DR. FREUD, I PRESUME

DR. FREUD, I PRESUME

CENTERSTAGE

BILLY IDOL THE CULT Los Angeles Forum May 8, 1987

Bill Holdship

It’s often been said that Billy Idol is a dick.

I was sure that the people who said it (and I’ve often thought it, based on some of his interviews and antics) were speaking figuratively. It seems now, however, that Idol may be taking the claim literally, as he began this second of three sold-out shows in the L.A. area by entering the stage through the in-between of what resembled two shapely female legs. Now, Billy may have been symbolizing birth or even rebirth here—but I think phallic imagery was what the star had in mind. And the symbolism wasn’t lost on this mostly teenage audience, the majority of whom looked like they were answering a casting call to star in an MTV video. I counted at least six Billy Idol clones in the lobby, but the “punk” scene and heavy metal crowd (perhaps due to the Cult’s presence as openers) were also well represented. And then there were Lolitas by the score, a heavenly answer to any teenage male rocker’s masturbatory fantasies: mini-skirts (and I mean mini), fishnet stockings, and enough leather to make CREEM’s famed Buttermilk “moo” in alarm.

Sex was definitely in the air— and it’s often been said that SEX is what a Billy Idol concert is supposedly all about. It’s a glamorized view of SEX—almost an unconscious parody of it at times—and the image has more to do with the S&M “let’s be (or at least look) mean” variety than the loving kind. The bottom line is that it’s nothing more than mere masturbation, but the kids seemed to love it. And beyond Idol’s grand entrance as the Incredible Human Penis, the man also seems to be quite obsessed with his balls—or just balls in general—as he mentioned them frequently during the course of his show. After introducing his band, he said: "And you know me, of course, Old Blueballs.” And then he grabbed them as if to illustrate. “How are they hanging?” he asked several males in front of the stage before launching into “Eyes Without A Face.” And, of course, there were the now famous pelvic thrusts which made it look like Billy was symbolically humping the audience (he and guitarist Steve Stevens also laid down and humped the stage towards the end of the show). This legendary Idol maneuver has frequently been compared in the press to the onstage antics of Elvis Presley in the 1950s, but anyone who’s really studied old clips of Elvis in action (especially the infamous appearance on The Milton Berle Show) knows that there’s no comparison. Elvis did it with a sense of humor, like it was a private joke between him and his audience—and he always made it look FUN. Idol makes it look mean and unfun, and the message seems to be "I’m a superstar stud.” Nothing more, and how could it possibly be anything less?

mis Elvis comparison has often made me wonder what it is about Billy Idol over the years that has made me dislike him. In every interview, he mentions Elvis Presley and Lou Reed. Along with John Lennon, I think that Presley and Reed are the most important rockers that have ever lived. And although he doesn’t mention them as much, the Jim Morrison and Iggy Pop influences are there as well—and I’ve always loved those two supposed historical antecedents. Plus, even I have to admit that he’s tossed off a good song here and there. So why does he continue to turn me off? I figured seeing him in concert might help to understand the Idol phenomenon better.

The performance itself was OK. The band is comprised of fine players, and Steve Stevens is a real good... perhaps even a great guitarist. The hits were all performed to perfection, although even the biggest Idol fan would have to admit that the material from Whiplash Smile leaves a lot to be desired. However, it also has to be said that nothing during the entire show ever once came remotely close to moving me (on the other hand—to be fair—I don’t think I’ve really been moved by any arena show since John Cougar Mellencamp last toured), and the performance grew pretty tedious by the end. It’s been said that Billy Idol is trying to change his image, but these days he comes across as a parody of himself— a cartoon, actually. He seems to excite his audience, but this crowd—like most of today’s crowds weaned on MTV—seemed conditioned to respond to sensationalism as opposed to charisma. And charisma is exactly what Idol lacks to make him the real thing or the genuine article. Look, I saw Elvis Presley several times when he wasn’t even supposed to be good anymore (hah!) as well as Lou Reed, who’s supposed to be a shadow of his former self nowadays, (hah again!)—and Idol, supposedly in his prime, couldn’t hold a candle to either of them in the charisma department. See, what he fails to realize when he sings the praises of both is that Elvis was never anything less than real, while Lou has always been more than just a craftsman. And both always knew that the best music comes from the heart as well as the balls (or whatever noun you wanna use to signify SEX).

Billy Idol represents the finest in modern narcissism. Lest we forget his first hit song (and the number that opened this show) was "Dancing With Myself.” Someone should cover him in a lifesized condom.

The opening set by the Cult was a major disappointment. I really get a kick out of Electric—but suffice it to say that this performance spoke volumes on the worth of Rick Rubin as a record producer. To be fair, the band was having an extremely difficult time with their sound. And when Ian Astbury started strutting (which he did too seldomly) and the band would hit a groove, you could sense a good band lurking beneath the hard rock trappings. But someone really should do something about Astbury’s inane between song patter. “Are you feeling alright?” he’d sing in a forced blues style that would make Robert Plant grimace in embarrassment. And he’d ask/sing “Do you want to hear another song? Are you sure? ARE YOU SURE?” between almost every song. Oh, yeah, he also wrecked the drumkit, smashed a guitar and knocked over several Marshall amps during the “Born To Be Wild” encore—but the Who always did it better.

The audience really warmed up to the Cult, so their future as an arena act looks pretty bright. Personally, I howled with laughter throughout the Cult’s set—but let’s just say that I wasn’t laughing with them.