The system of law in New Guinea involves a concept loosely defined as “payback,” which means if one village has wronged another, that village is dutybound to extract revenge. Once that indiscretion has been avenged, the entire cycle starts all over, the back and forth skirmishing fueled by the fact each tribe speaks an entirely different language.

As Bwana David Lee Roth explains this law of the jungle, I immediately focus on how accurately it reflects the current feud ongoing between the lead singer and his ex-mates in Van Halen. In the weeks leading up to the release of his own solo effort, Eat ’Em And Smile, the media heats up with the success story of his former band, chortling over Diamond Dave’s misfortunes and expressing their relief about being rid of his overbearing presence and media manipulation.

If the effervescent toastmaster general of rock has been affected by the barbs, he’s certainly not letting on. Preening and fluffing his hair, he greets me in the Sunset Boulevard headquarters he shares with partner/video collaborator Pete Angelus wearing his full stage costume, including his patented, skintight spandex pants. His new band-lead guitarist Steve Vai, bassist Billy Sheehan and drummer Gregg Bissonette—is a fullthrottle rock ’n’ roll outfit designed to show all of Dave’s Van Halen fans he doesn’t intend to merely play the gigolo. In fact, when he places the needle on the LP’s first track, “Shyboy,” a torrent of insane metallic guitar blasts announces that a new axe hero is about to be born in the highly-touted Vai, who played on the recent PiL album and starred as the devil challenging Ralph Macchio in the Walter Hill film Crossroads.

“I stumbled into Steve Vai about 60 days after The Big Guitar Search’ started,” explains Roth about his new collaborator. “I know I can work with anybody, but finding the ultimate rock band I figured would be a difficult task. I went after Billy Sheehan first. He’s a white tiger. You don’t recognize at first what you’re looking at when you see one. Same thing with his work on the record. You’re not immediately aware of what you’re listening to. There’s a lot of action in the bass and that gives the music layers. Plug in the ole Walkman and the CD and you’ll be amazed at what’s going on beneath the surface. Then, I listened to records of different guitar players, and I just thought Steve had the most potential.”

Talking about the similarities between his new outfit and vintage Van Halen, Dave flashes some of his famed modesty. “I was responsible for a great deal of Van Halen’s sound,” he boasts. “That kind of rock ’n’ roll is my driving wheel. So, you’ll hear elements of this record which sound like great, old Van Halen. You can hear the difference in the band since I’ve been gone. Which is not to say it’s any better or worse, but it is different. What people will hear out of this is what sold the old Van Halen, and is nowhere to be found in the new Van Halen. They’ve taken their approach, God bless, but my heart was always in the same place. I’ve just got my money where my yap is now.”

The unflappable one even insists he wasn’t too surprised at the commercial success his old band experienced without him.

“Van Halen’s been hammering away at this for many years,” he says. “The name has come to symbolize more than just a type of music. People were curious how the new band would sound and you can’t detract from Edward’s guitarplaying. They accomplished what they set out to do, which was make a #1 record. It’s a different kind of music, though. Perfectly acceptable, but it’s not what I want to play for a living.”

Dave gets on a roll when he’s asked about the in-concert antics of his replacement, Sammy Hagar. “What kind of person draws a sign that says, ‘Screw David Lee Roth’ and carries it from show to show to hold up in front of the audience? Many of you have already seen that sign. It’s in orange magic marker. He doesn’t open up any of the other signs unless he’s sure they say ‘Screw David Lee Roth,’ because I understand, earlier in the tour, he opened one up that said, ‘Where’s Dave?”’

“David Lee Roth: Big* Enough For Two Rands, America!”

Roth also noticed how in the Rolling Stone cover story on the band, they spent more time bad-mouthing him than they did talking about themselves.”

“I guess I’m still the frontman,” he laughs with an infectious guffaw that sounds a little too boisterous. ‘‘David Lee Roth: Big Enough For Two Bands, America!!”

Confronted with the article’s implication that Van Halen’s following has abandoned him, he suddenly warms to the task. ‘‘I take the football approach,” he smiles. “When it seems to be getting darkest, I go, ‘Men, we’re just gonna outwork they ass!!’ ”

In fact, Roth insists the band split occurred mainly because he wanted to work while the rest of the group preferred staying in bed. But his competitive fires have been stoked, with a summer-long blitz, including the release of the new album and a world-wide tour commencing in August.

“I can understand how the Van Halens would be pissed, he admits. “Whenever you have a big, ugly divorce, there’s hurt feelings. On the other hand, Sammy’s angry because he knows I’m better than he is.”

Dave denies he ever woke the others up in the middle of the night to go rollerskating, but he does cop to the fact he insisted the wives be nowhere in sight when Life magazine showed up to do a piece on the band.

“I was tired of the boys fighting with their wives, not talking to the press and then making up with their wives and refusing to come out of the bedroom for two days,” he says. “They’d always blame that on me because I had that romping, crazy image. Fact is, when one of the wives wanted to know why they couldn’t come, they’d always go, ‘Dave won’t let ya.’ I was the bad guy.”

Is he anti-marriage?

“That’s a lot of bullshit coming through clenched teeth and squinted eyes,” he claims. “I guess I’m just a case of arrested development. I skipped a groove when I was 15 and it’s been repeating ever since. I may get married one day. If I fall in love, I’ll be the first one to stand up and say, this is it. But it hasn’t happened yet. And now it’s time for the road again—and maintaining some kind of relationship over the telephone is ridiculous. You’re asking for trouble with that.”

Actually, the only time the effervescent Roth shows any sign of introspection is when he’s asked about his own family. The flamboyant clown prince of metal refuses to show you the Dave behind the mask— what you see of the media-sawy, larger-than-life rock star is what you get.

“Well, there are elements you’re not going to read about in the press,” he agrees. “When you put on a show, it’s a big magic trick. And the audience will always scream to see the mirrors and wires. They just want to know how you did the trick. If you show ’em that, you’re out of business. If I’m guilty of any sin, it’s the sin of omission. I’m not lying when I tell you something, it’s what I don’t tell you. I mean, who wants to hear about the hard work, the slaving in the studio and the political problems you have to go through? You can read about that in every other interview in this magazine.” (Heee!—Ed.)

Dave also insists he has no problems maintaining his antic, party-hearty image, mostly because that person is really him.

‘‘It all comes right from my very own mouth and heart,” he says. ‘‘I’m not a prisoner of any persona. I do all the talkin’ and I think I express myself pretty clearly. It’s not like I’m trying to make you think something, although I do remember one of my uncles once telling me, ‘Dave, the key to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made!”’

Commenting on whether his new outfit will be a band in the Van Halen mode, or merely a back-up assemblage, Roth is most adamant. ‘‘I see it as a team,” he says. ‘‘And as long as I’m in the backfield somewhere, I’m happy...as long as I get to handle the ball at least every third play. You hear these guys represented. You see them in the video quite liberally. These are constant characters. I’m best when I have somebody to bounce ideas off of, somebody to argue with.”

Asked about comparisons with his old group, who have gotten off to a headstart with a #1 album and single, Roth flashes a Cheshire grin. ‘‘I’m built for distance, not for speed,” he laughs heartily. ‘‘If this is, in fact, a race, the outcome will be decided a year from now.” For those, like me, who didn’t really like Van Halen until they realized David Lee Roth was lampooning himself, the new video for “Yankee Rose” is a bit of a disappointment, concentrating as it does on Dave’s buns and crotch in a fairly-straightforward performance clip.

“You have to show the band off to its best advantage,” says Roth. “Because that’s what’s going on the road. We had to put ’em on the screen because, pretty soon, we’re going to be asking people to buy tickets. So, you’ve gotta see what you’re gonna get, unlike another act we all know...”

As for his narcissistic preening, Dave insists he’s not pandering, though it seems pretty ironic Roth’s body parts will be paraded on MTV for every impressionable young mind with access to a television set, while poor Jello Biafra gets busted for including an H. R. Giger poster in one of his albums.

“I do what comes naturally to me,” says Diamond Dave. “At the time, I felt real sexy. So, I throw it all around, I point it into the camera and I make it to the chorus by the skin of my teeth. But then,v just like you, when I sit back after 14 days of editing and color correcting, it looks like a 12-year-old mugging for the nation’s TV sets. I guess we’ll just have to write it off as ‘charming.’ People giggle and squirm when they see it. It’s that kind of humor and sexiness. It all reminds you of yourself, making believe you’re a rock star in front of your bedroom mirror. You see yourself reflected in my eyes every time I stick my booty in the camera. And a little bit of you goes, ‘I’d like to do that, but I shouldn’t...’ So, you squirm and that squirm is worth whatever it costs to turn on that TV to find it, to buy the ticket to see it live, to get the record and put it on your turntable. It’s worth it to me, at least...”

With the aborted Crazy From The Heat film project tied up in court after CBS Theatrical Films, the original backer, went out of business, Dave insists forming a touring band was always on the agenda.

‘‘I wanted to go on the road, that was the main thing,” he says. ‘‘The movie was just icing on the cake, part of the whole program.”

What about those Van Halen fans who are convinced he abandoned the band to go Hollywood?

‘‘I think the music may yell at them for that,” he giggles. ‘‘I’m delirious with this record and this band. We re going for the Guinness Book of World Records with this tour. ‘97 Tons of Fun.’ We’re taking it all over the continental U. S., Canada, Japan, South America, Europe, Australia, Hawaii, you name it. How can you beat it? Everything’s been coming up roses so far. We don’t even have a real manager around here anymore...haven’t for about a year. So, without any real adult supervision, we’re allowed the opportunity to be creative and think ahead.”

If the redeeming grace of the old Van Halen was David Lee’s self-mocking sense of humor, the canny veteran is more than well aware the average metal fan takes his music very seriously.

‘‘The lyrics of the new stuff are funny, but the sentiments are hard-felt,” he points out. ‘They’re very sincere and severe at the same time. It’s balanced. And that’s more human than anything else. I’m having a blast at what I do and I think people, especially the kids, pick up on that first and foremost. There’s conviction there. When I laugh, I’m really laughin’. I’m not faking it. When I make fun of the industry or what it is I’m doing, I point at myself first. Because there is a sense of humor to it. I just refuse to go too far uptown.”

Again, when the conversation turns towards Dave’s personal life, the jocularity seems to cover up deeper feelings he refuses to confront.

‘‘Somebody once asked me what religion I followed, and I told ’em sugar, refined sugar,” he laughs. ‘‘Somewhere along the way, I drove off the road and kept on going. The whole idea of that is a little ironic, a little laughable. That someone could do this and actually make a career out of it. ZZ Top does the same thing. Somebody asked Billy how he -would define his music and he answered it sounded like ‘four flat tires on a muddy road.’ It’s that kind of sentiment that tempers the real metal stuff.”

The conversation turns to the current crop of El Lay glam-rockers, like Poison, Guns ’N Roses and L. A. Guns, who have taken their cue from the rags-to-riches success of groups such as Van Halen and Motley Crue.

“Well, I feel like a shining example, Roy, but I’m not sure of what,” he cackles heartily. “I think the key is to steal from more than one influence, though. Van Halen’s computer program wasn’t written by any one programmer. We lifted from a variety of places, everything from Black Sabbath to Motown, from Deep Purple to the Ohio Players, and what you get is something you don’t recognize instantly. You recognize parts of it, though you’re not exactly sure what you’re listening to. And that’s going to be a lot more intriguing for somebody than shelling out eighteen bucks for an album knowing what to expect, getting it, then simply moving on to the next record.”

Certainly, the sturm und drang of Van Halen was put into perspective by the inclusion of off-beat ditties like “Big Bad Bill” (featuring the Van Halen’s clarinetplaying dad), “Ice Cream Man” and “Could This Be Magic?” just as the thunder and lightning of Eat ’Em And Smile is relieved by the playfulness in Dave’s faithful cover of the Chairman of the Board’s “That’s Life.” Don’t think Roth’s turning into some Catskill crooner just yet, though...

“I have no idea what kind of music I’ll be making in the future, but I know I’m going to be making music,” he says. “I’ve always been into doing ’20’s and ’30’s blues send-ups (like the jumpin’, jivin’ ‘I’m Easy’ on the new LP). Most bands have to make the decision how to temper their albums one way or another. You can blast your way straight through, but I think the greatest bands in history always do something a little different to balance that. Rolling Stones albums, for instance, always had great rock ’n’ roll, but there was always a bit of country, a bit of blues, something to put it into relief. So you know what it is you’re looking at. You don’t know how big something is until you have something little next to it to compare it to. Bands have to make a choice. Are they going to be creative or are they just going to play power ballads? Obviously,

I chose the former, something with more spirit to it, something with a little bit more pizazz.”

Yes, VH fans, don’t give up on Diamond Dave just yet. In Steve Vai and Billy Sheehan, he’s got two monstrous musicians capable of achieving quite a rock ’n’ roll din. Like the tractor pulls he now attends for entertainment, David Lee’s new group can make some noise.

Payback. The still-simmering VH/DLR feud has been going back and forth for months and now it’s Safari Dave’s turn to fight out of the corner. Tell the CREEM readers what your new band will do to those Van Halens, Dave!

“We’re gonna eat ’em and smile,” he roars, his head rearing back so that his hair resembles a lion’s mane. Roth’s Revenge has begun.