ON BEING A MAN
You take your Kiss and shove it, little buddy. We've had enough of that jackass Ronald McDonald routine. And while you're at it, tell your pals, Aerosmith, to fly away back where they came from. Clear out all the clowns and sissies, Ted Nugent is back and we wouldn't want any of them to get hurt.
RECORDS
ON BEING A MAN
by Robert Duncan
TED NUGENT Free-For-All (Epic)
You take your Kiss and shove it, little buddy. We've had enough of that jackass Ronald McDonald routine. And while you're at it, tell your pals, Aerosmith, to fly away back where they came from. Clear out all the clowns and sissies, Ted Nugent is back and we wouldn't want any of them to get hurt. Hurt feelings, that is—because they can't even play what Ted flushes down the toilet—and I'm not talking about tampons, dickfor, I'm talking about crap, c-r-a-p as in Kiss and Aerojones (what're they, shackin' up at the motel with the neighbor's old lady? Ha, ha, ha!).
"When in doubt/whip it out." That is rock 'n' roll. And we're only up to the first verse of the first song on side one. "Dog, dog/dog eat dog." That's the chorus for the second song on side one, in which Ted also speaks out on suicide: "Kamikaze from the hundredth floor/Swan dive to the street." In other words, who cares if some asshole thinks he's depressed and jumps out the window. Splat! Now let's just p/ay this mutha!