INITIALLY COOL

INITIALLY COOL

L.L. COOL J

Bigger And Defter (Def Jam)

My name is R.C. and I’m the bad rap reviewer/I cut down all these bums, I’m a reputation-skewer/You may think this is bullshit but I know I’m good/I’m the baddest rap reviewer in my neighborhood/And if this bragging bugs you I’m just staying true to form/’Cause if your rap ain’t boasting you're not keeping up the norm. (break)

I know y’all got questions, it’s plain to see/Uke is this rap thing for real or just a novelty/’Cause these rap guys can't sing and like to act like an asshole/But people think they’re cool if they mention White Castlel/Like take the Boys Beastie, the ones who are Caucasian/Some think they're garbage-mouths, others think they're Rabelaisian/They're slobs, they’re yobs, but they stir up the mobs/ They're riding high for now (hope they keep their day jobs)/Or consider the dilemma of Run-D.M.C./Seems they gotta hang with white boys just to stay on MTV/But they’re better than the Beasties or at least they’re more substantial/'Tho good and bad don’t cut it where the measure is financial. (break)

Which brings us to this L.L., this guy who thinks he so sweil/He’ll bend your ear and shout at you until you start to feel ill/He’ll brag about his prowess, how he’s a lion not a mouse/He’ll make you either love him or he'll drive you out the house/But though his ego’s healthy and he's having sexy high times/You can tell he's got a bug up there, it gets into his best rhymes/’Cause he’s seen his bros crossover and maintain their basic style/So he knows his time is coming and he can run that plat’num mile/’Cause don’t matter if he’s jivey, don’t matter if he’s hammy/L.L. Cool won't be fulfilled until he’s sucking on a Grammy.

(break)

But I don’t think he’ll make it, I don’t think the pales will take it/’Cause he energizes rap with life but don't shake it and don’t break it/He don’t mix it up with metal, or white boy gross-out antics/And tho’ he’s in fine fettle he won’t sell it to the frantics/LL. tells us he’s a hot one and he gets his kicks in beds/But what Beastie-Run fans want to bang is just their big fat heads/Not that he’s a purist, he does doo-wop and the surest/Mix of riffs and licks and rips and lifts and not just like a tourist/But just because he’s such a clever guy don’t mean he'll do it/’Cause if you boast to racists and you’re black they’ll misconstrue it! (break)

So that’s my opinion, that this record is no goof/But I don’t think its sales are gonna go right thru the roof/But what the hell do I care 'cause I got my gig right here/As the baddest rap reviewer, he who calls them without fear/And if my rhymes were rank, in fact you think they stank/Then tell it to your mommy you worthless lowlife crank/’Cause from where I’m sitting babe I know I’m the ace/They quote me ’hind my back and they quote me to my face/They quote me in their kitchens, and they quote me in their halls/And I sign myself

Richard C. Walls!