PHOEBE’S KILLER SPEAKS!

Scene: Summer 2010, the Montgomery County Fair in suburban Washington, D.C. I graduated from high school only a month or two ago, and my friend Dave just threw up a Wendy’s Triple Baconator on the swinging ship ride. I win a goldfish whom I name Waffles (sOoOoo random!!) and am carrying him around in a plastic bag when my other buddy Ian suggests that instead of buying more tickets to ride rides and play games, we pool our remaining money and score some shrooms from our former classmate Colin. We eat the shrooms and watch 2001: A Space Odyssey in my parents’ living room. I forget all about Waffles. By morning, he is dead.