boys are all big Sam fans though. They think she’s “def” and want to dangle her out of a window! “I thought they meant I was deaf at first,” pouted Sam, and as for being dangled, “I’d like to see them try!”

Is Kim Wilde going out with Julian Lennon? “Of course not!” Kim denies the newspaper reports. “We've known each other since we were kids!”

Is Brian May of Queen going out with soap-opera star Anita Dobson then? Ever since the guitarist wrote a sloppy song for Anita, then produced it, played and sang on it too, rumors of a romance have been flying about. Says Anita: “He’s the perfect man: rich, talented and goodlooking. He’s also happily married with three children!”

There’s got to be one that’s right! How about this one: is Boy George a daddy? An American girl is claiming that George is the father of her young son, George Alan O’Dowd II, after a night of passion in New York. And guess what? George says it isn’t true!!! But it is true that George looks in great shape these days, thanks in part to following a fish, fruit and water Fit For Life diet.

Sting, who looks like he’s been on the same diet, did a topless arty ad for a Scandinavian canned beer. . .A Greek company used one of the Cure’s songs for a deodorant ad without permission; the band says it stinks. .. The Pet Shop Boys are talking lawsuits against a journalist who claims their hit single “It’s A Sin” is a rip-off of Cat Stevens “Wild World”; Cat himself said he noticed certain similarities but “good luck to them!”

Guitarist Sylvan Richardson has parted company with the band he helped form, Simply Red.. .Frankie Goes To Hollywood are looking for a singer to replace Holly Johnson, without much luck so far. . .Rupert Everett, mean-and-moody actor-turned-singer, has been offered lots and lots of money to pose in the buff for Playgirl. . . If Barry Manilow ever pops over to Scotland, the locals will have to call him “Lord” or “Laird” or some such aristocratic title. A group of devoted fans clubbed their cash together to buy a piece of Scottish land in Barry’s name so he’s the official “Laird Of Camster.”

Camster, not hamsterI Oh no! Diana Ross is going to go into one of her speeches about little animals again! In London to shop for babyclothes for the sproglet she’s expecting by new husband Arne Naess, the singer told the press, “He’s changed my life a lot. He cares about nature and the rain forests and the animals, and now I’m fascinated too by the little things, the little little animals, little crawling things down there that no one takes much notice of.”

Alison Moyet has taken her little crawling thing, baby son Joe, on a camping holiday in France. “I like eating cold baked beans,” confessed Alison. Meanwhile, Mort of A-ha is busy turning his new London apartment into a palace, bringing over lots of Norwegian wood and pine stuff to fill it up with. And Prince has just bought a mansion in West London. His latest protegee Jill Jones told us, “Prince loves Europe,” especially European girls!

As for Poison, heck, they like any girls. So long as they’re not boys! “We’re not homosexuals,” Bobby Dahl told Sky. “We wear our make-up in a masculine way and it enhances our looks. Girls love us. They like to wrestle and lick our make-up off.”

Which should keep them more than busy until the next Brit Buzz. See you soon!