LETTERS

LETTERS

Please send your letters to: Mail Dept, CREEM Magazine Box p-1064 Birmingham, Ml 48012.

SPOT THE SEVERAL LOGICAL FLAWS!

Hey, Robert Christgau! I think it‘s time you go out and get a R-E-A-L job! Where do you get off in the April'86 issue betting if Finnish-American drummer David Uosikkinen of the Hooters dyes his hair or not. You’re supposed to talk about Nervous ,Night, not his hair! Eypn if you don’t like the album, who cares?! Nobodylistens to you pities anyway, it’s quite obvious, because Nervous Night is already platinum! So like the old saying goes, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Anne Wilczynsk*

Atlantic City, NJ

WE’LL HAVE THE MEATBALLS!

Hi, CREEMI

Have you ever heard of a band from Sweden called STORY?

No, I gues^^ but now you will.

I often read your magazine, you can buy it in SwedehTtoo, and I often wonder if it’s possible to be publicized in your paper.

So, now I try.

The style of our music are much more American much like Saga, Toto and that kind of stuff.

So, if you think it’s worth a try on us, please send me a note.

Jorgen Nilsson

Karlskoga, Sweden

LIFE CHEATS ALU

Let’s start this off by being blunt: my generation is totally confused! And the reasons for this confusion are far too many indeed! Number one on the list would probably be the fact that we were born too late for the oh-so legendary ’60s experience. The one generation who boasted “we’re gonna .change the world# and never came through with their pretentious promise but still insist that us kids today are unfortunate souls for not having been there...suuuuuure we are! Number two on the list is1 the realization that we grew up during the sorry 70s withotn'iadfibent pop image to hold on to! Forgive us! Number three on the list is the sudden bombardment of punk rock and all its rabble-rousing patheticness. The punks also promised to change things and they did, but not for the better! Now what have we got today, you might ask?!! Well, close your eyes and check it out, but don’t be afraid to cringe!! Sid Vicious is still dead. Johnny Rotten is Johnny Lydon. Heavy metal sucks. Roth leaves Van Halen and is “replaced” by Sammy Hagar (!?). Springsteen is now God and America. A.O.R. still rules the radio. Costello is in a slump. MTV is agony and kids my age want to revive ’60s psychedelia (!?). Bowie is now very commercial, the Rolling Stones need to retire. Blondie is busted up. Morrissey is incurably depressed. And R.E.M. is ridiculously incomprehensible.

Duran Duran rule the world for all the wrong reasons. The Cure make no sense, but are very humorous. Michael Jackson and Boy George are cut-out images and Prince is just a poseur. Lester Bangs is regretfully deceased. Dave Marsh is “very respected” and the Clash are eclipsed—again. Lou Reed is now worthless. Dynasty is still #1 in the ratings and who really cares about the Del Fuegos? I don’t even wanna talk about Madonna, Billy Idol or Albert Goldman! All in all the whole thing stinks! And what has Robyn Hitchcock to say? “Rock ’n’ roll doesn’t need destroying. It needs nourishing,” and I couldn’t agree with him more! And as for me, I’m keeping my fingers crossed and hope that people like Candy, the Cruzados, the Pretenders, Chris Isaak and the Hoodoo Gurus and, of course, Robyn Hitchcock can keep up the good work. By the way, your March issue was great! Please, please, more pictures of Jennifer Miro; she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.

SINGULAR OMISSIONS

Ken Barnes’s article on singles of 1985 (April ’86 issue) excludes four important B-sides: “Big Train (From Memphis)” by John Fogerty (a gentle but solid rockabilly song and the best tribute to Elvis Presley I’ve ever heard); “Grown Up Girls” (one of the best [and weirdest] songs the Eurythmics have ever done); and two by Bruce Springsteen, “Stand On It” (a rock ’n’ roll song) and “Janey, Don’t You Lose Heart” (a song with a sentimental, late-’50s sound, but with no sense of embarrassment or parody to weaken it). Except for Fogerty’s, these songs are not on any album.

In any case, Barnes is probably the best rock critic in CREEM. He has good taste, he pays attention to singles and his writing is straightforward. Most of the other reviewers in CREEM are pseudo-sophisticated clowns who wouldn’t know a good song or album if it bit them; most of the time, they use huge doses of sarcasm to try to cover up the fact that they’re so naive.

H. Baker

Denver, CO

(Then it is shrimp creole at your place in celebration?—Ed.)

Troy Reyes Bronx, NY

CRISIS IN POLPDOM!

Your magazine is, always has been, and always will be sick, disgusting, rude, immature, revolting, callous, crude, socially unacceptable and not very nice. Tim Dwyer Overland Park, KS (Heck.—Ed.)

SPIN SOLD IN CANADA UNDER DIFFERENT NAME!

More people in my high school read Goat magazine than CREEM. Do you think you’re becoming sexually unattractive, or did prep and yupdom submerge the mag fo’ a couple of issues and then jump ship because there’s no column on style? I thought so.

Marc Simao Goat magazine Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

FORCED TO WRITE AGAINST BETTER JUDGEMENT l‘ve only bought CREEM twice, and I must say it sucks. I mean your so-called writers stink, like that asshole J. Kordosh. Personally, when I buy a magazine and read the stories in it I don’t want to read this shit about how bad some band is. Fokexample, let’s take the April ’86 issue, if I wanted to hear what scums the guys from Motley Crue are I wouldn’t spend $2.25 on it, when my parents say it for free. All I’ve got to say is you guys should shape up. If you want to see “America’s Only Rock ’n’ Roll Magazine,” I suggest Circus.

Shelly Rodman Gladstone, Mp

(Andin Canada, don’t forget Goat.—Ed.)

NIKKI: NOT NICE?

About a week ago I went to buy the April issue of America’s only and—to my disgust—what did I see on the cover? A picture of those ugly, low-life degenerates, Motley Crue, that’s what! Haven’t their slimy faces been on the cover of your magazine enough times? But what did I see once I opened the magazine that would disgust me even more? An actual story on those scumbuckets, rather than a tacky, biit funny, Stars’ Cars or an album review. I didn’t think I’d ever see something like that, considering how much the CREEM writers love and respect those animals.

What’s even more disgusting is that I read the article. At least J. Kordosh had the good sense to call that nauseating music puerile, which I doubted (his good sense, that is) after his Rocky IV review.

Well, I learned that Nikki Sucks, sorry, Sixx, doesn’t know how old he is—or did the ever-so-witty Mr. Kordosh make up that part of the story? I learned that Nikki Sixx doesn’t particularly care for Tears For Fears (not that I do). He probably thinks, although it must be such a difficult task for him, that the idea for “Shout” was stolen from “Shout At The Devil,” which Mr. Original stole from “Summertime Blues.” Speaking of robbery, did anyone notice how close the lyrics of “Home Sweet Home” resemble the words in “Dream On” and that other Aerosmith song (I can’t remember its name)?

One last thing; in regard to Nikki Sixx calling Deborah Frost a “lesbian bodybuilder,” the sorry excuse of a human being was disappointed and hurt when a woman had the nerve to not throw herself on him and—to add insult to injury—asked him personal questions, rather than “How many bottles of Jack Daniels can you consume without taking a breath?”

I hope you get AIDS, Nikki.

Next month, you guys can have an article on Heather Locklear’s brain tumor.

Tanya

Cleveland, OH