PLASTIC FANATIC COMES AROUND, SORT OF

Subject: Im Diggin This Issue

First glance at this last issue has me captivated and is reeling me in! Fuck Ya! There is a kind of a cool balance I am really diggin’. I’m gonna do a page by page savor. Will be sending the team my feedback for sure. Boy Howdy!

MAKE A FUCKING FRISBEE:)

All The Best Guru.

Sincerely,

Paul (a.k.a. Talljeeper) the Patron Saint of the Boy Flowdy Frisbee

Your invitation to our first annual frolf tournament is in the mail, we promise. —Ed.

AWFUL CANADIAN NEEDS HELP

Dear CREEM,

Maybe you can help me with this missed connection?

You were wearing a fitted Rugrats t-shirt and a Lemmy tattoo on your left arm. I was wearing modified winkle picker boots with big buckles that you called Winklevoss boots. We were at the Dead Lobster in Winnipeg, Canada, a lifetime ago.

The show was either Perfect Pussy or Generacion Suicida, I fell down in front of you and you stuck your boot in my mouth. Later when I asked if you wanted to go out, you shouted, “WHAT” and kept walking away when I repeated myself. It was a pretty busy night at the old Lobster.

We took the same bus that morning. You sat several rows ahead of me, like we didn’t spend the whole evening together. When I held your hand to help you up after slipping on the icy sidewalk, you said sarcastically, “Don’t fucking touch me, ass face.” It was so us, we already knew how to make light of embarrassing moments.

I put my rat tail in your backpocket as you left. If you remember any of this, please mail a letter to The Crusty Bun, I’m between places right now, and they let me sleep in the back if I promise to start the yeast culture every morning.

PS. Those were the days, huh?

Gravy Zeghers,
FlinFlon, MB

“GLOBAL ROCK ’N’ ROLL”

I recently let my ‘Rolling Stone’ subscription end because they became irrelevant for the Rock ‘n’ Roll scene, only concentrating on rap, pop, and hip hop. Yikes.

Started my Creem subscription from day 1 of your relaunch last year and have yet to see anything substantially Rock ‘n’ Roll in the issues received so far.

Your slogan is “America’s only Rock ‘n’ Roll magazine”. Seems you are still stuck in the original Detroit (East Coast) punk and new wave scenes and not expanding to a national and global rock ‘n’ roll bent.

How about pieces on rock artists who are still relevant and making new music? New stuff from recent years include Mike Campbell (former Heartbreaker) and the Dirty Knobs, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Black Keys, Pearl Jam, Pretenders, and Joe Bonamassa to name just a few.

Quit living in your past glories from decades ago and move forward. As Sammy sang in “Rock Candy”, “Pull up your pants, stretch out, take a chance”.

With love,

Bayareaboy

Sammy also once said, “Thank you for all the wellwishes on my 75th birthday,” to which the above bands replied, “What was that? Speak up!” —Ed.

WE’RE A HAPPY FAMILY

Hey Creem,

Loving the revitalized issues of the magazine, but have to say that the archives on-line are just as good. I never read y’all the first time around so its been a blast catching up. I started from the beginning and plan to read them all. It was very Detroit-centric at the beginning and mostly covered concerts, but even reading about the bands that played was exciting. As time went on, you really hit your stride as a top notch music magazine. Thanks for making the archives available to us subscribers. It’s amazing!

Alan Brum
New Jersey

Thank you, Mom. I appreciate you trying to keep up my confidence, but you don’t have to use a fake name. I know it’s you. XOX —Ed.

NOTHING TO SEE HERE

Jason Bombach @SydMonk • Mar 20 T , y Just got my newest @creemmag and you know it’s gonna be good when it had to ship with a piece of cardboard over the cover in case your mail carrier is a prude.

Wie were also worried about household pets. —Ed.

TRAVEL RECOMMENDATION

BOY’S TOWN! The vacation destination of 2023! The garden of earthly delights! The castle in the crystal city! In Boy’s Town there is so much to do, so much to see, and none of it passes the Bechtel test. Local dive bar? MEN! Punk fest? BOYS! Dictators banning abortion and any mention of “diversity” at state institutions? BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Weirdo noise fest? ALL DUDES!!!!

BOY’S TOWN is like gentrification, or Carharrt, or a third wave coffee shop. It manifests everywhere all at once in North America, and looks pretty much the same no matter where it is. For example, where I live (I forget the old name of the city, cuz now it’s called BOY’S TOWN) there is a fest called Oblivion Access Fest. In doing my deep, extensive research for this important letter, I got so bored trying to see if any of the bands had femme people in them that I stopped.

I got to the end of line 3 and as far as I can tell, it’s just a bunch of... DUDES!!! MEN!!!! BOYS!!!!! So if you like MEN—the sexy, mysterious, powerful beings, and creators of all art and knowledge—as much as I do, buy your tickets today!

KM

We don’t like anyone but agree that this sounds like a bummer. —Ed.

MOVIE RECOMMENDATION

I’m not sure it’s possible to accurately describe Mr. Waits fanbase, but Hether tried.

I think she was better when describing some of his music, which admittedly is not for everyone.

A major omission in the discussion is his soundtrack album with Crystal Gayle for Coppola’s movie One From The Heart. It is superb, his best work IMO.

Thanks for the reboot, I was a subscriber the first time around. It’s good to have you back.

Jay Homel
Pasadena, Ca.

HOROSCOPIC BACTERIA

In Jaan Uhelszki’s lengthy interview with Billy Corgan, he managed to get in a complaint about cancel culture, the supposed erosion of free speech, his fear that we’re living in a “world of feelings, where facts don’t matter” and then says that “as a Picsces” he’s able to see both sides of the argument. What???

I just want to ask Billy: did your chart also tell you that you sound like a wacko?

Sincerely,

Someone who doesn’t believe in astrology OR Billy Corgan

Hamtramck, Ml

In sober support of free speech we are committed to printing this letter. —Ed.

POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS

Hi there,

Never done this, but had to drop a line to say how fucking great my first (Spring) issue of Creem was.

You sucked me in with the relentless Instagram ads and the free t-shirt. I grew up with Creem and was skeptical you could pull off something that didn’t feel purely nostalgic and tired. But you knocked it out of the park—perfect balance of old bands, new artists I’m already hip to, and new stuff I’d never heard of.

All with the appropriate irreverence but also passion and fun in the writing—something sorely missing in the Pitchfork-era of music journalism.

Hope you guys find an audience.

Chris Warshaw

Wow and you got Dad to write one too? Love you guys. —Ed.

FROM RAGS TO REGULAR

Never mind the fact that Tom Waits himself is an extremely regular white man from a middle-class family in San Diego or something.

Isn’t that what rock and roll is all about though? The idea that you’re not like those around you and you need to break away from the mold. Don’t be so hard on him, now. He’s just like all of us!

(New issue’s great. Keep ‘em comin!)

Love,
Tom’s funny hat

You sound like a pretty unique guy. —Ed.