Cinderella BEFORE THE BALL!
"Look—we're in METAL magazine! Thank God! This gives us a chance to explain to our many fans just how hard it is to be in Cinderella ... and why, in fact, we're being forced to stand in front of this sign as punishment for having a bad attitude. As you readers undoubtedly have guessed, it's all the work of our wicked metal step-bands, who force us to clean out chimneys and carry amps and stuff!
The CREEM Archive presents the magazine as originally created. Digital text has been scanned from its original print format and may contain formatting quirks and inconsistencies.
Cinderella BEFORE THE BALL!
FEATURES
"Look—we're in METAL magazine! Thank God! This gives us a chance to explain to our many fans just how hard it is to be in Cinderella ... and why, in fact, we're being forced to stand in front of this sign as punishment for having a bad attitude. As you readers undoubtedly have guessed, it's all the work of our wicked metal step-bands, who force us to clean out chimneys and carry amps and stuff! Why, just look at the many odious takes we're expected to perform daily!..."
"How outrageous! Tuning Yngwie's guitar is one thing, but having to neatly bag and stack Manowar's trash is quite another!"
"yep, these drum sticks do meet Mr. Appice's high standards! Perhaps he'll reward me with a half day off next Christmas!"
"We'll have to talk fast! Furnier not only wants a see your-self shine on these guitars, but a sharp crease in the beautiful stage clothes you see here!"
"Throw that massive box of Bibles already! Stryper insists we deliver them post-haste!"
"Break time's up already?? And Ronnie James needs the ladder moved from the curb? Darn!"
"Nope, it's still not cold enough for Ozzy's taste!"
"Hope the guys in Poison approve of the polish we put to their hit disc!"
“Look! Groupies bothering Nikki just as he’s getting ready for a quiet checkers match with METAL’S own Richard Riegel! We’ll have to evict those bothersome gals!"
"The alterations on this jacket are certain to please Mr. Mustaine! Perhaps I'll get all of Christmas off!"
"Bring out the stuffing for your stage gear? Right away, Mr. Pearcy!"
"You know, I'm getting tried of our metal stepbands pushing us around! If only we could go to Prince's ball... why, that would be wonderful!"
"We'll do it! I'll make myself look as presentable as possible for the handsome Prince!"
"You readers will be relieved to know the handsome Prince simply adores we of Cinderella, and that this photo feature has a happy ending! no more slaving away for our wicked metal step-bands after all! Bless that wonderful fairy. Godmother, I should add!"
