LETTERS

LETTERS

Please send your letters to: Mail Dept., CREEM Magazine P.O. Box P-1064

Birmingham, MI 48012,

LET THE SHAME BE OURS!

I think I can freely say that your magazine lacks any guts or chutzpah whatsoever, Your self-proclaimed title of "America's Only Rock 'n' Roll Magazine" is a big lie. It should be changed to “America’s Only Magazine That Mixes Wave Groups and Groups That Hi and Electron id' Druitts^

It wouldn’t d me as much if your magazfrisftaidr&ji st changed itsl format. But y$$lgf|£.|j y and get the people who (HSHfH Roll and the Wavers. I’m fere can’t be a mix, but I don’t think you’re pleasingl either side or the people who like both.| ■ The oest. You have ^taromc^olcf writers.. ;Vou^aptions] were hilariou^pnd they still are). In fact, I think that yo&^caiitiohSIto the pictures are the highlphfr,ffl:.ypujmag. Let me| summarize. >cu e talent, but ard anything.

Darin John^^H Carnation, WA

P.S.: If you do print this, don’t put one of tho^cute^y.'fe^terfe'remaff® utytait. (Pfeb you do want more Goveragjpjof cows?—Ed)

emgmmmnmmi MNICK

My name is Mic|ra^i arp a. Ltbrary Assistant for the A!? branch. We are responsible for providing library service to approximately 3,000 innjHiy^y^y^y^^iy^g^ions in j Alameda County, California Our service is the 6nly chanrief whicri the inmates receiv^JHHH| materials. Unfortunately, we have en limited budget to buy magazines’fef in-1 ■nates. Although we do punpjiassfe^M number of CISEEM, the den nP^i^^^reatly outweigfj to meet the need. As a result, many of our patrons must do without their favorite magazjo^MHHMMHb^

Fo remedy t|Ws situation,apqgali M^ffedmectlv to seeTBnw^fr ment can be maoe to provide us with as many multiple subscriptions as can be donated in order to meet the .iiimate needs Obe.free subscription periristlfutioWwould be extremely helpful:.'

If iti^nWPPw®*8MPPRffl^Drovide us with these free subscriptions, I would like to suggest a couple of alternatives. Perhaps you would send us back issues of your magazine, as the inmates are grateful for any copies they may receive. Another possibility would be to inform your readers of our predicament and ask them to send us any of their own old copies. If none of these possibilities are feasible, we would appreciate any other suggestions as to how we can provide CREEM magazines to your readers behind bars.

Michael Welmond Hayward, CA

EVER: THE CONCEPT I just want to say that Jimmy Page is looking more and more like Curt Kirkwood of the Meat Puppets. Also, I agree with anything any male ever said about Susanna Hoffs!

Eric Searleman Tempe, AZ

HUMOR-FILLED CAPTION TAKEN TO TASK!

How dare you write, “Quick, throw me a Satanic bible” under a Jimmy Page picture? Hasn’t Page taken enough shit from the press? When Jimmy finally starts to come out of his closet, you sarcastic animals go and push him back in it. I hope he never, ever gives your magazine an interview, and being the sweetheart he is, he probably won’t! Nanci & Melissa Boston, MA

EDITORIAL OMNISCIENCE RIGHTFULLY IMPLIED!

John Mendelssohn’s review of rock magazines (July ’86) was absolutely marvelous! It was the most well-written, witty and surprisingly objective article that this young soul has had the pleasure of reading in the pages of CREEM. I especially liked the poster advertisement, stuck in between the pages of Mendelssohn’s scathing review of such metal rags as Hit Parader and Circus, featuring such Mendelssohn favorites as W.A.S.P., Ron Jim Dio and Iron Maiden. Of course, those greasy haired kids at the mall do get an allowance and the editors of CREEM know this...

Nonetheless, CREEM and Musician are the two best rock ’n’ roll mags for my money, and until you start running ads for New Maxi Thins, I’ll continue to read CREEM.

Bill Brennan

Dearborn, Ml

HEMINGWAY SUCCESSFULLY DISTILLED!

Despite the insulting and surly-shrill tone of this letter, it is not meant to be a scatterbrain-sophisticate equivalent of the kind of letters nascent scumfilth heavy-metalers traditionally send CREEM magazine. Ira Robbins exposes himself as having the depth of feeling of a tapeworm by dismissing the music of X an appalling noise, and by promoting the current batch of underground bands emanating out of L.A. I can denote a predilection for the tritest emotional turbulances music can produce, music composition that is intricate but significantly unimpartive, and an intellectualization of the trivialities in Mr. Robbins because of the reviews he writes. Mr. Robbins, if you are a nihilist, relativist, or nominalist, closet or otherwise, then why don’t you pleasure yourself doing something more basely sensual than degrading music criticism?

John Mendelssohn’s Eleganza column would be an exercise in futility even if he wrote entertainingly about the subject of fashion. If Mendelssohn wished to answer this charge he could write a good article about fashion’s importance to the whoie of our culture, or at least of any healthy culture. This same critic is also responsible for an article about contemporary rock magazines, writing only about what is good or bad about them, and nothing of what is conspicuously absent from them. I guess idealism and fashion just don’t mix, ironithankfully. The article itself was an example of what is missing from the rock magazines. Both are euphpoofer (euphimism: fags), give no coverage (with the exception of Spin) to obscure bands, and pander to and debase their audience by being so nice. If all that was good in these magazines was all that was printed within them, then they would be mostly blank pages with

little dabs of text strewn throughout.

Symptomatic of the quality of rock magazines was Dave DiMartino’s “interview” with Charlie “The Nerd” Sexton, in which DiMartino asks nothing but polite questions, gives nothing but polite printed responses to Sexton’s answers, and snubs his nose at any of the bases for Sexton’s controversy. Did DiMartino grow up hyper-metabollically the last three years from infant to adulthood, watching MTV continuously, while bathed in a saline solution? This*might acount for some of his sensibilities.

Even more inanities galore in your magazine alone. Furthermore, you people seem intent on proving my theory about God as a cosmic phallus, and the purpose of the universe being universal suction. Your magazine sucks, causing your readers to suck, causing the music industry to suck, causing the music your magazine ends up sucking up to. God!! Good criticism inspires people, makes them think, concerned, wonder, feel, and therefore understand and exist. “I like this and so do millions of other people so keep your ‘opinions’ to the contrary to yourself.” Well, I guess the proper conditions could be created where millions of people like to do what I do,

which includes beheading sets of 20 sixmonth old babies, stuffing their bodies into a plastic garbage bag, poking a few holes in the bottom of the bag, and letting the blood run out to fertilize my front lawn. Is this “good” or “right?” This kind of thoughtless nihilistic attitude is what the rock magazines foster, by evidence of the letters you print.

To reverse CREEM’s rancidness you should pay more attention to the magma and the lava, quit with the miasma, get back to the capacious, do away with the vivacious and vacuous, and stop this amelioration of the enervation, but make expiation for all of the attenuation. The only great music produced since 1970 has been by the Gun Club, very early Ramones, early X, middle, or maybe early Husker Du and Joy Division. Give the credit where the credit will do. Torquamaligula Rex San Bernadino, CA

“UP” REDEFINED!

What is the income of a journalist who writes for rock magazines and what’s the income of an editor? Do journalists move up to become editors?

Darren McFadden San Francisco, CA

STUNNING REBUTTAL NECESSITATES REVISION OF ENGLISH LANGUAGE! While reading a friend’s issue of CREEM (I certainly wouldn’t buy it), I came across a video review by one Dave DiMartino, who has quite a bit of nerve to sign his name to such an ignorant article. Tho video I refer to is Iron Maiden’s Behind The Iron Curtain. Dave, you are the one who is ‘‘mind-bogglingly dumb.” You say “the band is shown playing too much.” That sentence alone revealed to me your unbelievable stupidity. The reason a person buys a video of a band is to see them performing. What did you expect them to show, scenes of Polish history?

You said, “Bruce Dickinson, whose leotards make him look something of a sissy.” How catty of you, Dave. I, for one, find him to look nothing like a sissy, and I’m sure most will agree. Jeez, you must be a real man, Dave. You say, “I suppose it’s a blessing in disguise that the lyrics are indecipherable most of the time.” You suppose is right. If you ever really took the time to read their lyrics to their songs you would realize that Steve Harris (the bass player, just so you don’t have to ask someone) is one of the best songwriters around. “He (Bruce Dickinson) has no business singing in any band whatsoever. He’s no good.” I say you’re fucked.

Beth Dunn Milwaukee, Wl