If you want the real tea—stories for days— avoid the band and talk to the crew. I’ve heard some of the most insane things from catering, guitar techs, hospitality, tour managers, and tons of others; stories about Coffee Mate stuffed into cocaine bags as revenge, French onion soup as collateral in a hostage negotiation, and a band guy making it to a gig by taking an eight-hour Uber across several border checkpoints without a passport. Life on the road is always romanticized, but for these regular guys, being on tour is just splitting time between hard manual labor and intense boredom while dealing with mind-boggling narcissism.