Captain VIDIOT

Captain VIDIOT

Dear Cap, what's all this guff about stereo TV? TV hasn't even got decent one-speaker sound...so who are they kidding with stereo?

—John O'Brien, Waltham, MA

•While the Cap has to agree with John that TV sound is a complete joke— especially the people over at the networks, although some cable "rock" channels also seem a little weak in the audio dept, too—something is being done about it. Now the fact that something is being done about it doesn't mean TV sound is going to get any better, but it will be in stereo. Some folks are quipping that with stereo TV, sound will be twice as bad! They may be right.

There are already stereo VHS machines, and Sony is bringing stereo sound to Betamax with the new Beta HiFi machine. Cable channels like MTV offer stereo sound [via a special cable feed that decodes through your FM stereo tuner). Toshiba has a new color TV with a dual speaker system (which they say has "real stereo multiplex capability with optional stereo converter after 1983"). There are some video tapes for sale/rental that are in stereo sound.

As to when the pitch for Lemon Fresh Joy and Coke Is It will be in stereo, the answer is: as soon as the networks and the TV set manufacturers think you're ready to throw out your TV set and buy a new one because the new ones sound twice as good.

I want to buy one of these new all electronic typewriters, and when I went to look at them the man at the store said that I could buy all the other parts to turn it into a computer later. What do you think?

—A. Roskins, Bulvar, DE

•Some of the new electric typewriters are indeed designed to become the keyboard/printer components of an expanded home computer system. But there are drawbacks. And if you really want a home computer, you're better off getting an Atari or Commodore than an electronic typewriter. First, because many of the extras that will turn the electronic tvper into a computer are still on the drawing board, or will be available "next" year, or haven't really been tried out yet, etc., etc. Second, because these electric typers are designed to type first of all, compute second. And so many of the handy functions of the home computer are a little less handy with the electric typer. Third, the price of many of these typers is more than it will cost you to get started with an Atari 800 or Commodore 64 with a printer. And the ones that cost less, do less. So be very wary of any salesman who talks about any electronic typewriter os a "computer system." It really isn't much more than a glorified adding machine thot will take wider paper and print the letters of the alphabet.

I heard somewhere that pretty soon there won't be any cable TV at all, but that everybody will be tuned into the satellite direct. When is this going to happen?

—Jane Whitson, Dover, CT •Direct reception by the viewer from overhead satellite broadcasts is often referred to as "DS" ("direct service"). Right now it is more likely that DS will be used in other parts of the world (Europe first, India, various Third World areas) before it's used in the U.S. The advantage of DS is that large areas can be covered by one satellite, without digging holes in the ground and stringing all that cable house-to-house. The disadvantage is that it's harder to control what TV services to sell the TV customer/viewer, and it will probably cost the customer more to get what the TV services are sola. The customer/viewer will need a special aerial as well, but while it will be more elaborate than the standard TV aerial from Radio Shack, it won't be as big or expensive as the "earth station" dishes some folks have in their backyard now, to pickup satellite transmissions.

This isn't exactly high-tech, but maybe you've got a suggestion. My mom gave me money for my birthday to get a clock radio for my room. I've been to a couple of stores and can't decide which of the radios I've seen is best. Any thought on the matter? (Oh eah, I want to spend about 35-$40 tops).

—Sal Alberni, Sutter, CA •Unless you want a clock radio with a built-in telephone or TV or cassette deck, you've got plenty of money in your budget to get o good one. The thing about any of the current line of clock radios is how good they sound when they're being used as radios, since any squawking sound wilt wake you up. If you only want to have the radio wake you in the morning, and never plan to actually sit and listen to it as a radio, then buy any of the cheapo units for $ 19 or $20 at fhe discount stores—or better still, go out and buy an electric alarm clock tor $6 at a drugstore.

If, on the other hand, you're planning to listen to music on your clock radio, you'll have to pay some attention as to what you're getting. All dock radios these days share common features: digital time display (sometimes with a switch or dial, so the user can adjust the brightness of the green glowing display); controls to turn the radio off after it lulls you to sleep, and to turn on either radio or alarm to wake you up before you really want to get up.

The trick to getting a good dock radio is finding one with a large enough speaker and some sort of tone control so that you get some real depth and definition out of tne radio. Usually, the more you pay, the better a speaker system and controls you get. If you look close when you're at the store, you'll be able to see the size of the speaker through the plastic holes—if all else fails, get the biggest diameter speaker, but don't be fooled by the Japanese putting holes around the speaker holes to make the speaker look bigger. Also, buy a brond name (Sony, Panasonic, eto), It may cost $5 more, but it'll last longer.

What's the difference between "component television" and a regular TV? Keep up the good work, Capl

• Even though we're used to looking at the TV set as one box full of wires and tubes and transistors, it's actually a box containing several different segments (or components), each of which does a particular task. The subcategories, as it were, of a TV set are: tuner (bringing in and selecting the broadcast signal); disp/ay (the TV tube and associated electronics to show the picture),*and audio (amplifier and speakers to supply the sound).

Now even though we're used to buying a TV set that contains all these components in the same box, there's no reason why the components can't be separated and sold to use separately in music the same way audio components are sold.

Thus component tefevision, Sony, Panasonic, Sanyo, and other manufacturers ore establishing lines of TV components to let the consumer assemble a TV system piece by piece. Sony's Profeel line includes a 19" display screen ($650 or so), a tuner (called a "component access tuner" and less than $400 discounted), a speaker system (about $) 10), a special TV/video rack (about $140). Plus, of course, you can interconnect o video recorder, videodisc player, cable signals, and anything else you might like. You can also skip tne hundred dollar speaker system and use a good audio amp and more expensive hi-fi speakers to pump up the sound, or even a TV projecter instead of the 19" screen in a box. And by the time you're finished, you'll have a component system that doesn't include any components from Sony's Profeel line at all— but that's what component TV is all about—mix and match.

How come where I live there's no cable? I want my MTV, Radio 1990, HBO, the worksl All I get are laugh tracks from the net* works. Sitcoms are sick. I'm going to move some place that has cable If we don't nave It by the time I graduate.

—Name & Address Withheld

•Originally cable was installed in places where TV reception was messed up by things being in trie way of the TV signallike mountains or tall buildings. So places like Pennsylvania (where cable started in the I 940s) and New York City got wired for cable well before the rest of the country—and well before even the cable people realized they could make zillions by providing TV programs of their own.

Once it became obvious that cable could run dozens and even tens of dozens of TV channels into every home (and run things out, too, which worries the phone company), and that people would pay lots of money not to watch NBC/ABC/CBS/ PBS, then the cable business picked up. And as it picked up, local politicians got involved, and wanted a piece of the action, so they could have more limos ond free lunches ond municipal employees to run your life. So now many localities which should have coble, don't—because the local politicians are still fighting over who's going to get what out of it. It may take years before the payoffs and ripoffs are settled and the consumer gets his/ner cable TV, If you live in a place tike that, and you want your MTV, your best bet is to move.

I'm thinking about buying a video tape recorder and can't decide between a VHS and a Betamax. They both seem pretty much the same to me, although this Beta I, Beta II, & III Is kind of confusing, which format should I go with?

—P. Maxxon, Round Ridge, MA

•VHS. The Cap is still smoking about the Beta I he bought at the beginning, thinking the well-known manufacturer whose name begins with an S was going to stick with the consumers who heTpea get the Beta product off the ground by buying the first ones. But no, instead said company goes on to Beta II and Beta III, and who knows whot's next? So the Cap always recommends VHS, because VHS is the same format today as the day it was first introduced, and VHS is here to stay. Also, most reports from the electronic marketplace indicate that VHS is the leader in sales, to which Cap says hooray and such like about there being some justice after all.

Got a headache or just a question about timely technology? Either way, Capt. Vidlot is ready to come to your rescue. Just drop the Capt. a line at Capt. Vidlot, do VIDIOT, P.O. Box P-1064, Birmingham, Michigan, 48012, and the Capt.'ll see if there isn't an answer to your problem.