THE CHRISTGAU CONSUMER GUIDE

THE CHRITGAU CONSUMER GUIDE

by Robert Christgau

B.T. Express: "Do It (Til You're Satisfied)" (Scepter). Boogity-shoogity, B minus.

Eric Burdon Band: "Sun Secrets" (Capitol). In this age of fiberglass, Eric's stage show appears genuinely demented - his guitar players look like head-comix versions of Chuck Berry and Panama Red, and on his second encore he holds the entire mikestand in his teeth, like a dirk. But when the poor guy was on the radio in Boston not long ago, more than one kid called in to ask how he did the guitar parts on "Layla." C.

Fancy: "Wild Thing" (Big Tree) Especially on the tour de force title track, it sounds at first as if lead singer Ann Kavanagh might be the real Suzi Quatro, but she's not, she's just the pro. You can imagine hard-core rock? Well, this is soft-core. C plus.

W.C. Fields: "The Further Adventures of Lawson E. Whipsnade and Other Taradiddles" (Columbia). A quarter century after his death, Fields is harder to deny in the contemplation than on the TV or the stereo. Sure he was a great comedian, but that doesn't make his films or records compellingly funny. "Poppy" and "The Great Radio Feuds," two companion discs, suffer from limitations of format and context (radio play, complete with ingenue at swimming hole for sex appeal; running gags about Charlie McCarthy's wooden legs) that seem quaint at best. This collection, however, is so wild that to call it surrealistic is to taint it with aesthetic respectability. Laugh first, appreciate later, I say. A minus.

Michael Jackson: "Forever, Michael" (Motown). I'm converted. Because it's possible to believe that their sincerity is neither feigned nor foolish, it's goodin theory for children to sing romantic ballads. The reason it doesn't work is that the sincerity is so transparently manipulated from above. At 16, however, Michael's voice combines autonomy and helpless innocence in effective proportions. He also gets production help from Brian Holland (who begins one side like Barry White and the other like the Ohio Players) and a few romantic ballads (sure hit: "One Day in Your Life") that are as credible on their own terms as the rockers. A minus.

"K.C. and the Sunshine Band" (T.K.). High-tension disco-soul from the white boys who produced "Rock Your Baby" and wrote some songs for Betty Wright, whom see. With George McCrae adding his falsetto at one strategic moment. A weirdo and a sleeper. B plus.

Kris Kristofferson and Rita Coolidge: "Breakaway" (Monument). The least embarrassing LP either has made in years is the testament of what just might be a fairly interesting marriage. The way you can tell is that the love songs about separation and temptation and compulsion and good-timing work out, while the ode to romantic serenity (could it be by the same Sherman brothers who occasionally soundtrack a Disney movie?) sounds like it was recorded at gunpoint. One couplet, however, encapsulates the album's failure: "I'd rather be sorry for something I've done than for something that I didn't do." You notice how . you begin to expect some sort of rhetorical foofaraw about midway through the second line? You don't get it, do you? That's what I mean. B minus.

Alvin Lee: "In Flight" (Columbia). Considering that this live double-LP might well have consisted of eight or nine speed-rapt blues solars and a couple of shorties, it is a triumph of discipline, and Lee's countryish r&b renderings do no dishoner to the memory of Elvis Presley. But his own compositions lack bite, and the covers are never more interesting than the originals. Elvis's almost always were. B minus.

"Nils Lofgren" (A&M). Lofgren has apparently regained his prodigious gift for the hook, and most of these songs catch and hold. But his visionary flash has dimmed. Somehow I expect more of this always-the-best-man never-thepopstar than a concept which demands devotion from his various women on one side while declaring devotion to his career on the other. B plus.

Man: "Slow Motion" (United Artists). If this band can put together its electric power and riffing facility with its moments of compassion and overall tough good spirits, it may turn out to be a great one. And if it does, we will turn back to this as a great album. As of now: promising, invigorating. B plus.

Melissa Manchester: "Melissa" (Arista). Manchester is very sexy in a barely disciplined, almost blowzy way -maybe a touch over-enlightened, a little too liberal with her emotions and this is a pleasant surprise. "Stevie's Wonder" is the ultimate fan letter and "I Got Eyes" nice juicy fuck music. Both transcend the rest of the album, which in turn transcends the dreariness and popped seams of the two previous LPs. B plus.

Miami: "The Party Freaks" (Drive). Inspiration Verse: "Girl with the see-through pants on, I can see clear through to your bone. What I see is outta sight. Tell me, can I love you tonight?" C minus.

Olivia Newton-John: "Have You Never Been Mellow" (MCA). After checking out the competition - I've given up on Helen Reddy, Anne Murray repeats herself, and Loretta Lynn's latest is a bummer -1 began to entertain heathenish thoughts about this MOR nemesis, whose mid-Atlantic accent inspired Tammy Wynette to found a country music assocation designed to exclude her. At least this woman sounds sexy, says I to meself, but Carola soon set me straight. "A geisha," she scoffed. "She makes her voice smaller than it really is just to please men." At which point I put away my heathenish thoughts and finished the dishes. D plus.

TURN TO PAGE 80.

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 13

Roxy Music: MCountry Life'* (Acto). The Teutoni-textures of this music are proof negative of Bryan Ferry's deep-seated romanticism. But what happens when romanticism goes sour? And what is Phil Manzanera doing on that Nico record that closes with her version of "Deutschland Uber Alles"? Oh well, I've always said good rock has to be dangerous. But when did I say it could be slow? B plus.

Leo Sayer: "Just a Boy" (Warner Bros.). Personally, I thought he was more credible in his clown suit. C plus.

Gil Scott-Heron, Brian Jackson and the Midnight Band: "The First Minute of a New Day" (Arista). This poet-turned-musician suggests that white singer-songwriters could benefit from prolonged commitment to a musically sophisticated culture. He's got it, and he flaunts it. The singing will get stronger, and maybe some day every lyric will be as much a masterpiece as "Winter in America," an evocation of our despondency that is as flawless as it is ambitious. In the mean time, the free-jazz-gone-populist band carried over the weak spots. One heartfelt suggestion: no more long poetry readings.

I laughed at "Pardon Our Analysis" the first time, but now I find myself avoiding side one. B.

The Staple Singers: "City in the Sky" (Stax). For no good reason -when last seen, they appeared ready to settle for Winnemucca if Vegas wasn't calling - this is the most consistent Staples record in years. Their politics may be vague, but at least they have a history, which is a comfort - a comfort almost wrecked, however, by one literally incredible song, "There Is a God," which makes that line about stopping pollution with a handkerchief sound like W.E.B. DuBois. B.

Loudon Wainwright III: "Unrequited" (Columbia). Since most people can't absorb the head-on impact of Wainwright's details - how do you confront a couplet like "You told me that I came too soon but it was you who came too late"? -the second side of this album, recorded live, tends to sound a little yockier than it should. On side one, however, the mockery has just the right edge of self-flagellation and is balanced off by a gentleness without which the boy might seem a little spoiled. A minus.

Joe Walsh: "So What" (ABC). No artist this inconsequential should risk such a title. C plus.

Betty Wright: "Danger High Voltage" (Alston). One of those left-field soul wonders that seem to emerge from some obscure studio or other at a rate of about one per year. Wright sounds bright and sassy, but she's been sounding that way since 1968, at the same damn studio, and this is the first time she ever got so many good songs to sing. Heartbreaker: "Tonight Is the Night." B plus. V