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ELEGANZA

Years ago, Robert Christgau wrote, “Never trust a group with a logo,” but that was only typical Chrisgauvian hyperbole. What you should never trust is a group with a logo that tries so hard to be clever that it can’t be read. Take Ratt’s, for example.

May 1, 1986
John Mendelssohn

ELEGANZA

THE NAME GAME

John Mendelssohn

Years ago, Robert Christgau wrote, “Never trust a group with a logo,” but that was only typical Chrisgauvian hyperbole.

What you should never trust is a group with a logo that tries so hard to be clever that it can’t be read. Take Ratt’s, for example.

Please take Ratt’s. I don’t care what anyone says—those aren’t T’s over there on the right. Would you think me immoderate if I suggested that whoever’s responsible for it ought to have his or her fingers crushed—no, better yet, ought to be made up and costumed by whoever costumed and made Stephen, Robbin, Tubby, and the others up for their “Lay It Down” video, and then forced to attend an NFL game?

Speaking of Ratt’s costumes and makeup, can someone please explain how it is that the teen idols who put the most energy into being perceived as insatiable groupie-despoilers, voracious studs, ultra-he-men with cocks that point ever heavenward, are those least distinguishable from the groupies they mean to despoil, are those who’d look least out of place in a drag bar?

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