METAL: THE MAGAZINE

METAL: THE MAGAZINE

More than a mere concept, METAL is also a great magazine, as we keep reminding our publisher. And, of course, we’ve got the ammo to back that up: namely, you, our wonderful readers, who've made this magazine possible. Not to mention the swank penthouse apartments we in Editorial live in, swilling beer and throwing stuff on the floor!

In deference to us, then, we present the coolest section of METAL LETTERS— since it's about our overall neatness and cosmic grandeur. Keep writin’, lads and lassies!

WHAT OTHERS LIKE IT?

First of all, although you probably won’t print this letter, I want to tell you I think your magazine, and all others like it, reek. The ONLY reason I bought your March, 1987 issue is because I happened to see a tiny picture of Slayer in the bottom corner of the cover—hardly noticable with the big picture of Ratt taking up most of the page. It’s real nice of you to run an article on Slayer now that they've signed to a major label, but where were you back in ’83 before half the world knew who they were?

Another thing I can’t stand is all those pretty-boy, poseur fags that darken almost every page of every issue. Ratt, Poison, Motley Crue, Twisted Sister, Cinderella, I could go on and on. I’m sure ♦ hey aren’t actually homosexual, however, if these iosers had any redeeming talent, they wouldn’t have to dress like women to look “cool.” They have to do this to stand out because they don’t believe in themselves enough to make it on their own merits. They aren’t any better than Boy George was. I guarantee five years from now most of these bands will be just a bad memory. The real tragedy is that these commercial, bubblegum metal bands are dragging genuinely talented bands such as Judas Priest, Rising Force and Dio right down with them. These bands used to kick a-, now they kiss it. You do run more good articles than, say S— Parader or Jerkus—if you would just cut the bull—, you’d be a pretty good mag. You should have more thrash articles—even punk articles. Even though I personally don’t like punk, I’d rather read about that than Ratt issue after issue.

The final thing I wanted to mention is regarding the record review Steve Hochman did on Megadeth’s latest. Hey, Steve, it’s time to get a better dictionary because conventicle IS a real word, and it sounds good, too! Aren’t they just too much? Oh, yeah, while I’m at it—I’m glad Chuck Eddy liked Motorhead’s latest LP, but comparing it to rap?? Gimmie a f—in’ break! I hope Lemmy didn’t read that. Why don’t you try to do an article on Destruction (total thrash) or Trouble, a Sabbath-influenced yet totally religious band who look like men, not bumble bees? Anyway, if you don't print this, I won’t even know ’cause I don’t plan on

buying this mag again unless you cut down on the cack.

John Foster

Ft Lauderdale, FL

CHUCK EDDY: HE’S THE BEST!

Who the f— do you think you are, Chuck Eddy? Everything you write you have to put someone down. Take, for instance, Jimi Hendrix in the February issue I happen to think Jimi is still and forever the best guitarist in this world. If you don’t think he’s at least somewhere on top of the list, then you are one damn a-hole.

I don’t care to hear all about you* putdowns on the rock stars. I want to hear of what they accomplished. But no. dear Chuck has to put his stupid s— load in. His s— isn’t even worth reading. I think (no doubt about it. others too) he ought to get his a-kicked off the magazine along with his snotty remarks. As one reader who wrote to you and said. “If you don’t like ’em. then don’t listen to 'em.’’

Let’s Hear It For Jimi!

Tami

New Albany, PA

ONLY GOOD LETTER IN THIS ISSUE

I think your mag is a total scream (but is that good or bad?). Jeez, you know ...

I really wish the Metal Triumvirate could be resurrected... If I sacrifice Madonna (“Like A Virgin”) would it help?

Chris Nemetz

New London, CT

PUN LIGHTENS EVERYONE’S DAY

Disgusted! Disgusted! I am to live in this modern age and still be without microwaveable music! Case in point: my new Megadeth album was mercilessly warped by a bright sunbeam with a warped sense of humor. I quickly rushed the wavy platter to the microwave and made several attempts (some close) to straighten things out. The disc changed different patterns. Nevertheless, / remained the one burned. Oh well, unmicrowaveable albums might sell, “but who’s buying?”

Way by the way. your mag is the creem of the crop . GET IT??!! CREEM of the crop!!

Tony Sty

Cleveland. OH

REAGAN: “I FORGOT!”

I was reading your “Chammair section in a recent issue and I was amazed at how ignorant some people are I read one letter saying that Motley Crue rules and Metallica sucks. Then I turn the page and read how Metallica rules and Motley Crue sucks Now I'm not saying I’m an expert, but it seems to me that this constant arguing is going absolutely nowhere How can we join together and stop all these people that are trying to ban concerts, records, magazines, etc., when we are all at each other's throats? I bet all of these anti-metal people pick up this magazine and fall to the ground laughing All this bickering is just helping their cause and encouraging them to go on. Calling each other names in these letters are idiotic. One letter in particular really made me mad In a recent issue there was a letter from someone going under the name "Death To The Crue.” The person that

wrote that letter went on to call some females that wrote letters in other issues Sluts, Bitches, and to go to hell Who is that supposed to impress? Also in the let-

‘ ter it told Miss Kim Boucher to learn to ® grow up. I think “Death To The Crue" should take their own advice. Well, to end my rambling on, I’d like to ask the readers out there to not send in letters that rag on other bands. It's cool to write about the bands you like but please don't give your opinions on who sucks. If you do, we’ll just keep going around in endless circles. Well, thanks for listening!

Richard Brown

Sacramento, CA

WE ASSUME ALL BLAME!

Q: How many metalheads does it take to do a crossword puzzle?

A: What an absurd question, anyone with more than a thimble-full of brains knows that metalheads are incapable of doing anything at all.

Come on, all you headbanging scum, don’t you want to be more than a crack in a sidewalk, or more than some s— a dog deposited in a crack in a sidewalk? Do you not want to be a human being, and think, feel and exist? Do you not want to remove yourself from the inanimate? Some part of you does, otherwise you would have already commited suicide. There is a part of you that wants to live, and a part of you that wants to die. but why should that part of you that wants to live succumb to death? Death needs no justification, but what about that living part of you that does?

All modern metal is stupid. Ask yourself why you like a particular contemporary metal band, and, if you’re honest with yourself, you will admit that it is because that band keeps your aggression and attention occupied. Just like TV, Duran Duran or any other arbitrary amusement and distraction from life. Stupidity is death. How do you exist at all, except as thought and feeling. And if thought and feeling are a matter of degree or development, then so is life.

Q: How many intelligent rock critics does it take for rock criticism to have a great, lasting and significant impact on rock music?

A: Data insufficient to answer question. There was only ever one intelligent rock critic, other than myself, and he, Lester Bangs had a minimal influence.

Can’t you idiots believe that rock music is important enough for you to insist upon the validity of your opinions, and to be willing to offend a great portion of your audience? Why can’t you think deeply enough about this music so that you find something to be absolutely rabid about? Can you not aspire for a world where

dozens of bands emotionally heavier and more powerful than the Stooges played?

You guys are partly responsible for the mess that is metal. You do not think hard enough. You do not care anywhere’s near enough. You do not provoke whatsoever. Where are the bands which are heavier than the ones we have now. that could, and should have existed? What happened to them? Nothing gets done without a cause, and if there is no cause, then nothing gets done.

If you just do not like sermons, I guess that you just don’t like sermons.

Torquamaligula Rex

Apple Valley, CA

ALL BANDS ARE COOL!

I am really sick and tired of reading letters from people saying that one band or another sucks. Obviously not all people like all bands but that’s no reason for you to put them down. If you don’t like a certain band, fine—just don’t listen to them Just because you don’t like them doesn’t mean they have no talent. Face it—if they didn’t have the talent, they wouldn’t be signed to a record contract. I’m always reading about the “wimpy clothes” and make-up some bands wear. It’s just all a part of the rock ’n’ roll image—whether that image be leather and studs or lace and make-up. I like a lot of bands, from thrash metal to pop music. I admit I don’t like some bands but I don’t put them down because I know other people like them. So stop putting them down everybody.

Mary Wargo

Rochester, NY