EYE HAND WHAT'S NEW FOR VIDIOTS

EYE HAND WHAT'S NEW FOR VIDIOTS

PITFALL

Activision

(Atari VCS)

You've seen commercials for this one every day on the tube, and they've pretty much summed up what Pitfall is all about. "Hapless" Harry The Hero explores the Amazon in search of lost treasure and stands to get nipped in his booty unless he's quick on his feet.

What's he looking for? A diamond ring, bars of gold and silver, and your standard lost-in-the-Amazon bag o' money, for starters. Every time Harry nabs one of these goodies, points roll up and you’re on your way to Big Fun in Buenos Aires.

Only problem, though, is The Jungle. As Harry goes for the gusto he encounters cobras, scorpions, tar pits, quicksand, fires and crocodiles—all of which kill him real good, sir, yes they do. But it's OK! Harry’s got three lives!

Harry starts his jungle jog with points (7,000 of 'em) and time (20 minutes) and it's up to you to put him through his paces. Taking his cue from another jungle king, Harry isn't beneath swinging on a few vines, and there's plenty available to carry him across the tar pits, quicksand and hungry crocodiles. Minor threats such as rolling logs are easily leaped over, and even when Harry forgets to jump, he doesn't lose his life. Just his points, and only a few at that.

There's a good bit of variety here, 255 |ungle scenes in all, and I have few complaints. Harry's three lives may not be enough for initial players; it's infuriating that, after mastering the art of crocodile headjumping a few minutes into the game, a single slip from a vine will shoot poor Harry right back where he—and you — started from. But hey, those commercials aren't wrong. It is a good buy—or, in Harry's case, inevitably, good-bye. Life is sad, but Pitfall isn't.

Kevin Christopher

B-17 BOMBER Mattel

(Intellivision with Intellivoice module)

Intellivision's new voice module is an excellent addition to an already fine system. It has to be, because the games are really difficult early on and you need all the info you can get,

B-17 kicks in with a drawling voice highly reminiscent of Andy Devine that announces "Beee 17 Boaaab-muh " I like this guy. Hope he doesn't get killed right away.

In Phase I, you press a button and on comes a strategic map of Europe displaying airfields, factories, refineries, hostile weenie stands and

other targets. Then you can whip up a preview closeup of any target to decide what you want to bomb first. The VIDIOT office? Wrong game!

Take-off con be a problem until you get the hang of the gauges. You have to ad[ust for speed, pitch, altitude and the bomb/fuel ratio.

Once you're tn the air, the game really starts to go. The voices of your crew are allimportant. They holler warnings like "Bandits, three o'clock" and "Fighters, six o'clock." These are not [ob applicants for you to interview, they're warnings of incoming enemy planes. They also inform you of flak in a country auctioneer's deadpan voice that sounds like Little Luke being strangled by Grandpappy Amos.

When you reach the destination, you press for another map that shows a separate close-up of your target. Then you slam the button ond it's "Bombs away!" announced in a really excited voice, as if somebody's handing out free money in the tail section.

Your score is a function of planes shot down, hits on your B-17, and targets destroyed. The only drawback is the absence of a final victory. You |ust complete as many missions as you can before your plane finally crashes.

These games get more lifelike all the time.

John Hack

BEANY BOPPER 20th Century

_(Atari VCS)_

No trouble here. Just plug in the cart and there it is; flying Beanies and a Bopper to bop them with. No maps of the universe, no lady computer saying she wants to lick your retina, just Beanies,

Despite the beauty of simplicity, you're going to need some live eyes and angel fingers. These are flying Beanies, remember. They sound like a herd of commuter helicopters trying to pollinate a microwave dish. They've got great personalities and they're really fun to kill as they zoom around the screen, bouncing randomly off an ever-changing landscape of computer-nerf threats.

Object of the game is to earn points by stunning and devouring Beanies and other flying objects with your Bopper. This can be a problem, because the big Bop can fire its stun gun only in the direction it's facing. Makes for a lot of mad activity as you work them Beanies for a seeing-eye hit.

Once you get the hang of boppin', there ain't no stoppin' . You get to wipe out frog-bombs, tweet y-planes, parachuting Drano personnel and "Faces." It's a riot, a "trendy atrocity" as Mike Davis would say.

Top bops are the benignlooking Bouncing Orange Eyes, which dance all over the screen like a follow-the-dot cartoon of "Send In The Clowns." Great sound effects too, particularly the stunning of a Beanie. Hum-spfat.

Rick Johnson

NIGHT STALKER Mattel

(intellivision)

Playing Night Stalker for the first time was the most excitement I've experienced since the night Detroit reached the one-millionth pound of weenies for the poor.

The instructions look as imposing as a math textbook in Slavic Braille on first examination, but it's actually a fairly easy learn.

The story is the usual little man running around in a maze overrun with spiders, bats and several different types of evil robots. None of them are James Garner's baby.

The goal is to rack up points by gunning down the aforementioned bad acts. But watch it, because the higher your score gets, the less sense of humor displayed by the mechanical villains. They start out glad-to-be-gray and run

through a wacky senes of blue, white, black and finally invisible color schemes. Only the bullets can be seen on that last one.

Intelliviston's smooth control disc adapts well to this game. The whole controller checks in at about the weight of Maud Aimee's brain, and the disc itself can be driven with the force of a mere thumbnail.

One minor quibble (yes, quibble). Although the maze has a high ambush factor, it could stand a little enlarging. The characters ore also kindo pokey. They will never be billed for speed.

And to answer all the little campers who've asked, Night Stalker has nothing to do with the movie or television show of the same name. Too bad, Darren McGavin's ears would've mode great onscreen characters.

Steve Kenyon

RIDDLE OF THE SPHINX Imagic

_(Atari VCS)_

The trend for more complicated games is getting a little ridiculous if you ask me. Some are fun, but others can put you to sleep even faster thon the 38% quicker knockout rate claimed by new Sominex 2.

Riddle of the Sphinx is one of those. "These ore dark times," the program instructions begin. Darker than you think, guys. For starters, the player—as Son of Pharoah— must learn to recognize over 30 different symbols ranging from nomad hodads to sacred treasures such as the gilded goblet and a paper towel personally touched by Rosemary Clooney,

First, S.O.P. looks around, checking out the scene and proceeds to "gird his loins." Girds, no kidding. He doesn't like computer hieroglyphics any better than me.

Are you all girded? OK, here we go. S.O.P., AKA Prince—in his frankly adorable red trunks—wants to reach the Temple of Ra. Ra, ra, ra—that's the spirit we have here!

Naturally, he's gonna run into some trouble. He has to fight off all kinds of thieves and worse, armed only with a sling shot. All the while, you have to keep an eye on his inner-strength score as well as thirst and wound ratings. Thirst and wounds, how life Itself!

Prince has to pick up a few items along the way. No hamburgers in this one. He needs stuff like a shield, staff, tanms leaf and of course. The Jug. Also on his shopping list are big spades and ankhs. All he needs is □ bumper sticker that says Ankh If You Love Pharoah.

Our pal Prince eventually runs into the Astrologer. "Avoid youthful folly," he intones.

Yank out the cartridge? No such luck. Instead, he gives S.O.P. a few riddles about pyramids, temples and Isis' opinion on cheap TV shows for children.

Eventually, Prince hits fun city, Ra. Here he makes offerings of the junk he’s picked up along the way and hopes the Big Guy is in a good mood. The game ends when the hero croaks or the riddle is solved.

If you can't figure out the riddle, Imagic provides an address you can write to ("Son Of Toth," CA.) for the right answer. Ask ’em what the hell’s going on while you're at it.

Rick Johnson

LOCK N’ CHASE Mattel

(Intellivision)

&

(M Network/Atori VCS)

Maybe I'm nuts, but it looks like Mattel designed a better game for the Atari System thon they did for their own . M Network's figures here are a little sharper, movement a bit easier and the screen itself o lot more arcade-like than lntellivision's, a surprise, because I'd usually vote for Intellivision hands down.

Anywoy, in either format, Lock V Chase is Basic Variation 81 -B of your standard Pac-Maze: you move a thief through the corridor of a bank as police dart after you and try to walk away with as much loot as possible, avoiding the cops at all costs. In Mattel's own words; "KEEP ONE STEP AHEAD OF THE LAW! LOCK DOORS AND THROW COPS OFF YOUR TRAIL!!" Admirable sentiments, guys, and if brings up the only interesting deviation in this version of Mazeness — you actually have the power to slam a door in a cop's face and get away with it!

Too bod the novelty wears thin. While Lock V Chase may at first seem very fastmoving, when you finally get the hang of darting in and out of the corridors (which should't take too long if you're well-mazed) and easily eat the gold coins (Intellivision) or bars (M Network) while avoiding the cops, you leave the empty maze through the top door and find...that you're exactly where you started again, though things move a tiny bit faster. There's no real sense of motion or achievement, in other words, so it's kind of like ploying Pac-Man without ever moving from the First Pattern.

No big deal of a game. M Network seems to be pretty hot so far, though, and it should be interesting to see what they'll cook up next. But if it's Space Invaders... I'm leaving...

Kevin Christopher

MEGAMANIA

Acttvlslon

(Atari VCS)

Here's a recent graduate of the Space Invaders school that's considerably more difficult but has a much better sense of humor.

Megamania demands the popular hit-and-run style of play. Anticipation is the key and the attacking objects move in no predictable manner, at least ot first. They charge down at different angles ond often jerk out of place without warning, like Arlene Golonka's features.

The attackers are even more fun to blast than usual: cretinous hamburgers, monster cookies, insidious radial tires, accelerating steam irons and the ever-deadly flying bow ties.

Wickedest feature of Megamania is the "MegaCycle."

When a brutal slice of meat loaf or flaming deathburger drops off the bottom or side of the screen, you're not done with it. Why do I think you already know that? It reappears in an orbital path that continuously increases its speed. You might think it's hard to get worked up over a bow tie at first—even one with a cruel sense of the absurd—but by the second or third attack, you hate 'em.

"Don't Panic" say the unin-

tentionally funny instructions. I'm sorry, but when assaulted senselessly by a lurid coven of radial tires, I get a little nervous. But if you're one of the non-panicking variety and can rack up 45,000 points or more, you get to join Activision's MegaManiacs fan club. Simply send them a picture of your score and you get an official M.M. emblem.

Big deal, it's probably a disabled burger in chains.

Steve Kenyon

SMURF:

RESCUE IN

GARGAMEL’S CASTLE Coleco

(Colecovision)

All right! Here's your chance to participate in the utter glory of the Smurf Kingdom!

Here's what you've gotta do: leave your house, jump around and duck a lot, watk through a field, in a cave, through another field until you're in Evil Gargomel's actual castle—and then, when you're there, you must risk the demons, skulls and spiders and rescue Smurfette from Gargamel's evil clutches! What a deoil

This game is great! First of oil, it's fun to watch—you get to be Smurf and can make him walk around, which is undeniably great, p/us you con make him jump up and down or duck. The reason he's gotta (ump is that there's all these

white fences blocking his path —and then, after that, there's a bunch of hills and actual clumps of grass too high for the lovable Smurf! So he's gotta |ump over all those, and then—well, you’//find out!

The point is, though, this game is great because you don't have to make him jump or duck if you don't want to! It's great! When you play this game at the highest level, birds come after Smurf, and if you just walk him right into 'em, it's hi/onous! POW! THUD! OW! If you really want fun, he can be impoled on the spiked fence/ Imagine poor Smurfette in treacherous Gargamel's castle—she's in terror, and meanwhile you could care less! Look out for that fence, Smurf! AIEEEH!! Oh no, a birdl POW!! Watch out for that spike!! AAAGHU!

You can get tired of this game real fast, but otherwise it's great.

Louis Sleogle

DEMONS TO DIAMONDS

Atari

(Atari VCS}

They said this game is for kids, but that makes it sound dumb and it isn't. It's the sort of game you'd want to give any beginner in home vid gomes—it's simple, you get immediate results, and the satisfaction of blowing demons up can hardly be overestimated.

The objective here is life itself's — "score as many points os possible while losing as few lives as possible." Easier said than done, but it isn't exactly difficult to score big with this game. At leost at first.

Premise: you're at the bottom of the screen in your laser base, and above you appear floating demons. Hit your color and get points—hit the other color and get skulls. The skulls, you see, shoot back— and therein lies the danger. Whenever your own colored demon is hit by your own laser it changes into a bright diamond—hit that and you score bonus points.

Two players are no problem . Each person's paddle controls their own laser base, one at the top and one at the bottom of the screen and each shoots for his or her own colored demons. Either player gets points for shooting diamonds. and whoever is fastest on the draw wins biggest.

The faster you get, the faster they come. It's a variation of Space Invaders of course—what isn't, if it doesn't eat dots—and it's probably easier for smaller hands than larger ones. But then so are lots of other things, too.

If I hod two kids, I'd buy it in a minute. And one of 'em would have to wait to play.

Kevin Christopher