BRIT BUZZ

BRIT BUZZ

Sylvie Simmons

What the heck are mashed peas? I think we should be told! Especially since the road to Paul Young’s heart is paved with the things. What does Paulie miss most when he’s away from home touring the States? Mashed peas. And what one culinary delight was beyond the reach of ex-girlfriend Jody Watley? Yup. For want of those pesky mashed peas, she’s found herself out of the life of Paul, not to mention John Taylor, and landed with George Michael. And in the mere professional sense at that.

Maybe George’s mom can tell her what mashed peas are. She seems to know a lot about everything else—-like Whaml’s songs, for instance. Every time George bashes one of the things out, he plays it to his mother and gets her seal of approval before letting them loose on the rest of us.

Not that there’s many more of them to come; the Wham! split is official. “It’s the most amicable split in pop history,” said George on a TV chat-show the other day. “Some time ago we decided that everything we wanted to achieve had finally been achieved.” There’ll be a Wham! single—Andrew Ridgeley’s flying in to join him—some gigs in the summer, an album in the Fall and that’s your lot.

But what about this mashed peas business? Alison Moyet’s a good person to ask; she comes across all manner of strange things in British supermarkets. Like the woman who approached her by the vegetable counter and offered her a waddle-on part in Bryan Ferry’s new video; seems she was sent out to look for for plump housewives, and didn’t know she was talking to a star. And nice Alison didn’t even tell her, just took down the telephone number and went on searching for those mashed peas.

Police are searching for a midget with a pink frilly shirt and evening coat and Prince wig who robbed a wealthy English furrier’s wife of coats and jewelry—a bigger haul than the man impersonating U2 drummer Larry Mullen got. Police are looking for a man with an Irish accent, a nice leather jacket, and— this guy is a master of disguise!—carrying a pair of drumsticks.

U2’s Bono has been taking piano lessons from avant-garde Irish composer Roger Doyle. Or someone who looks a lot like him. There’s talk of a future project together.

Chrissie Hynde and Annie Lennox of the Eurythmics did a rousing duet of K.C. & The Sunshine Band’s “Give It Up” during a benefit show for the Colombia volcano disaster in London, and it’s given Chrissie ideas. She’s been working with Eurythmics keyboard player Pat Seymour, violinist Shankar, Bruce Thomas of Elvis Costello’s Attractions (make that Declan McManus; he’s changed his name back to the one on his birth certificate) and some session drummers and bass players; in fact, half the musicians in existence except for the Pretenders. Denying that Martin Chambers and Malcolm Foster have been given the push, Chrissie says she just wanted to try “something different” on half of the album which will appear in the fall, and they’ll be there on the other half.

The new Spandau Ballet album is well underway in Munich, Germany, and it features lots of girl singers. Not Sade, although she did pop in to see them on their European tour. Which is more than their manager’s doing—it seems he’s living it up in an L.A. jacuzzi surrounded by sweet young things who want to know all about his band!

It’s the kind of life Paul Hardcastle could put up with quite easily. He wants to move to L.A. We say, let him\ "Most days when you wake up here it’s really miserable,” Paul told No. 1 magazine, “and you can’t plan anything because of the weather. Out there it’s always warm; it’s great! I really like America.” But will they really like Paul when they learn that he used to wear huge platform shoes, being so small?

Andy Taylor’s been laying back in Rod Stewart’s jacuzzi in L.A., letting his hair grow and his skin go all white and wrinkly like it does when you hold a champagne glass underwater for 20 minutes and generally having a great time. So great that he’s been trying to lure fellow Durannie John Taylor westwards away from Renee Simonson to join in the fun; if he can still squeeze his bod into his bathing trunks the way Renee feeds him. Confidential to Renee: cut down on the mashed peas. Seems the way to a teen god’s heart is still through his stomach, as John told us Renee is “the odds-on favorite” if he decides to get married. For now she’s just got a part in his video.

Did you know John once made a bet with Simon Le Bon? They both swore that the first one to tie the knot (we at ROCK-SHOTS know Simon will appreciate this nautical term!) would shave off all his hair. Oh, those waggish pop stars! But has it happened? Is this why Simon’s gone out to sea on his yacht again? Or did he pay Thomas Dolby to have his hair butchered in his place? If not, Thomas, we know a good lawyer; that avant-garde barber should be run out of town!

But has Duran Duran gone the way of Wham! and been given the Big Chop? John Taylor told The Sun newspaper, “We’re a big group now, but in some ways we are burned out. There will never be another Duran Duran tour. We’ll just give the odd performance.”

Oh no! All we Brits will have left to love is A-Ha. And Mort is practically engaged to that dancer, Bunty Bailey. Of course there’s King, but Paul King is getting on a bit, even if he did hold his school’s kissing record at the age of ten. “I had my first girlfriend at six,” King boasted. He also said something along the lines of “Dolphins have got a lot to do with King,” which is just as big a mystery to us as mashed peas.

Don’t know about dolphins, but Dolph —Dolph Lundgren, the pinko hulk who gave Rocky a whipping—saved the life of his girlfriend Grace Jones when she was knocked unconscious in a waterskiing accident in the Caribbean. Which only goes to prove what ROCK-SHOTS has known all along: exercise is bad for your health. Take up something safe like star-gazing—Paul Humphries of OMD

has spent the past week glued to his telescope looking at Halley’s Comet...or writing a book—Bob Geldof’s autobiography is due any minute. Wait a minute—what’s this about him launching Sports Aid too? Don’t say he’s going to run? “Not likely!” Well then. Still, Suggs of Madness and Ozzy Osbourne won’t be separated from their karate instructors. And little Nick Heyward, exHaircut 100, spends half his time down at the gym and the other half pumping iron at home. Which will never build him up as quickly as mashed peas.

Madonna's been in London with husband Sean Penn, promoting their film Shanghai Surprise and trying to dodge the press, who’ve been hounding them in and out of restaurants and theaters. Still, they confronted each other at a press conference. George Harrison, the ancient Beatleperson who’s producing the film and acting as all-round minder to Madonna until Nick Heyward’s built up those muscles a bit, called the press “animals,” the press called Sean Penn “animal”... things were generally beastly. But we did learn that it’s “fun” working with Sean, that her favorite bits in the film are when “we are gazing into each other’s eyes,” that there’s no naked nuns in the movie, and that it’s been “a challenge” for Madonna “to play someone so opposite to my own temperament. She’s a character that doesn’t really know how to express emotions and that keeps a lot of things inside and is actually quite scared about a lot of things.” And what about babies? You know, small, pink things that look a lot like mashed peas? “I suppose some day,” said Madonna. “Not in the near future.”

Meanwhile, Howard Jones is going to be a dad in July, and when Mr. Mister’s Richard Page comes off tour in June there’ll be the patter of tiny feet to greet him. Which will also deflate Richard’s complaints that he’s had no time to spend all the money Mr. Mister have made!

He could, of course, give some to Angie Bowie. David Bowie’s ex-wife has been moaning to the press that she’s broke, her phone’s been cut off, and it’s no asking David for any since it took him long enough to come up with the settlement.

She could always put on a chest-length wig and do Japanese commercials like Boy George. He’s just back from doing two of the things: one for a make-up company, the other for a gin, niftily called “Jun.” While his old pals Frankie Goes To Hollywood are busy getting ready for their comeback, complete with a new “rustic look.” Though we at ROCKSHOTS prefer the Bangles campaign to bring back flaired trousers! We hope they’ll have time for this noble effort, what with the Cher appreciation society Vicki Peterson is about to launch. And, gosh, those bell bottoms are the best thing for hiding a mashed pea binge...!