Please send letters to:

Mail Dept., CREEM Magazine P.0. Box P-1064, Birmingham, Ml 48012

CLOCKWORK NAVEL?

Is there something wrong with my copy of the May CREEM? Or did one of your cameras drop acid? Or, is it really true—the Bionic Spaceman himself, David Robert (Robot?) Bowie, has NO NAVEL? I’ve always claimed that the dear boy is extraordinary, but this forces me to conclude that a) he was hatched by the last Great Auk, b) he is very old—“Hello Madam I’m Adam” or c) he is really one of those robots come to bring us ruin/salvation that he delights in singing about. If c), then I’d like to know his intentions. At least I know what Lou taped for MMM.

Metallically yours,

Stardust Lady Ring of Saturn

(He had it surgically removed and gave it to Iggy to replace a nipple bitten off by the latter while in a coma. - Ed.)

HOBIE GILMAN LIVES

Was David Bowie ever in Las Cruces, N.M. “Loretto Mall” shopping center on a Saturday or Lriday????? My sister mentioned the fact that she saw a tall redhead, very pale, wearing pale tight clothes and walking sorta fast. He gave her the overall impression of “WEIRD” or a David Bowie. Outstanding because we never see anything like that in our lil’ ole hick town. Later we learned he was making a movie close by in Albuquerque. So it made us wonder...(By the way did he hear my mother utter “IT LOOKS LIKE ONE OL THOSE...”???)

Jan

Hick Town, N.M. (Alias “Gateway to Hatch”) (Well, it obviously wasn’t Gabby Hayes. -Ed.)

SCHMEBBLE BABBLE

This is in reply to Capt. Z, and droogs I heard the album and thought it was great and now I’m sure that I can state hey, DAVE! it sounds alright hey, DAVE! I’ll spend the night we love you and we want it more we love your lyrics, yes we think they’re fine

he put you down, we say he’s wrong ah come on, Dave, sing it strong DAVID BOWIE, your bod’s alright DAVID BOWIE, let’s freak out tonight DAVID BOWIE, oh now you know GLITTER KING, we love you so Weird & Gilly,

The Spiders From Marrs Hartford, Conn.

(See, anybody can do it. - Ed.)

AT $8.98 LIST, THEY OUGHTA FETCH YER SLIPPERS

All right you peoploids who own Bowie’s Low album and Stage live albums—get out your black lights and put them on near the vinyl of these three discs and see what happens. The record wax itself is black like any other album, but when you put these records under a black light they glow green. If you put on a light at the same time whilst holding the records under the black light they turn blue. Ver-ry strange. Ex-Californian aka Alan Baillargeon Providence, RI

(If you put the records in an incinerator, they glow red, briefly; then white; then they finally turn into picture discs of the Meatloaf album. - Ed.)

SLOBBERCOUNT

After spotting the cover of the June issue (Angie and David on the cover) I nearly climaxed in my pants. I picked it up in my shaking hands and read in the left hand corner, “The Naked Bowie.” Total orgasm! That article had to be the best I’ve read so far. For freaks like me, it’s hard to come by a Bowie story. They are few and far between. I guess some people just don’t have the good taste that others have. Oh well, they will just have to find out sooner or later that the Bowies are what the world has been waiting for. Anyway, keep those nude photos of David (and Angie) coming. Ecstatically yours,

One of those groupies who gets her thrills by looking through rock magazines and slobbering all over the pictures,

Colleen Fox

Hollywood, Cal., where else?

NO ZIGGY, NO JIGGY

I am quite displeased with you. In your May issue of CREEM, a girl wrote in asking where she could write to David Bowie. I was also wondering where I could write.

Well. I wrote to H. Rap Brown (it’s where you said to write to) and the letter came back marked “Return To Sender.”

If it was meant as a joke, then I am infuriated! Can you possibly print, or send me the correct address in which I can write to David Bowie?

I shall very much appreciate any type of response.

Sincerely,

Marilyn Schlagel Minneapolis, Minn.

(Any type? All right, all right; just to get you off our backs: you can write to David c/o Mark Rudd at The Playboy Building, 8914 Blackstone, Chicago, III. 60619 Attn.: Passing dept. But hurry, because there’s no telling where he’ll hole up next. - Ed.)

IRONMUNG

Hey, can you guys tell me something? Just what do you people at CREEM have against good music? I mean, it’s rather obvious, since you dorks continue to tear apart talented musicians, and songwriters like David Bowie, Emerson, Lake & Palmer, etc., while simultaneously praising the garbage, no-talent likes of Iggy and the Stooges, and/or the New York Dolls, and/or Black Oak Arkansas, and then returning to poke fun at John McLaughlin, Elton John, and Ian Anderson! Quote: “Wots... uh, the deal?” You’re very strict about talented musicians, yet when it comes to people that cannot play their instruments, you’re all for them! It is rather irritating, yet it really doesn’t matter ’cause I always did believe and still do believe that ALL rock critics are a pack of miserable hackneyed incoherent baboons, so what the hell?! You’re still a helluva lot more entertaining than Rolling Stone or Crawdaddy! Keep up the mung,

Scott Weigandt Oshkosh, Wise. (Goslchegreymeeblenurgkslu5se9vds7dnsl - Ed.)

NUMB NUTS

I never heard the records (’cept the car radio singles and the Ziggy Stardust LP once through), never saw the concerts (’cept that bee-zar Cavett appearance), never joined the fan club. But Lester Bangs’ piece on Bowie ’74 beautifully put together everything I’d ever sensed about Bowie: The Man Who Couldn’t Feel. Thanks again Lester.

Andy Schwartz Minneapolis, Minn.

SPACE TRUCKIN’

This is my response to my letter of some ten days ago (We threw it out—whew! - Ed.), in which I promised to devote my time and energies to the people by exploring the realities of space colonization. I’m sure you’ll be interested in the results of my inquiries. The Beatles have responded to my challenge and have agreed to be the opening act in my combined autobiography/ colonization presentation.

By using the almost universal acceptance of the Beatles, I hope to bring an instant authenticity to my project. Their reunion is of enough significance that through them, I can communicate to the whole population, not just various special interest groups.

The concert will take place the first week of the new year. I hope that the speculations and the realities involved with colonization and this particular event will thrust this solution to the world’s troubles into the limelight.

Sincerely,

„David Bowie"

Indianapolis, IN

(pffffffffffffffft-Ed.)