CREEM O.G. Jaan Uhelszki, veteran observer of more breakups than Fleetwood Mac, offers relationship counseling for bands on the brink

I’m a little disappointed in you, my readers. Not a single letter this month about your drummer boyfriend who thinks you’re “too intense,” or your roommate who ate your edibles and blamed the cat. Not one question about your lead-singer ex who keeps subtweeting you from the stage, or the bass player who “just needs a place to crash" and three years later still hasn’t left.

No love problems. No drug problems. No roommate problems.

Just band problems.

Which, if we’re honest, is all three rolled into one. A band is a marriage, a commune, a cold war, and the shared delusion that this time you’ll make something holy together before somebody steals the spotlight.