PRIME TIME

PRIME TIME

SPANK ME SENATOR FASTER, FASTER

Richard C. Walls

As I write, the move to rate rock records and the attendant hysteria are in remission—though, if the various parties involved (on both sides) are to be believed the malignancy should flare again, fairly soon. The first wave crested with a Senate hearing this past September. It was a well-covered event that several publications have already reported on in detail and so I hesitate to resurrect too many of the hearing’s delightful one-liners, despite the fact that thanks to C-Span, I have the entire four hours plus on tape. It’s extremely entertaining and instructive and some enterprising soul Should package it (or at least the highlights) for the video tape market and see that it gets the wide distribution it deserves. Nonrock fans could learn that Frank Zappa and Dee Snider are actual human beings wbo can speak whole sentences while others (who aren’t normally drawn to C-Span) would have an opportunity to see some senators in action (these are the people who wield the power...look upon them and shudder.

’Cause that’s what struck me as most noteworthy about the proceedings, the attitudes of the various senators toward the witnesses both pro and con, toward the music in question, toward the issues involved...in most cases there was that veneer of civility, but always just underneath and often flashing to the surface, one saw the ugly face of authority that perceives it is being challenged. Of course, after being primed by the notorious Parents’ Music Resource Center’s Jeff Ling and his misleading and manipulative (and hilarious) presentation of the issue, the senators had little choice—if one is relying on the PMRC as the sole source of information about rock music in 1985, then one can’t be entirely blamed for panicking. Sen. Slade Gorton (R-Washington) informed Zappa that his testimony was “boorish and insulting” (which pretty much sums up the senators’ perception of rock music in general—with the possible exception of Sen. Gore, a slippery fish I can’t pin down in the limited space I have here). Gorton also told Zap that he didn’t “have the slightest understanding” of the First Amendment—a pointed reminder that who-has-what-rights is an arcane area that only senators are knowledgeable enough to see clearly.

So the parents had the kids in the den for a little heart-to-heart. And if that way of looking at it seems too fanciful for you, try this take: the vast majority of examples continually given of objectionable lyrics are by either black per-

formers and/or heavy metal groups, suggesting that perhaps the perceived threat to authority is more class-based than generational. The whole thing may just be the hardcore middle-class trying to protect themselves from the grunge below, of bourgeois cultural majoritarians feeling threatened by a bunch of foulmouthed negroes and uncouth, aggressive whites of dubious social status. It could be that corny.

At any rate, the battle will continue at a later date. A ratings system, even a detailed one like the PMRC advocates, would not be much of a victory for anyone— merely a nuisance and basically unenforceable, it would have much the opposite effect than what the censors intend (cf. the movie ratings). It would be a sop to the moralists and would ease their minds away from certain perplexing truths such as that the gun-love and sexism that leads to so many heavy metal weaponrymetaphors for screwing are ingrained in the dominant culture that the PMRC-types so heartily represent. But then insight isn’t the goal of this game, just some brand spanking new legislation.