BRIT BUZZ

BRIT BUZZ

Sylvie Simmons

It’s a tough life in today’s pop world. You never know when you’re going to come across Belgians or would-be assassins, and guns, machetes and Ninja weapons make such an unsightly bulge in a man’s black leather skirt. So Depeche Mode’s Martin (oh, what a nice name!) Gore has been learning a few usefully deadly chops from his bodyguard, colossal Andre. Colossal Andre used to train U.S. Marines on their way to Vietnam before growing a Mohawk and following young men in leather skirts around, so he knows about this sort of thing. For all you Soldiers of Fortune readers who picked up this fab ROCKSHOTS by mistake, here’s the new designer death-blow: a direct zap to the middle face region, pushing the nosebone into the brain. Death follows in three seconds. Steve Perry and Barry Manilow, of course, might take a little longer.

Paul Young’s girlfriend Stacey Smith preferred the more civilized Queen Boxing Rules when she got into a fistfight with Rolling Stone Ronnie

Wood’s ex-wife Krissy at a trendy London pizza parlor. Krissy, who’d been hitting the bottle first to warm up, started saying very rude things about very nice Paul, and wouldn’t stop until Stacey thumped her one.

Paul Young, Paul Rutherford, all sorts of people named Paul, and even George Michael have all shaved off their facial hair, Brit Fuzz, I mean Buzz, is overwhelmed to announce. Perhaps they’re going to charitably send it to the Kevin DuBrow/Don Dokken hair extension clinic in L.A. It wouldn’t surprise me what with the amount of charitable things they’ve been doing lately—Paul expecially. Not only is he going to appear onstage with Wham! at their big farewell bash, he’s gotten involved in the fine organization, Artists Against Apartheid— as should you\ They’re recording a special version of Jerry Dammer’s (exSpecials) song “Free Nelson Mandela,” just for the U.S. market and there’ll be a series of benefit shows. Also involved are Simon Le Bon, Dire Straits, Paul Weller & Style Council, Elvis Costello, Scritti Politti, the Pet Shop Boys and Sade. Yup, Sade will be there, in spite of reports in a French magazine that she’d just died of a heroin overdose! Sade laughs those stories off, she told us, although she’s none too pleased about the newspapers telling whoppers about her love life.

Can’t tell you anything about George Michael’s love life, but I can tell you a teensy bit about his night life—been enjoying a lot of it in the States these past few months, by all accounts. Except his own. He says the U.S. night clubs were boring, and he’s glad to be home. So how come he only managed to record one backing track while he was in America? Sitting at home knitting?

From knitting to splitting, which is what the Thompson Twins have done. Or—if you want the real exact concrete and precise truth of the matter—Joe Leeway has quit the band after nearly six years and flown off to L.A. to think things out. The band’s official statement quoted Joe as saying, “My decision comes after much thought and heartsearching, which led me to the realization that to tap my creative resources more fully I would have to put myself into a solo career.” Tom Bailey and Alannah Currie will carry on as a twosome. “Of course we’ll miss Joe,” said Tom, adding that the split was “really friendly” and they’re “very excited” about the future. It’s got to be better than the past has been—they had to cancel a tour last year when Tom collapsed from exhaustion, and behind-the-scenes problems put off a British tour this year. They’re still trying to record that special album we told you about that they promised to send to fans who bought tickets for those last cancelled shows.

But all this pales beside stories of a Duran Duran split! Nice guy Roger Taylor has announced that he’s leaving the band and taking “an indefinite sabbatical.” After five years in the group, he says he’s “suffering from mental and physical exhaustion” and wants to fulfill his “lifelong ambition of running a farm.” He’s just bought a patch of land in England and is going to plough the fields and scatter until he feels up to kicking his replacement, Steve Ferrone, off the drum seat and getting to work.

Did you know Susanna Hoffs of the Bangles’ mom & dad have just moved next door to Madonna and Sean Penn in Malibu? Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Hoffs! Don’t forget to send ROCK-SHOTS the gossip first! No pay, but lots of free plugs for Sussanna! Like this quote from No. 1: “I had a couple of boyfriends in high school, but I wasn’t doing anything racy.” Which is more than can be said for your neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. H. And those naughty nude pictures Madonna did way back have turned up again\ A men’s magazine was going on about having color nude shots of the singer inside this time, when any budding art student could tell it was those bad old black-and-whites once again, colored in!

Sheila E doesn’t have clothes troubles. When she popped into London for some interviews the other day, she confessed she was wearing a pair of Prince’s pants! And what was pal-ofBangles (you see how many mentions we can give them if you’ll co-operate, Mr. and Mrs. H?) wearing while all this was going on? Well, they “frequently exchange clothes.” Hmm...

Bryan Adams is still dating daughterof-movie-director-Ken, Vicky Russell. But he still didn’t do the theme tune to that Ramboesque movie Top Gun—all to do with the Libyan business, I gather. No Libyan could stop Mick Jagger and Daryl Hall from doing a tune for a Disney movie, though.

David Bowie’s doing a video—makes a change from a movie—for his new single, "Underground." It’s being shot in Paris with A-Ha’s talented video director, Steve Barron.

And A-Ha have been scooting around London electrocuting their fans, according to one newspaper report! A supposed "friend” of Mort Harket told The Mirror how the band deals with overenthusiastic fans. "As soon as the boys are in the limousine, the doors are locked and an electric charge is sent through the door handles.” If you grab it you get zapped with "a small charge of electricity. Not enough to do any damage,” you’ll be glad to hear, "but it certainly keeps the fans at bay.” Electrocuting them, bashing their nose bones into their brain...what next, we wonder?

Still, pop stars get injured too. This month’s Most Stupid Way To Get Out Of A Tour Bus award goes to Qlenn Gregory of Heaven 17, who tried to jump out while his foot was stuck under the clutch pedal. Glenn also limped away with our Most Stupid Way To Sit In A Tour Bus award for having his foot under the pedal in the first place.

Another of those pesky tour buses wreaked havoc on Suzanne Vega over here. Someone broke into the bus on the ferry over to Denmark, stealing clothes, equipment and the keys (a bit pointless, what with it being tough driving a bus on the ocean waves, but back to the story). Seeing as they couldn’t drive the bus off at the other end, the Captain let them sleep on the ferry until the locksmith arrived. The great Dane stuck some fancy electrical lock-breaking equipment into the bus, something short-circuited and the bus caught fire, burning the rest of the stuff that wasn’t stolen!

Those darned thieves have been busy lately. One broke into Roland Orzabal of Tears For Fears’ house—again!— and stole three cameras and some paintings.

Maybe someone’ll do a benefit for him—there’s still a lot of the things going on. Bruce Springsteen is talking about bringing his Jersey boys over for some charity shows, and stars are being lined up for a big Peace Aid show in the Autumn. Like Live Aid, it should be transmitted around the world via satellite, and even the Soviet Union’s talking about joining in. Paul McCartney and Phil Collins have already volunteered for the job.

Phil’s not going to be doing any more solo stuff until 1988, according to a spokesman. For one thing, this Genesis tour is going to take them well into ’87. The same old spokesman insists this is not a farewell tour for the band, either.

Julian Lennon’s first British and European tour didn’t get very far. All except one date were cancelled due to “unforseen technical difficulties.” But nothing could keep Elton John from shooting off around the world, once he learned that Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher’s daughter Carol was after him, trying to get him to let her write his biography!

Chrissie Hynde has been out on the road with hubbie’s band Simple Minds, sitting backstage and writing new songs for the next Pretenders album. Simple Minds are going to be doing a huge televised show from Scotland this summer to open the Commonwealth Games.

Chrissie’s old pals UB40 are doing their bit for British sport by sponsoring a rallycar driver in a round-the-world race—he’s an old friend of the band. His old friends at ROCK-SHOTS warn him not to drink the water, or he’ll wind up with some horrible amoebic bug like poor Boy George...!