MAIL

MAIL

TOP TEN

Dear CREEM:

Being of as great importance as I stand and not wishing to jeopardize my office, I would like to go on record as saying (you may quote):

1. Grand Funk is the best mutha-fuckin’ group around with one bad-ass guitarist.

2. Alice Cooper smells, eats and sounds like shit.

3. MC5 are fags.

4. Michael P. Jagger can’t sing worth fuck.

5. Carole King makes me wanta whip off.

6. Brian Wilson can’t even read music.

7. The Who are great.

8. Steppenwolf is better than the Who!

9. Pete Townshend plays some fantastic lead.

10. Glen Buxton don’t know what a guitar looks like.

11. CREEM is a bull-shittin’ rag.

Thankx a lot,

I really appreciate it.

General B. Napoleon

Dwight Frye Memorial Hospital

Ward #9, Room 14.

Dear CREEM:

I live behind a drive-in theatre where Chrome and Hot Leather was just on. I don’t know, but it looked pretty bad to me. I’m used to bad movies and it just blended in with the rest. I didn’t even know Marvin Gaye was in it til I read the thing in your magazine. Don’t get me wrong, some of you may like it, but it takes a real good movie to catch my eye anymore.

Name withheld because

I might get blasted.

Altoona Pa.

TO THE RESURRECTION?

Dear CREEM: .

Please cancel the subscription for Holly Beal to your sick magazine.

You and your kind are to be pitied for polluting the minds of our youth.

The Post Office Department has been notified not to deliver this filth to our home.

May God help you before it is too late.

Mrs. Oliver Canett

Dallas, Tex.

(Too late for what? — Ed.)

Dear CREEM:

It freaks me out to see that I am writing to a magazine, but I finally figured out that if it weren’t for people writing to CREEM that your mail section would never be filled and you would be unaware of how your public felt. This all brings me to inform you that I really got off on Edgar Winter’s White Trash (Dec.); I’ve seen them in concert and they are

fantastic! I dig the fact that CREEM is a totally uncensored magazine, this way CREEM shows what the public has to say.

Before I sign off, I want all you people out there to take a positive view on life, because life really is a beautiful trip and not a drag. Remember life is what you make it so make it good. One last thing, I know there are a hell’va lot of people out there that I don’t know but I’d like you all to do me a favor, smile, thanks, I knew I could count on you.

Reet Weima’n

Toronto, Ont.

Dear CREEM:

I just got back from the Alice Cooper dance concert at the Spectrum in Philly, and I can’t stop talking about it. I love Alice! He really looked inhuman with his spider eye makeup and his lace up jumpsuit (black leather of course!). He did the Killer album (which is fantastic) and a couple of songs from Love It to Death (which is also fantastic). I really thought he was dead at the end of the song, “Killer” when two members of the band hung him. He turned pure white and blood started dripping out the corner of his mouth. I started screaming and crying but everything was all right when he came back to life with “Long Way to Go” in his silver hat and coat and his black cane. I also freaked out over Dennis Dunaway (the bass player). The next time I see him (soon I hope) I’m gonna have to grab him. Alice knows we all love him. (Wouldn’t you if you had 20,000 people just waiting to touch you?) Alice is the King/ Queen?!

Love,

Rosanne

Phila. Pa.

P.S. Tell Alice and the Gang (especially Dennis) next time you see them that I want them to come back (especially Dennis).

AN ALICE COOPER BASH

Dear CREEM:

Alice Cooper came to Providence (Providence?) to perform at Loews’ State Theatre. During the encore (“Under My Wheels”) Alice had ten or so dollars on a sword. In a state of rockehild frenzy, I climbed the stage and was pushed down by Mike Bruce. Two roadies picked me up and threw me eight (seven?) feet into the air. I am alive, Alice Cooper. Come back to Providence. Love it to death.

Spiderman

E. Providence RI

Dear CREEM:

I ran into my first issue of CREEM, January 1972. Alice Cooper is my number one group and the article Alice Cooper-All American was satisfying and fulfilling. (In other words, I ate it up.) Then February’s issue, A Slice of American Pie, on Dylan, left no doubt in my mind. This is a no-shit magazine. I can hardly wait for the next issue. I read quite a few now magazines and newspapers, all of which in my opinion run neck and neck, but CREEM comes off on top. Keep the creem churning and coming all over the fucking world.

Louis D.

Sharon Pa.

Dear CREEM:

A lot of people may have noticed Led Zeppelin’s fascination with The Lord of the Rings. (And rightly so!!) They sing of Mordor, the Dark Lord and Ringwraiths, and the new album has runes for its title.

I think it would be weird to know their thoughts on the books and Tolkien.

R. J.

Jax Fla.

(Led Zeppelin’s runes, however, are not Tolkien’s but rather actual symbols used in Iceland for ages as part of their language; they are the sort of runes Tolkien based his language upon. See Jules Verne’s Journey To The Center of the Earth. —Ed.)

Dear CREEM:

If you dare send another issue of this garbage to this address, will see to it that my attorney contacts you.

Sandra Flannery

Chicago Ill.

(The enclosure was a coupon addressed to “James Flannery.” Let’s hope Sandy’s his mother, not his wife. —Ed.)

Dear CREEM:

Don’t get me wrong, I like your magazine, I mean I even subscribe, but how in the world could you print the review of Fleetwood Mac’s Future Games that you did (Jan.)? It was all of fourteen lines long stuck in some section called “Rock-a-Rama,” and whoever wrote it, I can’t find his name.

Besides these absurdities, the review is totally misleading and doesn’t even have the facts right. I quote, “...added the bass player’s wife (who is conspiciously absent on all the tracks but one)...” This line is misleading in that not only was the girl the bass player’s wife (and still is), but she is also the former lead singer and piano player from a group called Chicken Shack, and was voted Britain’s top female vocalist a year or two ago. Also she is not absent on all the tracks but one; Christ! she wrote and sang lead on two of them, and if you listen to the music on the record you can hear her on the other songs too.

Lastly, I’ve seen Fleetwood Mac do this album live, and I’ve listened to it many times, and it is fine, fine music. To give the group that helped Peter Green turn out “Oh Well,” and “Green Manalishi” this kind of review is really a shame. Danny Kirwan is a good enough guitarist and writer to make Fleetwood Mac one of today’s most polished groups all by himself. He already has “Tell Me All the Things You Do.” “Station Man,” and “Jewel Eyed Judy” behind him, but all you could give the group was fourteen lines of bullshit and lies. “A dying British blooze band meets CSN&Y,” what a shithead.

Mark McClain

Dearborn Hgts. Mi.

(All right: Rock-a-rama is unsigned on purpose, because it is deliberately brief, and we’re up to limiting linear congestion. And “the bass player’s wife” business is getting a tittle weird: her name is Christine Me Vie, yes, she is all over the album, yes she used to be in (Chicken Shack. —Ed.)

COOPER CRUMPLED

Dear CREEM:

How could you do what you did to Alice Cooper in your Jan. issue? Who ever made those pictures of Alice Cooper really fucked Alice up bad. Man, he ain’t that shitty looking. That was the first time I saw Alice anywhere than on his album covers, How could he look beautiful on all his albums and look like a dog in your magazine? Man, it just gotta have been something wrong with your camera. Or maybe it wasn’t really Alice Cooper cause Alice is beautiful. And that guy in the article looked more like Tiny Tim than Alice. It just couldn’t have been Alice. Tell me that wasn’t my beautiful Alice Cooper!

And where did Lester Bangs get all those big words in the article on Alice? Didn’t really understand any of it. What was it about any way? I still dig your magazine anyway.

If you see Alice Cooper tell him I love him even though he looks the way he does. To me he is still the beautiful Alice Cooper on his album covers.

Char

Marcus Hook, Pa.

Dear CREEM:

I haven’t seen anyone writing on Alice Cooper note that Renfield, Dracula’s locked up “raving maniac” assistant, in the 1931 classic, was played by Dwight Frye. Fame at last!

John Gregory

S. Glen Falls, NY

Dear CREEM:

I imagine that, for anybody who read it, there must be a couple of questions hanging in the air about my story (Unto Us A Child Is Born, etc, January CREEM) about the monks. Here’s some information that might help clear things up:

First of all, the story is two years old, having been written under the influence of a fiction-writing course I was taking at the time. It is set in County Kerry, Ireland in late October, 680 AD, and all the names and events are quite scrupulously authentic for that date and place. The operative principle is that of the crystal radio set (the “jewel” being a galena crystal), and the message concerns the death of Mohammed, which is what the title is all about. I don’t know whether there was indeed a Brotherhood, or whether they used radios, but I sure hope so.

Currently, I’m writing a series of rather more readable short stories about the Lower East Side in the mid-1960’s, something I know a bit more about.

Rock On,

Ed Ward

BLAME IT ON THE BOSSA NOVA: REPRISE

Dear CREEM:

Is Audie Murphy Jr. for real? Hopefully the name is a pseudonym! Whatever, surely CREEM is not so desperate for copy that it must print (much less pay for) absurd tripe such as COMPLETE COVERAGE OF THE PALSY TELETHON (January). Am I really way off base? Or was it supposed to be “funny”? It was far from it.

First should Murphy Jr. cast stones? Second, is there nowhere in your publication that good taste enters the picture? In the same issue with a fantastic piece on film (AMERICA: TWO WAYS OF LOOKING AT IT) by John Kane, how can you push off such fetid stuff as Murphy Jr. writes? Unless you purposely edited the article the way it appeared, perhaps Murphy Jr. can tell me why it makes no sense whatsoever. Third, does Murphy Jr. have any feeling or compassion for anyone, himself included? After reading his drivel, I think not.

I do not consider myself an intellectual and I do not pick up CREEM to read intelligent articles. (Thanks a lot—Ed.) If that is what you want, well there are other magazines, let’s face it. But CREEM does have a reputation for being interesting and entertaining, and articles such as the above by Murphy Jr., which is perhaps the most poorly constructed story I’ve ever read (not to mention the limited vocabulary of “fuck”s, “shit”s and “the fuckin’ yid” and “Jesus piss” and “Born a retard”) certainly don’t help any.

Your writer not only had his facts confused in several instances but his song titles incorrect. There is much that can bewritten about how boring telethons are and about the phony glitter they contain. However, essentially, telethons serve the purpose of raising hard to secure money to combat disease. Surely CREEM can overlook the schtick in such events and even the likes of Murphy Jr. can realize the money goes to help those more unfortunate than he (or are they really?).

Continued on page 80.

Continued from page 6.

Perhaps I will show a bit of square in me, but I have always found anyone who made light of others’ afflictions and personal tragedies sadly lacking in brains and common sense. And Murphy Jr.’s remarks about the Rogers family were lower than low.

If Murphy Jr. is allowed to write such vapid junk, how in the world,can he criticize Dale Evans for writing a religious book. And perhaps he should go back and count the number of authors who have best-sellers the first time out. He would find very few. And when did Murphy Jr. have anything approaching a bes,t seller? And when will he? If he continues to write the way he writes — NEVER...

The only surprising thing in the article was that Murphy Jr. remembered Wild Thing and The Scene on 46th Street. Those were indeed happy years. Maybe he should try writing about them.

Ellis Nassour

New York, NY

Dear CREEM:

Way back in September I was just a sweet but ignorant young thing until one day while truckin’ around I spied a mag with a picture of my teen idol, Jagger, whanging that sexy ass around (boy, would love to strump his beef) so I snatched it up and ran home to cream (no pun) over the cover, but lo and behold, what is this other shit? MC5? Jethro Tull? While pondering I discovered my calling was rock, I had to know everything. So not only did I send $6.50 for a sub and a Who lp, but went out and bought MC5, Howlin’ Wolf and Jethro Tull. I gotta thank you for kicking my ass, sheeit fire, today I’m into about 30 groups that five months ago never'existed for me. Nowadays nothing gets me more excited than rock, I’ve gotten around 50 lps since then and they still have to hold me back when we pass the local record place. I live rock and hafta say that what you like I buy, but not the other way around. Sticky Fingers is dynamite shit and it still reminds me of summer when I play it, but that’s another story.

I thought you might be interested in Hard Meat’s Through a Window. I know it’s old but since my recent awakening I only got around to buying it the other day. After hearing “Smile As You Go Under” on one of the Warner/Reprise send-away-for-goodies, had to get the l.p. and it don’t disappoint neither. “Smile...” is first class and Hard Meat really got it together on this album. Speaking of Warner/Reprise bargains, did you ever hear side three of Songbook? It’s funny as hell, I liked it so much I changed my name to Susie Creamcheese. Listen to Wild Man Fischer’s “The Taster and the Story of the Taster” on side four of The Big Ball. That is one damn FINE song.

If anybody wants to recommend any lps that you particularly dig, especially oldies with members of groups before they became big (y’know what I mean, like Terry Knight and the Pack) it’s o.k. with me.

If I could, I’d like to get every album ever made by all the groups in the world, but I’d also like to clean up pollution and finish my term paper on time. Besides, my record player needs a new needle. Thanks, CREEM, for being so hard on.

“Susie Creamcheese” Patton

Wilmington Delaware

...AND IT DON'T RAIN IN INDIANAPOLIS IN THE SUMMERTIME

Dear CREEM:

Whoopee and another three cheers for Apple Records.

I recently purchased Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band by the Beatles, and after opening it, much to my dismay at the obvious lie in packaging, it had an Apple label on it. O-kay .. . t.s. I sat back in my armchair, listening to it and damn near thought I went deaf in my right ear when “Good Morning, Good Morning” played. Nothing: all I got was a John Lennon solo for that particular song. No right channel. Thinking that my turntable was having fits, I proceeded to play my LP on other sets. Same thing: no right channel on “Good Morning, Good Morning.” All I can blame at this point is that little green apple in the middle of this gem of a disc.

What I’d like to know is if I have a collector’s item, or a worthless reject. I’d appreciate it if you’d check into this and explain. Thanks.

Howard Horrman

Suffern, NY

Dear CREEM:

After watching a great movie, Don’t Knock the Twist, starring Chubby Checker, Linda Scott, Vic Dana, Gene Chandler (doing “Duke of Earl” in costume—insane) and the shortlived Little Eva, not to mention the Dovell’s doing “Bristol Stomp,” I noticed that the lead singer of the Dovells sounds remarkably like Mark Farner. And so does Mutzie sometimes. Anyone know any other comparisons?

O.k., the next time Crawlspace (a spaced out movie) is on the t.v., catch it, and the best movie to scare the shit out of you — Night of the Living Dead. The best, really.

Enough promo,

Cherie Detroit Mi.

(Well, the lead singer of the Dovells was actually Len Barry, of “1, 2, 3” —Ed.)

THE LIBERATION OF DAVID R. MARSH

Dear CREEM:

For doing in the Beach Boys’ Surf’s Up, Dave Marsh should be hanged upside down. (In a cage? —Ed.) I am glad he has no intentions of even “thinking about reviewing it.” (Smile.) We avant-garde rock freaks wouldn’t be happier. Nothing goes perfectly well with Mother Nature than the Beach Boys music. But I think Dave Marsh doesn’t dig Mother Nature either. What do you dig, Dave, yourself?

Free Dave Marsh

Jerry Lopez katapangan

Lansing Mi.

P.S. Viva la revolucion!

Dear CREEM:

Well here it is early February in 1972 and I’m thumbing through the September ’71 issue of your cool rag. Blows my mind. I’m gonna subscribe. I ran upon my Sept. ’71 issue in the home of. some friendly but pitifully misguided Jesus freaks back in the long hot summer.

Too bad they disagreed with me that CREEM was much more interesting than The New World Translation of the Holy Scriptures. So here’s my hard bummed six bucks and an out-of-date subscription blank for a year of heavy shit. Hope you’re prices haven’t soared.

Long live the Motor City

“Jesus Freaks too”

R. Matthews

Lost City

KUDOS

Dear CREEM:

Although your magazine fails completely as a music publication, I feel you should be commended for the excellent way you portray and promote the typically cynical, unenlightened attitude toward life that is so widespread in the people of the Midwest.

David M. Lewark

San Francisco, Ca.

Resident of Mishawka Ind.

1949-71

(Try telling that to Ed Ward, John Morthland, Langdon Winner, Greil Marcus, Mike Goodwin and the half dozen other CREEM contributors who are your Bay Area neighbors. —Ed.)

FUNK FAN FREAKS

Dear CREEM:

I read your March issue on the letters, and boy was I pissed. What rights do them bastards have for slamming Grand Funk, them pricks don’t even know what they are talking about. Shit, GFR is the best group to ever come out and I think the Beach Boys sound like shit. I must agree the Rolling Stones are an o.k. group, but I’ll put GFR up to any group. I don’t give a damn about Terry Knight, I figure all he’s trying to do is hog all the money.

As for the Band, they sound like shit and should try to learn some stuff from Grand Funk. So next time, you tell the fairies to watch their mouth. I may be wrong but Grand Funk is the best thing that ever came out. By the way, I read your magazine and I think should be going on for years. Keep writing.

Andy Isbell

Topeka Kansas

Dear CREEM:

The January issue oi your magazine is the first copy I’ve ever read, and I see you make quite a bit of use of the word “fuck” which is all right-but does it have to be everybody’s favorite word? I’m getting so fucking tired of the word “fuck” that I feel like going out and fucking the whole fucking world. (Just because I’m virgin territory doesn’t mean I have to like it, which I do.)

Anyway, that’s all beside the point, which is that I could not get into your articles on Alice Cooper, the cerebral palsy telethon or the record reviews. In fact, I couldn’t get into your magazine at all, except for the feature on Rod Stewart. (Congratulations! That one even showed some intelligence!) Despite these setbacks, I thought that your pictures weren’t bad, and I did get a few snickers out of the whole thing. (Iggy playing golf? Well, if that’s his thing.)

I’d send some of my own shit to you (you name it, I write it) but I’m a little short of bread right now. Keep looking for me though.

Peace, I love ya,

Mariah

Willmar, Minn.

Dear CREEM:

I was gratified to see that some magazine finally gave some well-deserved credit to Humble Pie. After raving about them for years after I procured a copy of Town and Country several years ago, the American public is finally getting some long-awaited TASTE in music.

I was slightly (make that GREATLY) irked when youj reviewer, a chap named A1 Neister, made the comment, “Peter Framptons are plentiful but Steve Marriotts only come along once a year or so.” Now I love Stevie as much if not more than A1 but Peter Framptons are if anything LESS plentiful than Steve Marriotts!

Peter is my favorite guitarist and has been for years because of his vivacious and infinitely interesting playing. He sings with feeling and has written all of the Pie’s most lyrically competent and moving songs, such as “Only You Can See,” “Home and Away,” “I’ll Go Alone,” “Earth and Water Song,” “Shine On” and he also wrote joint songs with Marriott.

Now that Peter has left the Pie I think that Stevie is gonna start hurting for his haunting vocals and tasteful guitar. I love you Steve but I love Mr. Frampton more.

Dave Johns

Raleigh, N.C.

Dear CREEM:

I’d like to take exception to Lester Bangs’ praise of Columbia Records, as shown forth in his review of the Chicago album in your February issue. While it is true that, as Lester said, Columbia comes up with the best logo, best lettering in artists’ names -and album titles, best photography and best cardboard, still Columbia Records exists as a black blot in my consciousness.

In mid-March of 1970, I was anticipating moving to the West Coast and found myself with hundreds of long-playing phonograph records that had to go with me. Pondering this question one night while getting loaded with a technically-minded friend, we came upon a solution. In a matter of an hour, we had designed some boxes that could hold a hundred records apiece, were virtually unbreakable, and which furthermore had the advantage of being made out of furniturequality plywood that could be stained when

the boxes arrived at their destination, where they could be utilized as record shelves. With Teutonic precision we measured a record album and found it to be 12½" tall, so when we made the record boxes, we made them 12 7/8” tall. It took us hours to finish them, but we fairly glowed with accomplishment when the job was done. Still glowing, we piled the boxes into a car, drove them to my house, and began cramming records into them. Suddenly, we came to an album that just didn’t fit. It was a recently-issued Columbia album. We were astonished — our measurements were completely accurate, we knew, so what was wrong? The album, that’s what. To this day, Columbia albums are 12¾” tall — a full quarter-inch taller than any other brand of record. Nobody at the company will divulge why, either.

These days, when a Columbia disc joins my collection, I cut a groove in the ceiling of the box where it will repose. I sincerely hope others will take heed from my most unfortunate experience when it comes time for them to build their record shelves.

Yours Very Truly,

Maurice Christiansen

Tamalpais Jct., Cal.