BRITMETAL: No More Bucky Beaver

BRITMETAL: No More Bucky Beaver

Sylvie Simmons

These are desperate times, what with herpes scares and AIDS scares and rockstars demanding medical notes from groupies; hell, even Freddie Mercury’s teeth have gone straight!—the most glorious vocalist in the universe forked out over a thousand (pardon the expression) bucks to have a London dental specialist ensure that he can no longer eat spaghetti out of a beer bottle. But, still, fearless Mick Jagger has “done it” with nigh on a thousand partners, according to an “expose” in London’s Daily Mirror newspaper. Wonder he managed to stand up in the “Dancing In The Street” video, let alone leap all over the place! Could have something to do with also liking drugs, according to the newspaper, which revealed that he’d even taken the things in front of a member of the Royal Family! (Not Princess Diana, mind you; she doesn’t like the Rolling Stones; Wham!, Spandau Ballet and Dire Straits are her favorites.) Not to be outdone, Jerry Hall’s been over here, on the telly, on the radio, in our newspapers, flogging her Tall Tales book, drawling about being “a whore in the bedroom.” “I used to only love country & western, but I love Mick’s music,” she told Melody Maker. “I’m coming around more to the rock ’n’ roll point of view now. I quite like Madonna, y’know...Mick hates her, he goes mad, he gets really upset that I can like her!”

David Lee Roth doesn’t like her all that much either; leasts not enough to accept her offer to jump out of a giant cake at her party; or maybe he just doesn’t like cake...

Must be contagious. Ian Gillan just had his tonsils whipped out and is convalescing in Spain. While Ratt’s Stephen Pearcy threatened to whip out another insignificant part of the anatomy, at a London record co. party, to prove to Britmetal once and for all that he doesn’t carry his green-groceries in his pants. But, as Mrs. Pearcy wrote in her brave letter to CREEM, Stephen is a good boy, “into rock ’n’ roll, not into leather, chains, devil, sex, or all the ugly things you wrote.” Hell, her offspring even told metalmag Kerrang, “Music is first on our agenda, women second, man.” While Robbin Crosby added, “None of us have girlfriends. Girlfriend is a bad word around here, ha ha ha. Do we look like the kind of guys that would cry if we were away from home too long, man?”

Things were jumping at Power Station’s Andy Taylor’s chic little wine bar. Vandals smashed a giant fish tank, leaving four man-eating piranhas wriggling under the stiletto heels of his terrified customers. But even more disgustingly terrifying was it for customers of a Berlin restaurant when Fish of Marillion, a little the worse for wear, walked in naked. Or perhaps we should use his real name, Derek Dick\, although he’s just persuaded his bank manager to issue him a checkbook with “Fish” on them. Marillion had to cancel British tour when Fish came down with chronic throat ache—blaming it on nine-hour interviews with the Japanese press.

Oh well, maybe some of Lemmy's moral rectitude rubbed off on them on their short visit to Britain. The warted one’s girlfriend, Debbie Undon, told the papers she had no trouble trusting her Lem around naked British superstar Samantha Fox seeing as she’s “too thick” for her fellow to bother with.

Did you know Lemmy produced the Bside of the new Ramones 12-inch, “Go Home Anne”? For that matter, did you know Johnny Ramone use to be a guitar roadie for Mountainous Leslie West? No more peculiar than exRamones drummer Mark Bell putting adverts in British metal magazines for a job with an H. M. band...

Our thoughts go out to Ozzy Osbourne, thwarted now in his big ambition “to sleep with Rock Hudson.” Still, he’s been burying himself in his work, putting the finishing touches to The Ultimate Sin, the new album. New band, too. Joining Jake E. Lee are Randy Castillo, ex-Llta Ford and Stone Fury, and the cute Phil Soussain, most recently in Robin George’s band.

David Coverdale’s finally managed to find a replacement for Cozy Powell. The drumming job with Whitesnake marks a definite improvement in taste for the much-travelled (Journey, Jefferson Starship, to name but two stops) Aynsley Dunbar. Cozy, the “P” in the New Improved (“sort of Led Zeppelin meets the Nice”) E.L.P., got onstage in Sussex the other day with Keith Emerson and Greg Lake to play their new stuff before a live audience—or as live as ELP audiences ever get— for the first time. While Pete Townshend has put a band together with Pink Floyd’s Dave Gilmour as part of his anti-heroin crusade. Wouldn’t be surprised to see a bunch of benefits from Motley Crue before too long, what with Vince Neil having to come up with $21/2 million-odd in compensation to the family of Hanoi Rocks' Razzle, killed in last year’s car crash, and the two people injured in the other car. There’s also a 30-day jail sentence to be served, postponed by the judge until the end of their world tour; probably the only 50-year world tour in the history of H.M...

Mike Monroe, former Hanoi Rocks vocalist, has been working with his roommate Stiv Bators of Lords Of The New Church on some new, “more commercial" stuff. But not as commercial as what the rest of the remaining Rocks are up to. Andy McCoy, Nasty Suicide and Terry Chimes have formed a band called Cherry Bombz, with one of their old roadies on bass and the exotic exToto Coelo Anita Chellemah on vocals. They’ve just started recording an EP in London. Trouble is, it’s only being released in Scandinavia. Which is where old Hanoi Rocks bassist Rene Berg is right now, reforming his previous band Idle Flowers.

Vocalist Fin has parted company with Waysted and gone off on his own; his replacement’s Danny Vaughan, exDOA, the band Waysted’s guitarist Paul Chaoman used to be in. So much for rumors that Phil Mogg—the man Michael Schenker referred to as Hitler incarnate—would leave UFO to join his old pal Pete Way. “Actually I think we piss all over UFO,” Pete reckons. Check for yourself when UFO's new album comes out next month.

Mercyful Fate’s modest frontman King Diamond has put together a new band named after himself; he’s working on an album, Fatal Portrait...

David Donato, the current record holder for the shortest-ever time spent as vocalist with Black Sabbath, has put together a band with Mark St. John, equally talented at spending barely any time at all with Kiss (the unfortunate fault of an illness that temporarily put his guitar-playing hand out of action). White Tiger, it’s called. Meanwhile the first of the ex-Kiss guitarists, Ace Frehley, is working on some more demos at Power Station studio, having given up the idea now of signing with London’s Bronze (Home Of Motorhead) Records.

Metallica, beloved of Bon Jovi’s little brother, have headed to drummer Lars Ulrich’s hometown, Copenhagen, to record their third album (Fleming Rasmussen is co-producing with the band). When it’s out in January they start a world tour, “probably continuing for most of ’86,” according to Lars who says, “Make sure all the readers of METAL understand that at Donington we were headlining over Raft.” Do you understand? OK.

Probably won’t understand the upcoming Hawkwind album though. Elric: The Chronicle Of The Black Sword is some concept thingie based on Michael Moorcock’s “Elric” books; M.M.’s collaborating on lyrics. No guest appearance expected by Sweetheart Of The ’40s Dame Vera Lynn who appeared with them at a British anti-heroin benefit.

Def Leppard have been busy finishing their Mutt Lange-produced album in gay Paree and suing Flash Records, who were on the verge of releasing an album of early Leppard demos under the title First Strike. They’ve just recruited Jeff Rich, one-time drummer with Judie Tzuke and Rhino Edwards, to augment Rick Allen, who they say’s definitely appearing on the next tour, complete with special modified drumkit.

Thor—“the blond warrior god of heavy metal...muscular, six-foot-two, 200-pound band leader” it says here—has been taking informal motorcycle riding lessons from a Toronto chapter of the Hell’s Angels (?!) called Satan’s Choice. It’s all got to do with a role he’s got in the upcoming Rafai Zielinski/Roger Corman film, Recruits—as Thunderhead, the heroic long-haired leader of a posse of motorcycle cops...Billy Idol has been talking to director Tobe Hooper about making him a full-length-butch-movie star—Bambo? Yup, Bambo’s mean, Bambo’s bad, Bambo’s so bad he smashed up the London offices of his record co. the other day just because they didn’t have enough copies of his current album in stock. Sounds pretty sensible to me. Far more sensible than the British population making Rambo the most popular movie of the year...

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OK, you’ve read this, you deserve to know. Rumors that Led Zeppelin are reforming, with either son of John Jason Bonham on drums or Tony Thompson of Power Station, depending which report you read, following the fun they had at Live Aid, have been denied by Page, Plant and Jones. Jimmy Page is in the middle of a new Firm album, Robert Plant’s in the middle of a solo tour and there’s not much hope for John Paul Jones when he goes around telling Sounds that he doesn’t like Heavy Metal, “because it all seems too fast!”