CHAINMAIL

CHAINMAIL

CHAINMAIL is your forum ... if you have any opinions, observations, secret knowledge or simply a godlike insight into metal, we’d love to hear from you. So, to become a force to be reckoned with in metal circles everywhere, send your letters to:

CHAINMAIL, CREEM Close-Up, 7715 Sunset Blvd., Suite 202-204, Los Angeles, CA 90046.

GREAT WHITE’S “MAIL” PUN!

Concerning your review of Shot In The Dark, please forward the enclosed to your writer with our compliments.

Whilst anyone can live with intelligent criticism, the content of her piece exposed a lame brain stumbling in the dark.

We would like to point out that our shark logo should eradicate any halfbaked notions that the band harbors neofascist racism, and that we are at a total loss to find any intimation of such an attitude in the lyrical content of the songs, that the 1984 Piscopo activity only indicates that we don’t take ourselves too seriously, and that the subject matter and production qualities of our self-financed record demonstrate that we certainly take our music and friends seriously.

Whilst everyone is welcome to their opinion, “Face The Day’’ was good enough to be voted the #2 song of 1986 by KLOS, Los Angeles, and is still in recurrent rotation on a considerable number of stations nationwide.

Perhaps, along with the enclosed, you should pass your reviewer a copy of the latest Kerrang! (reviewing Great White in Bonn, Germany) and a pink slip. She would obviously be better employed confining her inanities to greeting cards and fortune cookies.

Regards,

Great White,

Los Angeles, CA

(Great White thoughtfully enclosed a glowin-the-dark dildo for Ms. Staunton-James’s edification. Our thanks on behalf of the writer. —Ed.)

ROCKER UNDAUNTED BY TRAGIC EVENT

I am writing this letter with much sorrow and anger. I am hoping to reach out to the person or persons that did this to me. On December 5th, my friends chipped in and gave me the ultimate birthday present—tickets to the Motley Crue concert and a plane ticket to California. I was to meet up with an old high school chum that I haven’t seen since I was a freshman (seven years ago). That same night all of us went out to celebrate my 24th bday. All great so far, right? When I got home someone had broken into my home and vandalized my trailer. After years of saving Motley Crue memorabilia—since they first came out—that is a lot of things, since there are over 18 magazines that serve the music world of rock and metal. All of it was taken from me in one night. And the sculpture I made of Motley Crue. I spent close to nine months making it; it stood three feet high by four feet wide and long. It was laying on my kitchen floor in a heap, broken beyond repair. I'll start over on my collecting and even a new sculpture, because NO WAY IN HELL will I stop listening to the best in music— MOTLEY CRUE.

I heartily agree with Jeffrey Morgan’s review of Queen’s new album (Feb. ’87). I also really dug the write-up about Krank, Exxplorer, Hirax and Dick Destiny done by Chuck Eddy. And I couldn’t but have a fit of the giggles over the interview with Poison by Judy Wieder. I really enjoy her work, as all of the staff. A few words of my insight to life—“Celebrate each day of your life—it’s the only one you got at the moment.” And the old, but true quote: “Don’t knock it until you try it!”

Zany Mikalson

Whitefish, MT

ONE WHO’S BEEN “THERE” APPRECIATES ROCK AGAINST DRUGS & WONDERFUL MAGAZINE PUBLICIZING SAME

I’m writing in response to your February '87 issue—R.A.D., Rock Against Drugs. I’m 16 years old and in jail, and looking at a five-year prison term because of drugs. I’m hoping R.A.D. will do well because I think using a rock idol will get through to kids. After all, who wants to listen to some old fart like Nancy Reagan talk about drugs?

A True Crue Fan

Endi, OK

AN OPINION ... OR MORE?

Yes, this letter is directed to all you bands out there. Do you know what you can do to ensure the longevity of heavy metal music? Do away with singing about the dark or black side of life. After all, isn’t that the reason there is such a heated controversy over heavy metal music? I believe you will have a wider audience if you approach music at a different light! This is not to say that your songs must center on Christianity as do songs by Stryper—although I must say Stryper is a very fine band! Their rising popularity is proof enough, don’t you think? So what do you say, guys? I guarantee you will not be disappointed!

M.K.

Fresno, CA

PMRC THANKED IN SATIRICAL STYLE

I would like to say thank you to the PMRC. You see, before I saw some of the footage from their Senate meetings I never could understand the words to Motley Crue’s “Livewire,” but after they read these lyrics aloud I can understand them perfectly. I guess maybe there should have been a warning label on that woman’s face so I could have been forewarned that she was going to say those things. Maybe she should take Vince’s place since she’s so much clearer than he is, then she could lock herself in a room and censor herself and leave the rest of us alone. Hey! Maybe that’s it, these women are all frustrated rock stars and they figure since no one wants to hear them sing then they can’t hear anyone else, either. I know! We could dress them all up and put make-up on them and hire a back-up band so they’d be happy and busy and leave us the fuck alone! Who knows, they might come up with some really wild shit; I bet Nikki Sixx and Tipper Gore could come up with some really kinky lyrics, probably make her husband happy, too, since she’d have some fun new ideas. But alas, this is just a pipe dream and we're stuck with the PMRC the way it is. Ah well, at least they told me the words to “Livewire” and I thank them for that (and only that).

D. Preble

Fostoria, OH

CONSPIRACY TO INFLUENCE POWERFUL, CIGAR-CHOMPING EDITORS CONTINUES!

My name is Tammy Nafus and I am 19 years old. The reason I am writing is I would really enjoy and appreciate it if you would start printing articles about Vinnie Vincent Invasion.

Invasion is really a hot group and I’m sure I speak for others. I am a member of the Invasion fan club and a frequent reader of your magazine. Thank you very much!

Tammy Nafus

Dallas, PA

PROMISE TO NEVER WRITE US AGAIN CHURLISHLY BROKEN!

Well, now we’re getting somewhere! Y’all are evolving into the thinking cretin’s noise-rag! About time, too! Chuck Eddy’s “black metal” article was pretty good, but he shoulda also mentioned the Chambers Brothers’ “Time Has Come Today,” which sounds like Blue Cheer with actual talent (what a concept!), and Arthur Lee, who’d be hep (not he’p) even if he never did nothin’ but “Seven And Seven Is” (punk metal when there weren’t no punk metal), and of course Bo Diddley, who was one of the first noise-guitarists and pioneered weird-looking axes. (Seems like everybody has gotta have weird guitars these days!) And Screamin’ Jay Hawkins invented horror-rock.

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As for Judy Wieder’s “theory,” well, let me put it this way: I’ve got records by the N.Y. Dolls and Alice Cooper, but I DON’T have any records by Poison or Cinderella or Motley Crue because I just plain hate their music (and everything else about ’em). What “bothers” me is the fact that all these fucking female impersonators get endless press coverage while actual real-life women who start bands are generally ignored. Don’t you think that’s kind of chauvinistic, Judy?

Damn right MTV oughtta show Blondie videos, but it should be the “Parallel Lines” stuff instead of the arty-farty “Eat To The Beat” videos. I once almost tried to jump through the TV screen during the “Hangin’ On The Telephone” clip! (MEEE-OWW!) That and the Bangles’ “Walk Like An Egyptian” (Hi, Vicki, you incredibly goddamn gorgeous gee-tar heroine, you!) are almost enough to convince this violently anti-MTV wiseguy that videos aren’t totally useless after all. But then I think of all those awful Robert Palmer zombie-women dancing to the beat of the living dead, and I get sick of videos all over again. (Robert Palmer should do an Alice Cooper medley: “I Love The Dead,” “Refrigerator Heaven” and “Woman Machine,” perhaps?) Memo to Richard Riegel: I bet Martha Quinn ain’t very, urn, “childlike” after hangin’ around creepy Stiv all this time! “Like A Virgin,” indeed, Master Bator!

Haven’t heard Zodiac Mindwarp, yet, but they look like the result of a thermonuclear food-fight beteen the Pink Fairies and the guards at Stalag 13, with Arte Johnson’s Laugh-In soldier getting caught in the cross-fire. Which is is definitely a good sign! (Maybe Zodiac is the Mick Farren of the ’80s!)

Even more miraculous, you actually put in a picture of my beloved Girlschool, sans the heretofore-obligatory slag-off caption! How about givin’ ’em a full-page photo sometime, or is that askin’ too much? (I bet Alexandra ’n’ Chuck both hate Girlschool! Did I guess right?) Anyway, thanx for keeping Lita Fudd outta this ish.

Stevie (Legalize Dilithium Crystals) Stuka, a.k.a. Mr. Vicki Peterson

Dover Beach, CA

FOURTH SENTENCE DILEMMA!

I totally agree with “A Metal Fan” who wrote in your February ’87 issue. We should listen to the music we like without being bitched at about it! Us Crue fans are not forcing people who hate the Crue to listen to their records! Are we? No, if you don’t like it don’t listen to it! If you like Metallica or Motorhead, listen to them. Complaining and bitching aren’t going to make the Crue disappear.

India McArland

Chicago, IL