BRITMETAL: Concepts, Rumors & Talk of Quiche!

BRITMETAL: Concepts, Rumors & Talk of Quiche!

Sylvie Simmons

Lawsuits, paternity suits, weddings, babies, God, the devil, even the Japanese—the whole of human life is here! Yes, laugh and cry with Britmetal as we reveal what Gary Moore has been up to with old Irishmen, what six hours of Judas Priest can do to your health, and what real men eat at thrash gigs! ... as soon as we get the fashion news out of the way. All The Right People in Britain are now carrying black leather condomholders. This metal business is catching on! Heck, even Elton John called his new record Leather Jackets and, if that wasn’t enough, played piano on Saxon’s latest, "Party Till You Puke.” Those Saxon chaps have been hanging around with some decidedly unmetal company lately, appearing with Howard Jones, Elvis Costello, Wham! and Holly of Frankie Goes To Hollywood on a worthy antiheroin benefit album called Live-In World. So much for Saxon, drugs and rock ’n’ roll ...

Gary Moore got to play guitar on the new Frankie Goes To Hollywood single, too—“Warriors Of The Wasteland.” Gary’s own single, "Over The Hills And Far Away” features some help from the ancient Irish folk group the Chieftans. On the other side’s a live version of "Out In The Fields” with the late Phil Lynott making a guest appearance, “t want it to be a musical tribute to Phil,” says Gary. "My way of saying thanks for the inspiration he gave me.”

Eric Clapton and Pink Floyd’s David Gilmour have been helping a Canadian classical guitarist, Liona Boyd, with her next album. Meanwhile, over in Paris, Phil Collen of Def Leppard has been doing some Serious Hanging Out with Mick Jagger. Mick’s been working on his next solo album (word’s out he wants Rick Rubin of Def Jam—Slayer and RunDMC’s label—to produce it) and the Lepps are there still finishing off their Pyromania follow-up—tentatively titled Hysteria—with Mutt Lange. The latest report says it should be ready by April, with a tour to follow straight after. g I

Marillion are busy working on their new album, Clutching At Straws and, yes, it’s another concept album! Oh, excuse me, “conceptually linked,’’ with lots of nice electronic effects and devices according to the big Fish.

Fish \% planning to get married next year, to a German. And Britmetal has just heard that Udo Dirkschneider of Accept is getting married. Could there be a link? Britmetal does like rumors!

And here’s a few to be getting on with: Ozzy, according to some reports, has done a Michael Schenker and cut off all his hair, sent it to his wife Sharon, and disappeared] Which is a bit funny considering they’ve been in L.A. together lately. Another—truer—report says that the parents of the young man who allegedly shot himself while listening to "Suicide Solution,” and whose case against Ozzy was thrown out of court, have hired someone from the Institute of Psychological and Physiological Effects of Sound to help them take another lawsuit out against the beleagured Osbourne. Apparently they reckon if you play Ozzy backwards at one-and-a-half times the normal speed you can hear him say "Shoot, shoot, shoot.”

And—this stuff is contagious!—Judas Priest are being sued for a 1985 incident in which two young men listened to their music for six hours straight and shot themselves in the head. One survived and is crippled, and is bringing the suit, along with the family of his dead friend. Allegedly, the "lyrics” and the "continuous beat” combined to “mesmerize” the listeners.

But there’s gotta be more rumors; how about these? Dee Snider has fired the rest of Twisted Sister! The truth as it stands so far is that drummer A. J. Pero has left to rejoin his old band, Cities. And Jay Jay French has been producing new band Reckless whie waiting for the next Twisted album.

There’s rumors that David Coverdale of Whltesnake is about to fire guitarist John Sykes. Not to mention the rumors that the Firm is finished, with Jimmy Page and Paul Rodgers working on solo albums. And Britmetal’s favorite rumor: that Stryper challenged Slayer to do a “Heaven Or Hell” tour with them—a challenge Slayer declined, reckoning their fans would cause the Bible-throwers grievous bodily harm. And finally, rumors that Yngwie Malmsteen wouldn’t accept the opening slot on the sold-out Bon Jovi tour because the headliner’s “equipment" wouldn’t give him room to “create” ...

A bit of creative journalism from an English rock writer who couldn’t get an interview with the popular Jon Bon Jovi: the enterprising chap hid in a cubicle in the toilet at a restaurant where Bon Jovi were having their end-of-tour party, and, when Jon came in, started asking questions over the dividing wall!

Europe—the first Swedish band to have a #1 in Britain since Abba, for chrissakes!—celebrated their success by going to the only imitation-British pub in Stockholm and having a pint of imitation-British beer.

Meanwhile, Vow Wow—Japan’s second-biggest metal band—has moved to London, rock, stock and barrel, as part of a master plan to break big world-wide. They’re going to release a compilation in the States of the best songs from their last three albums, and look like touring your way supporting a major—but as yet unnamed-band, and record a new album here in the summer.

From Vow Wow to W.O.W. (how does Britmetai do it!) who’s done a Marillion, soft-of, and recorded a concept album called Maggots, The Record: The Wendy O. Williams/Plasmatics Ninth Anniversary Album. Expect guest stars and vinyl gore aplenty. No plans to turn it into a movie. But Thor—sorry, Jon Mikl Thor, MultiMedia Star, as he now wishes to be known—has landed the role of a monster in his second film, Zombie Nightmare.

Motorhead—thanks to pressure from their 100,000-strong Motorheadbangers fan club, supposedly the biggest in the world—have released a triple album’s worth of oldies including “Motorhead,” “Killed By Death,” and “White Line Fever” (or “White Wine Fever,” as the record company, Legacy, misspelt it! If you think that’s bad, at a Vol Vod/Possessed/English Dogs thrash gig in London last week, the bar served quiche!!!), 17 tracks, but only on—gulp—compact disci Still, Queen have gone one-up (actually 13-up) and put out their entire back catalog on CD.

But is that the patter of tiny heads that Britmetai hears? Yes, Phil Campbell of Motorhead just had a baby son!

Kim McAuliffe of Girlschool is more interested in baby bats. Such an expert has she become on the night-life of the little furry critters that she’s been appointed to the committee of the London Bat Watcher’s Society.

And finally, over to Scotland, where a Serious Metal Animal is refusing to go on. Alice Cooper almost cancelled his Glasgow gig when his snake went into hibernation and refused to wake up for the performance. The day was saved by psychedelic support group, Dr. & The Medics’ two girl backing singers, who went at the snake with their hairdryers until they warmed it back to life. Asp and you shall receive, says Britmetai. See you next month.