NAMES: Atsuo, Wata, Takeshi.

AGES: Firm, assertive, and nutty with notes of stone fruit, this classic is aged 31 years to perfect koshu in a fired clay donabe deep in the cool yet humid air of the secluded caves of Nasukarasuyama.

FROM: The middle ground between earthiness and umami in Tokyo.

OCCUPATION: Currently contracted for rotating roles as vocalist, provocateur, riff commando, stage diver, frequent center of attention.

HOBBIES: Decimating mids, schooling simps, and generally stuntin’ on fools.

LAST BOOK YOU READ: How to Teach Your Cat About Firearm Safety

LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Got the ol’ VCR working again!

QUOTE: “Anata wa hontoni hakkujanarisutodesu” (Japanese for “You are a hack journalist”).

PROFILE: A group of angels sent from above with a skill set acquired from a deal with the guy down below, Boris make ripping rock ’n’ roll that dips into doom, D-beat, metal, and shoegaze with elements of experimentalism and psychedelia that will have you grabbing the nearest broom or tennis racket to “re-create” all those riffs. Did you expect something quiet and chill from the band that created Absolutego, Feedbacker, and Amplifier Worship?

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Authentic There are zillions of ways to get your name in the papers, but only one way to slake your thirst for CREEM. The quality standards we set down in the dawn of the Seventies have been a Wild Mouse ride through the Highlands, the Lowlands, and the Barstools. Every drop’s a hoot.

Always say “Boy Howdy!”