WHAT DID YOU PUT IN THAT PUNCH?
The other day, semi-retired CREEM writer Trixie A. Balm, who now sings folk songs in Greenwich Village, remembered a day at CBGB’s that happened about 10 years ago. “Helen says, Trixie, let’s dye your hair today.’ I said, ‘What a strange idea.’
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WHAT DID YOU PUT IN THAT PUNCH?
Anne Leighton
The other day, semi-retired CREEM writer Trixie A. Balm, who now sings folk songs in Greenwich Village, remembered a day at CBGB’s that happened about 10 years ago.
“Helen says, Trixie, let’s dye your hair today.’ I said, ‘What a strange idea.’ So I got my hair dyed bright red by Helen Wheels. It was so deranged. I got addicted to dying my hair at that moment.”
Now that DC Comics has bumped off Supergirl, they could create a new comic hero based on Helen Wheels. They wouldn’t have to think too hard for the stories—Helen Wheels can do anything. Able to tear beer cans in half, with her bare hands, she is known for being a rock singer and a body-builder.
The body-building shows up in her concerts as she flexes, stretches and does tons of fingertip push-ups in time with music. “Oh God,” go the fans. They will shout for certain poses. Her audience consists of rock fans and athletes. The bouncers, whom Helen describes as “These big guys with doorways for bodies and little heads,” are the most turned on by this rocking woman body-builder.
She came to the heart of New York City in 1970. She wrote some poetry, did art, rode with outlaw motorcycle gangs and also sewed leather fashions. She did all of Blue Oyster Cult’s stage clothing. Five years later, the Cult needed some lyrics for their Agents Of Fortune album. They asked Helen for lyrics. They gave her a platinum record, songwriting royalties and more lyric-writing gigs.
The Cult also gave Helen inspiration to become a singer. She had a certain vision as to how her songs should be interpreted. The Cult had different visions. “Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood,” Helen quoted Eric Burdon’s song. “I started singing my own songs.”
In 1977 her performing style was, in concept, artistic. In practice, it did not seem clearly thought out. One stage bit was the murder of Houdini. She made a big plaster cage that she was going to punch through. Somehow she missed the inside and hit the plaster edge. She severely cut her hand. “I guess I believed the artist was supposed to suffer,” Helen stated.
“I didn’t have the beauty experience in myself. I had a lot of self-doubts. I guess I hadn’t earned it, yet.”
A few years ago Helen began training in bodybuilding, which had a profound affect on her self-image. Bodybuilding is something that she compares to positive visualization-setting a goal for yourself and working towards it. One of Helen Wheels’s songs, “Break The Chains,” is a story of a girl fantasizing about being a rock song. As the song progresses, the girl’s dreams come true. “I really believe if you believe in yourself and your dreams and you can visualize them—think about them and work towards them—they’ll happen. If you’re positive, sooner or later you’re just gonna shine through.” She emphasizes, “It’s not something that happens without working towards it in the real world.”
She started winning Ms. Apollo championships. Most recently she became an actress, with a bit part in the next Steven Spielberg movie. The largest music talent agency, Premier Talent, has signed the Helen Wheels Band for tours. The record deal and video are sure to follow.
What about the comic based on the life and times of Helen Wheels? That’s my idea. So, obviously it’s a good one. Maybe we can get it on Saturday morning TV and in the Sunday comics, huh? Helen can select the colors for the ink dye. Trixie will loan us her head for practice. I’ll watch.
