VIDEO VIDEO

VIDEO VIDEO

THE YEAR IN REWIND

Billy Altman

Although this new issue of CREEM is probably dated May or June, please believe us that through the magic of real time, it is really early January as we sit here, writing the first Video Video column of the new year. And, as such, it behooves us to take a step back from the fray so as to reflect upon the video annum just concluded. Can we sum up all of our rock video experiences for 1086 in just one page of a magazine and still do the medium any ■stice? Well, considering how bad most of the videos were last yfar, we probably can sum just ajx>ut everything up in one Hmple word—namely, B-O-R-lNj-G—but we do still wish to give ■e medium the justice it so richly deserves. Which means, ot course, that it’s time to roll out ■e list of (fanfare, maestro) Video Video Achievement Awards for 1986. The satellite d sh, please!

■ MOST INTERESTING USE ■F A BAND IN A VIDEO: The

Replacements, “Bastards of Young.”

■ MOST INTERESTING USE |0F AN ANIMAL IN A VIDEO:

A ive—Jane Siberry, for the cow

■ “One More Colour”; Dead— Peter Gabriel, for the dancing chickens in “Sledgehammer.”

■ The FOLLOW THE BOUNCING BALL AWARD: R.E.M., “Fall On Me.”

■ The FOLLOW THE BOUNCING BALLS AWARD: David Lee F^oth, “Yankee Rose.”

■ The ANNUAL ROLLING ■TONES OVER THE HILL

AWARD: The Rolling Stones, ■Harlem Shuffle.”

■ The ANNUAL ELTON JOHN ■EAD COVERING AWARD: ■ne fez in “Nikita.”

1 The ANNUAL ANN WILSON BODY COVERING AWARD: The toga in “Nothing At All.”

The SEXISM IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER AWARD:

The Fabulous Thunderbirds, “Wrap It Up.”

The FETISHISM IS IN THE MIND OF THE BEHOLDER AWARD: Robert Palmer, “Addicted To Love.”

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: The BoDeans, for five minutes of eye strain in “Fadeaway.”

BEST TECHNICAL ACHIEVEMENT: Samantha Fox’s jeans in “Touch Me.”

BEST CONCEPT: Whoever thought up the army of Anguses in AC/DC’s “Who Made Who.”

BEST DIRECTION: Styx, for finally breaking up.

BEST CHOREOGRAPHY: Bobcat Goldthwaite with The Pointer Sisters, “Twist My Arm.”

BEST SPECIAL EFFECTS: The open-faced dress worn by the girl in Steve Winwood’s “Higher Love.”

BEST ORIGINAL PLOTLINE: Madonna, “Open Your Heart.”

BEST RE-ISSUE: John Steed in The Pretenders’ “Don’t Get Me Wrong.”

BEST VIDEOS: “Addicted To Love,” Robert Palmer; ‘‘Sledgehammer,” Peter Gabriel; “How Can the Laboring Man Find Time For SelfCulture,” Martini Ranch; “One More Colour,” Jane Siberry; “Living With A Hernia,” “Weird” Al Yankovich.

To all this year’s winners, a hearty salute for a job well done. And to all those artists who might have escaped—don’t worry. We’ll get you next day.

SNAP SHOTS

And The Geek Shall InherB The Earth: Killer Dwarfs, “Keep The Spirit Alive”—Frankly, I don’t see how this band caB miss: their lead singer looks like a cross between Ozzy and Alice and sounds like a cross between Geddy Lee and the twerp froiB Supertramp. Not only that, buB once he climbs out of the “It’S Alive” crate that he spends most of the video locked inside of, he starts doing these bizarro head stands that call to mind vintage Joe Cocker—that is, if Joe had ever performed upside dowrB Remember, you heard it here first ....

Are We Saying That “OuB Secret” Smells Exactly Like!# “Giorgio”? We’ll Let You Be The Judge: Rob JungklasB “Make It Mean Something”—I dunno; somehow, the idea call watching a guy who is neither particularly attractive nor inteiB esting-looking singing a song that is neither particularly welB crafted nor interesting-sounding, simply because the performeM has mastered many of Bruce Springsteen’s vocal manneiB isms, does not appeal to me. Then again, Regina did make the Top 10, so what do I know? Not much, I guess, except thsB if this trend continues, eitheB Richard T. Bear or D.L. Byron, or both, will probably once agaiB have record contracts before you know it. At least they were doing it before Bruce got hurrS ongous. And, honestly, isn’t ■ about time for a Roderick FaB coner revival?

Shoot First, Floss Later: Ne«B Model Army, “51st State”—■ tell you, these gung ho BritisB political bands are finally getting to the root of it all—root canal, that is. Actual lyric from this song about Yankee imperialism: “We know how to clean our teeth and how to strip down a gun.” This coming from the mouth of a guj|| with a dental gap you could drivljj a truck through. Which reminds me—Where is that Pogues video?

GIRL HAPPY!

VARIOUS ARTISTS Women In Rock (MCA Home Video)

by Bill Holdship

■ See, I’m used to this kind I c§ stuff. I was going to college Jj and working at a student 11 newspaper right when I pre-Reagan feminist thought I was probably at its zenith. ■ If often reached some absurd extremes, what with every other class resembling “Feminism 1101: Why Men Suck,” and Homen snarling at you because H>u held a door open for them, even though you generally hold Hoors open for all living creaHires, be it woman, man or animal. And then there was the totally ridiculous, including the fflkmpus organization that called itself “Wimm/n” because they c§dn’t want to be associated in ainy way with the word “men,” Sind the “No Baby” party some df the more militant newspaper staffers held after their unofficial leader (who regularly wore a -‘Wonder Woman” T-shirt to Hork) had a tubal ligation. But, Hey, my two college girlfriends Here both diehard feminists, so live actually read Marilyn Hrench, Susan Brownmiller, Small Changes, Germaine Hreer, Erica Jong and stuff like Hiat. I believe I genuinely like Homen, and kinda feel bad ’eause this review will undoubtedly offend a few of them. I think a woman (Ann Beattie) wrote one of the greatest novels (Chilly Hcenes Of Winter) of the 1970s. ■And I think women have made spme great contributions to rock ’f roll. A woman (Jackie DeShannon) wrote one of the most |j|onderful songs to come out of we whole British Invasion (JWhen You Walk In The Room”), and I probably wouldn’t Hade my copy of the Toys’ “Lovers’ Concerto” for any other jBIcord on this earth. Nine times Hut of ten, I’d choose the Shangri-Las over the Sex Pistols. And, basically, that’s why I think this video sucks.

It sure doesn’t deliver what it promises. “Celebrate the history of rock ’n’ roll ... and the women who made it happen” read the liner notes. But nowhere on this video will you find what made the Toys, the Shangri-Las or Jackie DeShannon’s songwriting so special. Nowhere will you hear about the contributions made by Patsy Cline and Wanda Jackson. Or even Melanie Safka, Cass Elliot, Petula Clark, the Supremes and Joni Mitchell, for that matter. Which is a shame because classic rock footage is what you might expect from producer-director Stephanie Bennett, who was also involved with the terrific Rock And Roll: The Early Days and British Rock: The First Wave videos. Women In Rock is essentially a biased feminist tract instead of a much-needed history of rock ’n’ roll women. And because there is such a bizarre, heavyhanded editorial slant presented here, Women In Rock strikes me as the worst kind of feminist tract—and just bad politics in general.

OK, granted, men have often been jerks over the years. Historically speaking, women have been oppressed. And women (particularly black women) have suffered in the music business. But a lot of black men suffered in the early days of the music biz as well (just talk to some of those old blues dudes), and sometimes this video gets so heavyhanded, one can’t help thinking that “she doth protest too much.” Interestingly, the video never comes close to addressing a major issue here, namely: why does rock ’n’ roll have yet to produce a woman artist as great as some of the all-time male greats (and, on a more ironic note, why have a select few of these male greats tried their damndest to look like women? But that’s a whole other video ...).

Beyond the sloppy editing (quotes are out of context; juxtapositions often don’t make sense—other than to illustrate what dicks we men have been), some of this is just downright stupid. For instance, many of the women complain that they’ve been forced to sell sex onstage: Tina Turner says that Ike more or less forced her; Pat Benatar says her first video director told her to “shake that butt.” Yet, neither point out that they continue to sell sex (Tina’s been free of Ike for a long time; we see Benatar in a much-later video still doing the same schtick). All of which is fine—Elvis, Jagger and other male performers sold sex for years—but why are these women whining about it? The same goes for Rosanne Cash who complains that, at the age of 30, “I still get asked about my dad.” Well, I mean, what does she expect? Her dad is Johnny Cash. (I’m sure Julian and Dweezil get asked about their dads as well.)

Other stupid moments? The Go-Gos are compared to the Shangri-Las (he’pl).After looking at how women “destroyed” themselves in the ’60s, Carole King offers that “the ’60s are still alive,” and we immediately see a video of ... Ms. Stevie Nicks (?!). Linda Ronstadt commits the video’s ultimate faux pas when she says she got into music because “I can’t type.” (Why not a joke about Dolly Parton getting her feet wet?) Worst (and most nauseating) of all is a brief segment featuring Alannah Currie in which the Thompson Twin sits on a bus, literally sobbing and moaning that life on the road is “just too much work. Someone’s got the schedule all mixed up, and we only got four hours of sleep last night.” Sorry, AlaH nah, but life on the road is tough for everyone (we’re speaking relatively here)—and pardon me if I don’t feel a lot of sympathH Considering the financial compensation and the mass adulation that goes with it when yep reach the league of the Thompson Twins, we’re not exactly talking the life of a cleaning woman or even the 9-to-5 grind here.

Finally, it should be noted that Madonna is portrayed in a rather negative light twice in the video, presumably because she also sells sex—but has been veH successful at it. Now, look, I’Ve never been a cheerleader fH Madonna, but there’s a strantfje dichotomy at work here. It re-' minds me of those old days at the student newspaper when I ’d get in arguments with members of the campus “Women Against Pornography” (greetings, M|9| Gore?) regarding porno filr$| maker Gail Palmer. Since Palmer chooses to make porno films—and is highly successful at it in a man’s world (“exploiting” women is beside the poirH I feel porno exploits all, regardless of sex)—isn’t this frqedoH essentially what feminism is su|#| posed to be all about? So sino^i Madonna chooses to be the way she is and is very successful in a male-dominated profession why is she frowned upon in a feminist-oriented video?

Women In Rock features a fdij| interesting clips (a 14-year-oH Brenda Lee; a very young Aretha singing “Respect” at break-neck speed; Ike & Tina doing “River Deep, Mountain High”), but these are too f^B and far between. Probably the best clip here, (at least in this context) is a too-brief snippet of Patti Smith performing “Redondo Beach” during her prime.

It alone reminded me of why, along with (to a lesser extent) Chrissie Hynde, Patti is probatH the greatest female rocker the genre has yet produced. Bop Patti and Chrissie are pretty ter-

TURN TO PAGE 57

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 64

rific performers, but what makes them even more unique is that neither have ever made any apologies for being women. In other words, Patti Smith always classified herself as a rock ’n’ roller, not a woman rock ’n’ roller. And when you see her proclaiming “I am an artist (she’s one of the few from either sex who could ever get away with such a statement)... and I don’t give a shit” in this video, you’re reminded that she was genuinely rock ’n’ roll “crazy” in the same sense that Little Richard, Jim Morrison, Iggy Pop and a host of other rock ’n’ roll greats were genuinely “crazy.” As a result, she could hold her own with the best of them.

So if you really want to hear about women in rock, maybe you should try listening to Horses. Quite honestly, I think it portrays feminism in action better than the whole of this tape.