Metal The Magazine: What You Readers Think And If

Metal The Magazine: What You Readers Think And If

This special section means the most to us here at METAL! What is it? Why, it’s a special little place where all your wonderful comments have to do with us! That's right—it’s where you guys tell us what we’re doing right or—get this, now—wrong! Can you imagine?

In any case, it seems there are a few of you out there who think we could be doing a better job, or something! Frankly, we're confused, hurt and incredibly amused by this very concept! After all, how many other metal mags out there bring you the most popular trio of record reviewers in history, that well-known, much-lauded triumvirate of heavy metal wisdom—Martin Dio, Hal Jordan and Jesse Grace? Furthermore, how many other magazines bring you the highly controversial Gary Graff? Not to mention the spectacular photos you appear to enjoy so much! Or the incredible captions that the wise ol’ editors spend hour after hour dreaming up when we’re driving home in our Porsches, which we bought with all the money you guys have given us, indirectly, by purchasing this very magazine! Heck, we think you're the greatest! And even if we don’t always see eye to eye, remember this: as the editors, we can say anything we want, and you can’t do a single thing to stop us! Yep!

IF IT HAPPENS, IT HAPPENS!

I’ve been reading these metal magazines for a long time. One of the highlights of reading them, besides the articles, is the mail that you print for all readers to see. I think this is a great idea because so many people get to voice their opinion and actually have someone listen. But I just read this one letter, and I just think I will finally voice my opinion. I would like to say that I think it is really gross the way these people write vicious letters back and forth about one another’s favorite band.

It is really obvious that there are many different metal bands around these days, and there are many people in this world with very different tastes. No matter how hard these people try, they are not going to get every single person who reads this magazine to share their same tastes. I would much rather read someone’s interesting comments about a band, etc., than a few nasty words written back and forth between a bunch of groupies about how big Stephen Pearcy’s d— is. Who cares? That is really not what I want to read. How can you people seriously hope for something like world peace if you can’t even agree on this one subject. As long as we all like metal, no matter what kind (commercial, glam, glitter, black, death, or heavy, etc.), then why bother fighting about who stuffs their pants and who’s ugly? This is not a beauty contest. It is

supposed to be music for your listening enjoyment.

One person who is tired of hearing from Vince’s latest bed buddies, YAWN!

Boston, MA

BEST MAGAZINE EVER

May I take this opportunity to tell you that your magazine has provided fantastic coverage through the years? Your honest and down-to-earth interviews can hardly be compared to any other magazine around! Mostly, I am pleased with your coverage of Led Zeppelin through the years. As Robert Plant, Jimmy Page, and John Paul Jones continue to receive success presently, it’s important to remember what an influence they have on today’s music industry. Thanks for your memory of the frontmen of rock ’n’ roll. Keep it coming.

Christine

New Port Richey, FL

READER DOES NOT APPROVE

I’ve purchased several of your magazines, and I’ve found that they're getting worse with each issue. Therefore, I’ve come up with five things which could salvage your magazine:

1) As it is, your magazine would only be worth the money if it were about five cents a copy. You have to make somewhat of a profit, so l seriously suggest you cut a dollar off the cover price.

2) Stop putting pop bands like Giuffria in your overpriced magazine.

3) Kill the asshole who writes the stupid captions in your overpriced and poporiented magazine.

4) Fire Annene Kaye and hire someone who knows how to write a f—ing interview! (i.e., “If you had a gameshow, what would it be called? What’s for breakfast?”)

5) And finally, stop putting Belfegore on the cover of you magazine trying to be f— -ing comedians. I think the comedy is working, though—because your magazine is a f—ing joke!

I thought you could use a reader’s help, and I’m sure I speak for many headbangers.

Robert Plaff,

Baltimore, MD

P.S. Who in the f— is Belfegore!?

TROUBLE!

You suck!! Your reporters suck! Your articles suck! Every f—ing picture has some stupid-ass, nonsense caption near it. You suck. Get a real magazine. Your articles have the dumbest questions in them. In a recent issue some bitch asked Bobby Blotzer if he liked Vince Neil’s nose. Come on, assholes. How dare you make fun of another magazine! Faces is 100 times better than this piece of s— you call a magazine. You suck!!! The only good magazine you ever put out was The Collector’s Edition of Kiss in 1977.1 hate your f—ing magazine.

Circus rules, Hit Parader rules, Faces rules, METAL sucks.

Yours truly,

METAL sucks

P.S. The only reason I ever bought your piece of s— was for a Motley Crue centerfold a long time ago.

P.P.S. You suck.

HELPFUL READER!

I am writing to ask you why the captions in the July ’86 issue are so lame. Many people, including myself and my friends really enjoy them (usually). I took the time to write you a few. For the picture of Zoetrope on page 28: “Everybody watch as I attempt to beat myself up.” For the top picture of Quiet Riot on page 75: “The rest of the band really digs the other pineapple.” For the picture of George Lynch on page nine: “George finds that inhaling your hair is harder than it looks.” For the picture of Sammy Hagar on page 64: “Hang a blueberry in front of Sammy’s face, and he’ll chase it all day!” Well, whaddya think? I mean, they only took me five minutes, so get with it. Your sales will go way down if you don’t. If you need someone to write, then drop me a line. If your captions don’t improve, then I believe you do.

Jeff Starr La Habra, CA

ONLY LETTER WE DIDN’T MAKE UP!

What a great magazine you have! I’ve read all the other rock magazines, but yours offers the most variety and personal interviews with my favorite rock musicians. I really enjoy reading about Ronnie James Dio, Iron Maiden, Metallica, and the Scorpions. You let people know what’s going on in the rock world, and you bring out the personality in everyone you interview! The part I enjoy reading the most is your “Celebrity Rate A Record.” Even though I don’t always agree with it, it really is very funny! Thank you for publishing such an outstanding magazine.

Sincerely,

Brenda Matamoros Antioch, CA

APPARENTLY OUR WORK IS NOT APPRECIATED BY THESE PEOPLE

We would like to congratulate all of the photographers for a job well done. Issue after issue, METAL’s heavy metal closeups have extraordinary photographs, taken by very talented photographers. Unfortunately, that’s where the compliments end. Except for the pictures and an occasional average-to-decent interview, CREEM’s METAL Close-ups are nothing. We really think they are pure trash; we are trying to be polite. Time after time, writers and especially those who review albums put down the heavy metal artists of today. They waste so much space putting the artists down, there is no room in your magazine for the facts we want! “Martin, Hal & Jesse” seem to be very one-sided, and sometimes ignorant when reviewing heavy metal albums. (Notice that we say they seem to be that way.) We did not follow Martin, Hal & Jesse’s example and falsely accuse someone of being something when we didn’t know for sure—a very bad example of (their idea of) journalism, on their part. Most everyone at your magazine seems to get a kick out of putting down heavy metal. It seems to all of us that you do not even like heavy metal. Our question to you: If you don’t like heavy metal, why don’t you get the hell out of the business???

Nikki Shelton Monica Ganescu Loi McKee Monica Montgomery Patty Shoulders Graham Hayward Kathy Miller Hampton, VA

MIXED CRITIQUE!

Been reading METAL on and off since last October or so, and I love it. Although I do have complaints, which I will air now along with my compliments:

Complaint— How come you bleep out the f—ing four letter words in Chainmail, when the same f—ing words are going to occur throughout the rest of the magazine? I mean, really, man, are you guys trying to protect your impressionable readers from such filth or something? I’m 19, and I’m no member of the “see spot bite d— and give him rabies” set. It isn’t like we haven’t seen or heard pottymouth before. Before you make assumptions; I am perfectly literate, utterly cool. A major headbanger (Metallica, Armored Saint, W.A.S.P., Iron Maiden, Ozzy , Crue, Saxon, Yngwie Malmsteen, et al) and I don’t like censorship of anything. Anything! Period.

Complaint—The cutlines (aka captions) on the photos in the May 1986 METAL are about as imaginative and about as funny as a dead parakeet. Did you throw them out the window for good? Hope not, ’cause that’s one of the things I most look forward to when I pick up an issue.

Comment—On page 76 in the March ’86 METAL, you just had to print the Ross Halfin shot of a certain L.A. metalman looking somewhat like a cross between Rip Van Wrinkle and a disinterred-butlovingly-preserved corpse. Of course you know what’s wrong with the photo ( and the accompanying cutline regarding hypnotizing American musicians), don’t you? It’s incredibly cute. OK fellows, there were the great concert photos and the like, but the sleepy shot...uh...well, really, man, no more cutesy stuff, please? My idea of fun is beheading Cabbage Patch dolls. And my thanks to you for putting decent literature on America’s newsstands. Keep it up. METAL is a right kick ass magazine.!

Metallically yours

DoomSister

(Blind In) Lawton, OK

TRIUMVIRATE UNTHINKINGLY ASSAILED!

This letter is for Hal, Martin and Jesse. Come on guys, your record reviews are getting outta hand. I mean, who wants to read about going to the dentist, or Better Made potato chips, or Rush memories? You guys are supposed to be reviewing records, and not talking about delivering chips instead of milk. You guys can do a lot better—like you did with the big review involving Slayer, Venom, Exodus, Abattoir, Impaler, and Savatage. That was one of the best reviews I’ve ever read\ I mean it’s OK to crack a few jokes here and there, but don’t let things get outta hand. Many of you magazine people tell us to buy a tape or record ourselves, and not tape our friends; because it only hurts the band. Well, we try to buy our own, but we need your help, also, by taking the time to review some records. What CREEM Close-Ups really need are more people like Peter Davis, who can even out the good points and bad points of a record and tell us if it is worthwhile or not. So come on guys, stick to the records and let the doctors handle the penicillin.

Joey Pavlik

Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario Canada

NOT A VENOM FAN

I just read your March ’86 issue of METAL, and I have a few points of criticism and a few compliments. I’ll start off with the compliments. The article on Ronnie James Dio, by Moira McCormick, was most excellent. The article on Ozzy was pretty good too. I’m not trying to be patriotic or anything like that, ’cause I’m far from that. But why did you put a picture of couple of mentally deranged assholes ripping apart a U.S. flag in your magazine? I’m referring to Venom, in case you didn’t figure it out. How could you put a picture of Venom in the same issue as Dio?! There should be a /aw against it. They are not only the lowest, and ugliest forms of life on earth, but their “music” (?) sucks!! I could go on and on about these jerks, but I’ll spare you. I’m sure you got the point.

I got a good laugh out of that picture of Rogue Male. What is Rogue Male? They look like the Stray Cats in drag! Also, I don’t know if you are aware of it, but you wasted 10 pages on Kiss, not including the cover. You should have used those 10 pages on a band more deserving of it, like Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Accept, and Scorpions.

Kiss isn’t even real heavy metal; neither are Motley Crue, Ratt, Quiet Riot, Twisted Sister, Bon Jovi, Autograph, W.A.S.P., or Dokken. You should put out a “real metal” CREEM Close-Up featuring only bands like Dio, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, AC/DC, Accept, Ozzy Osbourne, and the Scorpions. Maybe even Motorhead.

Karl Johnson

New York, NY

TREMENDOUS IRONY!

Oops...l just realized the reversal of the Aerosmith photo on the cover of the May ’86 Metal Close-Up was deliberate. I was so busy looking at the picture that I neglected to read the caption.

Thanks.

Barbara Rivers

Newton, MA

THOUGHT WE FOOLED YOU!

I bought the Oct '85 issue of METAL, which is the first METAL I have ever bought. You guys must really have your butts taped to the wall. Whenever a person that writes in to you and swears and says a naughty word, you guys put “(Deleted—Ed.)" where the word should be. Now, if you think about it, that’s pretty useless considering it is easy enough to know what the word is, anyway. It’s also pretty dumb, because you could turn the page and read an interview with anyone with some crap in it. Yet you jerks don’t seem to realize it. I think it’s time you great editors pulled your heads out.

Jeff DeMartini

Alliance, NE

COOL GUY APPRECIATES VERY HANDSOME TRIUMVIRATE

I’ve been reading CREEM and METAL for quite a while now and being part of the public who is responsible for your getting paid, I thought I’d share my views on the October ish of METAL.

1) Why do you bother to print letters from moronic cretins like Eric Bowen? Slayer and Venom certainly aren’t musical virtuosos, but at least they were original when they started out, and both are fairly exciting (not dated and derivative like Savatage, who have one of the more stupid names around). And Belfegore are one of the best new bands around. They may not be true metal, but five seconds of a Belfegore tune such as “All That I Wanted” or “Don’t You Run” has more feeling and excitement than a roomful of Savatage LPs—but a mutant like Mr. (?) Bowen couldn’t ever comprehend a band as good as Belfegore. How can you take anybody who says things like “Raise the Fist of the Metal Child” seriously, anyways?

2) A note to Richard Riegel: Listen more closely to the Lords Of The New Church (who aren’t really metal either) tune “S, F, & T.” In the chorus, Stiv sings “S—ed, F—ed, and Tied-up too,” not “So F—ing Tattooed.” If you’re going to consider the Lords metal, then how about doing an article on them, since the last one was in May ’86 and the band could use bit more recognition (and so could Belfegore! As long as you put their name on the cover, the least you could do is inform the readers who don’t know about Belfegore—the majority, probably—what —what the fuss is about).

3. Kudos to Hal, Jesse and Martin. Their reviews are often entertaining (even if they don’t get around to doing the review). And to everybody else, keep up the good work, especially the guy who writes those nasty photo captions and the guy who finds all of those uncomplimentary photos of the stars (such as the Kevin DuBrow pic, on page 2.)

Dudley Morris

THE GREAT WHITE NORTH

GUY HAS VESTED INTEREST!

I just finished looking through your METAL Close-Up for March ’86, and I don’t think I’ve ever run across a better example of irresponsible journalism. I know that CREEM is famous for its satirical edge, but some things were taken just a little too far. I’m speaking specifically about your mention of David Donato, the current record holder for the shortest ever time spent as vocalist with Black Sabbath, and Mark St. John, equally talented at spending barely any time at all with Kiss. Elsewhere in this same issue you refer, not specifically but obviously, to Mr. Donato as a male model with a door knocker on his belt (sic). I chuckled at first, but then I realized that poor Dave hardly had a chance to distinguish himself beyond your description. The fact is, David Donato was probably the best thing to happen to Black Sabbath since Ozzy. At the time, he was hungry, unknown and young enough to pump new life into Sabbath. He really is an incredible singer and songwriter.

As for Mark St. John, I think it goes without saying that he’s gotten his share of knocks and punches. This time you guys skipped the verbal slurs and went straight for the throat. I can’t believe you printed this disgusting photograph of Kiss holding up their platinum records for Animalize. I mean, why is Bruce Kulick in this picture? You know as well as I that he had absolutely nothing to do with the recording of Animalize. In fact if you recall, when Animalize was first released, most critics and fans alike singled out Mark’s playing as the major highlight on the album. How soon we forget\

Anyway, I guess the reason I’m so bothered by such silly hogwash is because both Mark and David are rehearsing here at my studio, and having seen them in action with their new band, White Tiger (also featuring Michael Norton on bass and Brian James Fox on drums), I can’t believe the abuse they’ve gone through because of their past associations. I know that when White Tiger is unleashed upon the world, the members of Sabbath and Kiss will realize their mistake.

Sincerely,

Shawn Perry Garden Grove, CA

DOWNER!

When I saw your October ’85 issue, I was automatically drawn to the fantastic cover. After I read the Crue and Ratt articles, I wondered what possessed me to buy such a lousy magazine. Oh yeah! The pictures!!! Every time I read one of your magazines (which isn’t often) I get really ticked off. You must enjoy insulting musicians and millions of people—or are you just jealous? Look, METAL, stop being so tactless and rude to the best damn rock groups alive! Like Bobby Blotzer said, stop picking on mega-bands that sell your magazine because without them, you’re nothing!

Maro Trotta Clemmone, NC

SHE’S GOT US!

I am so sick of the stupid as hell captions you put in this magazine! Whoever does it? Ronnie James Dio's height has nothing to do with the music. That is what this magazine’s suppose to be about, isn’t it?? And also, Rick Johnson, if you don’t like heavy metal, why write about it??

Karen Collins Rockledge, FL

UNAPPRECIATIVE GUY!

Your magazine sucks! I bought the October 1985 issue. The first page, the picture of Kevin Dubrow, should be torn out. He’s a fag! Who the hell are Bobo, Krypto, Binky, and Belfegore? You should stop those stupid cutdown jokes, too. You should also print more Slayer, Venom, Celtic Frost, and Exiter. Because this magazine sucks!

It sucks bad\

Brad DeVillez Duarte, CA

NEW FAN!

I’m writing to say that you guys should go out of business. Or at least fire your writers and editor. The only thing good about your mag is the pictures. You guys must love to put down bands. The only thing that sells your mag is the pictures. Your articles do nothing for me! Especially the little quotes you put under the pictures. Take a few lessons from Circus. They have excellent pictures, plus straightforward and great articles. You guys put down bands for nothing. Try living in their shoes once.

I bet you guys are a bunch of fat-asses who hit the bottle once you get out of bed. Stop putting down bands like Motley Crue, Ratt, W.A.S.P., Ozzy, Scorpions, Dio, etc. You guys probably don’t know the first thing about music! That dictionary of yours in the October ’85 issue sucks. Now I’ve a definition for you, OK? Assholes: the writers and editors of METAL. Stop and think for a second— what if all metal lovers made a magazine like yours and put your pictures in it, and made fun of you? How would you feel?

Ed Lehocky

Albert Lea, MN

P.S. If you don’t print this and show everyone, you are real pussies.!

BEST THING IN MAGAZINE

Oh so weary With a scary mist Come closer Look at my fist

The night is old I feel hairy

Here comes my babe His name’s Jerry He’s got bloodshot eyes A huge nose

Oh, how I like to lick his toes

He's kinda small

If you know what I mean

But his left leg is pretty keen

See him run, jump and fly

It’s alright, don’t cry

As the saying goes

It’s never too late

Maybe you can have this date.

Just a thought Detroit, Ml

CRIPES!

You should change the name of your stupid-ass magazine to S— because that’s all it is. S—. Your reporters ask the dumbest questions, like when Bobby Blotzer was being interviewed by Annene Kaye, all that bitch would ask him were questions like “what kind of car do you drive?’’ Hell! Even Blotzer was a little pissed off when he heard that she was from METAL. If Lee Aaron posed in Oui magazine, that’s her f—ing business! I’d like to see Sylvie Simmons (who interviewed Lee Aaron) pose in Oui magazine! Of course, no one would buy it! Your photography is OK, but your reporters and writers suck s—! / could even put together a better magazine than you do. Circus and Hit Parader are better rock magazines than METAL could ever be!

A SMF Friend of Twisted Sister.

Boogie, IA

CONTROVERSIAL!

I think Gary Graff doesn’t know good music from bad.

Ratt/Crue fan

Michelle McCormick

Angora, MN

TYPICAL LETTER!

I’m your average heavy metal fan. I like to chase city buses so I can inhale the smoke. I like the sound it makes when you drop a dog off a 10 story building. I also like the taste of bleach when you drink it after eating raw snakes. Thank you.

Piggy Buzz

Somewhere between LA and NY

P.S. If you print this, I’ll rent you my Grandma for a night.

BEATEN

REPEATEDLY AS CHILD!

My name is Russ Dodge. I am writing your magazine because as a rock drummer, I would like to voice my opinion of today’s rock scene. New rock has many different faces: heavy metal, rock ’n’ roll, progressive rock, and yes, even pop. I am extremely picky about music since I am a musician. I like groups such as Rush, Deep Purple, Led Zeppelin, etc., but I have an open mind to all music. I like Ratt, Motley Crue, Twisted Sister, and other newer heavy metal bands. My whole point is, there are many faces of rock and all those saying this group or that group sucks must not play music, and they must be narrow minded. I plan on making it very far in music. I know one thing. I’m gonna be playing rock music!

Russ Dodge

(address missing)