CHAINMAIL

CHAINMAIL

CHAINMAIL is your forum ... if you have any opinions, observations, secret knowledge or simply a godlike insight into metal, we’d love to hear from you. So, to become a force to be reckoned with in metal circles everywhere, send your letters to:

CHAINMAIL, CREEM Close-Up, 7715 Sunset Blvd., Suite 202-204, Los Angeles, CA 90046.

LETTER PRINTED IN ITS ENTIRETY

Art Roberts’s assessment of heavy metal magazines was cool, even though he did miss Aardschock and Metal Mania.

I like the fact that he feels the Hit Parader letters column is superior; I edit it. But his comments in another metal mag blurb (Rock Scene): “Unlike Circus and Hit Parader, Rock Scene prints real letters” was untrue. Both Circus and Hit Parader print real letters. Paul Gallotta edits the letters column at Circus and told me these are real letters. At Hit Parader, I print parts of real letters from real people, so that we can get more letters in. I like the funny letters and the letters that knock big stars like Bon Jovi the best; that way people write back more letters. The reason I printed Skippy Throckmorton’s letter was cause I liked Skippy Throckmorton’s name. And if Skippy Throckmorton wrote to Hit Parader again, I’d gladly print his letter again!

I bet you don’t have the guts to print this letter!

Rock ’n’ Roll!

Anne Leighton

Managing Editor, Hit Parader (This after your Lita Ford story? Darn you.—Ed.)

ALL THE STARS BE WRITIN’!

I got your June issue of the CREEM METAL magazine; I saw the review of my album—thank you for checking it out. The magazine has been sitting on the table all week, I have read it cover to cover. I don’t usually look at magazines like yours—I have to wonder about some of those boys wearing all that make-up on their faces. They wear some silly clothes.

I mean, it looks awful uncomfortable to wear all that stuff. I don’t think I could walk down the street where I live and make it one block and not get shot if I looked like that. It made me think that it would be real funny to see some of these guys do a weekend at L.A. County Jail. I think they would come out of there feeling a bit bent out of shape. Well, at least they would have a new definition of the term “Cock Rock.”

I like that boy Chuck Eddy. I like his attitude. He doesn’t like me. If some hack who resembled a skinny, shriveled-up version of Woody Allen liked me, I wouldn’t take to that very kindly.

I read the interview with Iron Maiden. Whoa! Those guys should shut their mouths. They do songs about some pretty stupid stuff, with all the movies and pedantic books around, they’ll never run out of material. Those boys are a trip, like Spinal Tap but for keeps.

Oh man, that letter that the girl wrote in about being so bummed out about Bon Jovi claiming he was “bi” really hit me hard. I mean shucks, I couldn’t believe that guy was into women! Looking at his picture, listening to his music, it would be hard to believe that the guy was into women at all. I mean, no way, no way.

Well anyway, have fun, be careful with all that make-up and hair spray: some man might decide to bend you over and show you what he means when he says he “Ain’t Talkin’ 'Bout Love.”

Henry Rollins

Trenton, NJ

WE’RE COOL

Your June issue kicked total ass! Thank you so much for the article on Lita Ford! She is the greatest! I’m so glad that you didn’t forget about her! It seems that other mags forgot about “The Metal Queen” because of her long-delayed album, The Bride Wore Black. All the other mags forgot about her because she’s not in the public eye. Well, screw the other mags! I’m with Lita through thick and thin, in good times and in bad! I don’t know how to thank you enough for remembering her! Lita: I doubt that you’re reading this, but maybe you are. You’re the best damn guitarist and I’m gonna follow right in your footsteps! I’m gonna make it someday! You’ve given me proof that a girl can make it in the rock business! I’ll never forget you, Lita. I love you, always!

Nanci Mielcarek

Boardman, OH

(Which “other mags" are you talking about and could you write them a real, real long letter?—Ed.)

MEGADETH:

DARE WE TRUST THEM?

I don’t understand metal bands, especially Megadeth. They seem like they have a good personality but then they screw it up.

Now, I know metal makes people happy. But is it real? Is it honest? I don’t think so. In your April article Megadeth said the way they got together was Gar and Chris had a jazz fusion band and it was going nowhere (like in money), so they joined up with Dave Mustaine. Also, they dressed different. Who are these guys? Are they making it as themselves? Or are they what the people want—what makes them money?

Think about it. I’m not putting down heavy metal, because I used to listen to it, too. But really: Is it true and real? I don’t know. Who can you trust? Those guys?

I know there’s gonna be a thousand hate mail letters sent in about me, but if you really look at it and think about it, I’m sure in the back of your minds you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Lucie

Blackwood, NJ

MIFFED MIT MUSTAINE!

I was reading your January 1987 issue and there was a story on Megadeth. Well, why does Dave Mustaine cut down Metallica? Is he pissed because he got kicked out of the band or is it that he’s jealous of what Metallica has done for themselves?

He says that he wants to “bury the hatchet.” Well, why the hell does he call them “dickheads”? He’s just going to start more trouble than he can handle!

Personally, I don’t think he has the balls to tell James Hetfield he’s a “dickhead” to his face. He would probably get dropped and thrashed in his tracks.

If Megadeth is as good as they say they are, why (in Cedar Rapids with Alice Cooper) did they get booed and told to get offstage? Iowa is a heavy metal state. But they sucked! Since I have read this article I really have lost interest in Megadeth. Personally, I think Anthrax kicks their ass! And I have talked with a lot of metalheads and they all agree with what I have said. We all think this Dave Mustaine is a jealous punk!

Diamond “Dave”

Burlington, IA

READER CONFUSION: IS ALICE COOPER GOD OR IS ALICE

COOPER OZZY OSBOURNE?

My girlfriend and I were overwhelmed at your June ’87 issue of METAL. I believe Alice is God (my girlfriend insists it’s Ozzy). But we were both very glad to see him in your magazine and hope that you can keep up the good work. We believe that Alice doesn’t get the recognition he deserves. We appreciate you putting him in your mag, but we’re a little disappointed when you labeled a song from his latest masterpiece (Constrictor) incorrectly. What you called “The World’s Full of Guts” is actually named “The World Needs Guts.” Anyway, we would like to say thanks to Alice for returning. His fans really missed him but we all knew deep in our hearts that the man behind the talent would return to show us that he is as loyal to his fans as his fans are to him. And for everyone who is reading this, especially all you party animals in N.P.R., Florida, “Don’t Forget The Coop!!!”

Devoted Alice Cooper Clones,

Aimee & Keith Snellenberger

Brown County, IN

CHUCK, THE VERB

So Chuck Eddy thinks “metal was punk before punk was metal.” Well, I remember punk before punk was metal and what I’d like to know is where the hell was Chuck Eddy with all his wonderful insight back in 1981 when I was getting my ass kicked by long hairs in AC/DC and Led Zeppelin shirts?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that kids

TURN TO PAGE 60

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5

YET ANOTHER UNEDITED LETTER, FOR KICKS

Hi, my name is Ron Brewster and I’m currently a broadcasting student in Detroit. I was wondering if you know about the tragic problem here: there is no heavy metal on the radio. Yeah, there’s Zeppelin, Sabbath and a lot of other great bands, but there is not a really good rock ’n’ roll station and I think it’s bullshit. Since I’m going into radio, I am going to change that. But for now, I am just sittin’ back and listenin’ to tapes. I think your magazine is very informational and as the weeks go by, and I get more into it, your magazine is really going to help me out a lot. Thanks. Keep up the excellent work!

Ronnie Brewster

Madison Heights, Ml (Check out next month's ZROCK feature, Ronnie—it’s chock full of metal radio info you can use to subvert bad radio formats everywhere. —Ed.)

WELL SAID!

I have quite a few things to say about your mag. First of all, it’s my absolute favorite! I have been reading METAL for quite a long time now, and I think’s it’s the best. It’s the only REAL METAL magazine around. All the other mags say and think they’re the best. But then they fill it up with sissy groups like Motley Crue and Quiet Riot.

Now let’s get to the point. I was wondering if it’s at all possible to have more articles on Metallica and Megadeth. Especially articles on Cliff Burton. Also, getting down to the mellow metal, if you can scrape up anything on Led Zeppelin or old Deep Purple, please print it.

Cari Skowronski

Parma, OH

CHUCK, THE VERB

So Chuck Eddy thinks “metal was punk before punk was metal.” Well, I remember punk before punk was metal and what I’d like to know is where the hell was Chuck Eddy with all his wonderful insight back in 1981 when I was getting my ass kicked by long hairs in AC/DC and Led Zeppelin shirts?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that kids are getting along better these days. I no longer listen to anything in particular— the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Slayer, the Cult, Marillion and yes, even Led Zeppelin, but I can still recall the lengthy, nasty gap between punk and heavy metal before this great crossover bridge was constructed. Remember the slogans?: “kill hippies,” “punkers are gay,” I could quote John Lydon (who now listens to Van Halen) on a few.

About this Chuck Eddy guy: “what’s his problem, anyway?,” to coin a phrase. If he would have stuck to the facts rather than splatter his own feeble opinions in my face I might have enjoyed reading his article. He must have an impressive record collection, I’ll grant him that—but the rock ’n’ roll of the ’60s and the 70s is not punk. It may have influenced punk, but it’s not the same. The Stooges were not punk, and just because Iggy Pop has moved on and isn’t cashing in on a recycled craze like Alice Cooper is, doesn’t mean he’s lost any of his divinity—he’s better on stage than he’s ever been.

It’s bad enough slagging off Henry Rollins and Stiv Bators, but shrugging off the late, great Jim Morrison as a bad poet was uncalled for. I wouldn’t be surprised had he proclaimed Captain Beefheart as the Edgar Allen Poe of our generation.

Eric Sachs

Rancho Mirage, CA

P.S.: I like your magazine, please do something on D.R.I.