METAL Q & A BOBBY BLOTZER SPEAKS HIS MIND

METAL Q & A BOBBY BLOTZER SPEAKS HIS MIND

FEATURES

by Annene Kaye

(ring... ring...)

Hello?

This is Annene Kaye from CREEM magazine.

Hi, howareya?

Is this Bobby? Bobby Blotzer?

You bet. What’s your name again? Annene.

Oh, OK. I just woke up, so I’m a little...y’know?

From a little what?

From a little long night last night. We’re in total rehearsals getting ready to leave Sunday on tour. Man, I don’t have time to do shit...l mean, I don’t mind...l love working, but I live about 22 miles from Hollywood so I gotta drive! We've got the whole stage set up for doing production rehearsals, and before we were out in the San Fernando Valley, so I’d have to drive 80 miles round trip every day.

What kind of car is all this driving done in?

A 1985 944, so it does make it easier. Ah, traveling in style...so what's the scoop on this tour?

We’re invading everyone’s privacy all summer long, on into '86. Everything’s happening, the album’s doing excellent...wait a minute, I got a question; who’s this chick that said all this shit about me in CREEM?

"Calling me fat and stuff... I think it's totally ridiculous and uncalled for. We don't make fun of CREEM."

Which one? The “snarling and pointing’’ one?

Ah man, and calling me fat and shit...I’ll tell you something; I’ve been reading CREEM since 1972. I’ve never liked CREEM, other than looking at the pictures. You can’t read the articles, unless it’s the Question and Answer...and you get this person, whoever he or she is, saying this shit about bands that sell the magazine. I think it’s totally ridiculous and uncalled for. We don’t make fun of CREEM.

Why not? Go ahead and see if I care.

Nah, I don’t want to.

Rats.

Actually, you can take back what I said, that I never liked CREEM. I do, however, have a hard time reading it. Everyone tries to be clever and funny and tricky and it never works so...Ba-pa-da-tat-chiiiich! Are you ready to hang up on me yet? Me? I’m not the kind of wimp who can’t take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’. I have many questions here, for instance: what are you wearing?

Right now I’m wearing nothing but jogging pants.

You must be a really happy guy. Is it terribly hot in California?

It’s great. I bought a place right at the ocean. I’m gonna miss it but...gotta go out and make the mortgage payments. It’s nice in L.A.

You don't sound native...you're not from San Diego like the rest of those guys, are you?

Fuck nnnnooooo. I was born in Pittsburgh and brought up in Summerville, New Jersey. I’ve been out in Los Angeles, however, for about 10 years. I can't handle the snow, man. I like going skiing once in a while, but I can lay on the beach in the morning and go skiing in the afternoon out here so...what more could you want?

Summerville’s not exactly up with L.A. in the luxury sweepstakes. Speaking of sports, I hear you’ve whittled off some pounds. What's the Blotzer Shape Up secret?

I bought a precision rowing machine, which I hardly ever use. We’re taking it on the road so we can use it in the dressing room. At home it sits in the garage, I’m just too lazy at home to be motivated.

I like to play tennis and golf.

Golf? A la Arnold Palmer?

Arnold Palmer is Tommy Lee’s nickname. I’ve taken him golfing, and he’s been deemed “Arnie” by myself and the guitar player of Malice.

Do you go for the white-shoed, whitebelted, plaid pants business?

No, hardly, fuck no! I go more for the tennis shoes, ripped up old jogging pants and a Ratt T-shirt. It’s great, you can go out there, drink beers, drive the cart...it’s wonderful, I love it.

Stephen credited you with having a real “meat and potatoes’’ sense of humor.

Yeah, I’m definitely the comedy guy in this band; somebody’s got to do it.

Like, lampshades on the head?

No, I’m more Rodney Dangerfield. `Oh, dirty jokes on the Tonight Show. You want to hear something nice CREEM wrote about you? It s the Motley Crue vs. Ratt thing...

Yeah, the guy talked about drums and shit.

He said you were a good drummer; it’s not all dirty dish on this side....

That’s true, but that’s one dish out of a whole pile.

...but then he made fun of your haircut.

He said I looked like Jeff Taxi or something...OK, I found that funny enough. It’s not me just defending myself from that fuckin’ sea hag, whoever she is. Forty-seven years old and varicose veins covering her body, she’s gotta unleash it on somebody. She picks on everyone, and everybody she picks on are mega bands that sell the magazine.

I don’t think that’s fair.

What is? Who cares what we think? And speaking of thinking, what will they think of you in Europe?

We’re getting ready to go over to the U.K. in August. We’ve always done good there, we’ve never been over, but our EP went to #2 in the Kerrang chart. We’re touring with ZZ Top, the Monsters of Rock and Castle Donnington. The tour we’re getting ready to embark on here, we have Bon Jovi and Mama’s Boys as support acts. I think that’s a good package. We have a monstrous stage, it’s got to be seen...and I’m not trying to hype. We have 38 guys on the crew now to take care of all this shit.

Then you’ll have more time to ride your exercise bike. Do you ever get hate mail from moms?

No, but we ve gotten fan letters written in crayon. That’s the extent of how young our fans go. Mothers are cool, they’ve written little notes saying, ‘My daughter just loves your band.’ Live, I’ve seen parents in the audiences with their kids, standing there smiling. Oh man, but then I thought, these same people were probably at a Doors concert once doing the same shit. It means that we’re getting old... eeeewwwwww.

What’s on your bedroom walls?

Nothing really, just some stupid paintings. At home I’m quite the opposite of what I am on the road. On the road, something on my bedroom walls would probably be spit and stuff, ’cause I have no respect for hotels whatsoever. The more they screw up my breakfast, the more loss of respect occurs. Nah...l don’t really spit on walls...it’s more like pizza and scrambled eggs, when they should have been fried.

So that’s the limit of your hotel trashing?

Yeah, the inexpensive kind. I’m not into throwing TVs in the pool, I’d rather save money than lose it.

It’s old-fashioned to fling TVs around.

I’ve done my share I haven’t thrown any TVs out the window, but I’ve kicked a couple of holes in the walls. We just got back from Japan, by the way. We did 11 shows, they all sold out a couple of months in advance. We took a film crew over there, they shot us getting off the Bullet train...there were like 300 kids waiting and flipping out. It’s like a documentary type thing. Atlantic is selling the first home video cassette of all the Ratt videos, interview videos and the one from Japan.

What’s your favorite stage move?

Going on stage. With this one we could really (line noise makes whatever was said sound like “happening hampster”) because there’s ramps that go all the way around. When we get back I’m sure you’ll be at the gig and you’ll see it. We’re doing Meadowlands.

“I’m a sweaty kind of guy.”

That’s a great place to play. It rises out of the swamp in the middle of Nowhere, New Jersey.

I love it, that’s one of my favorite arenas. It’s all clean, it looks like some weird space house. Not to mention the fact it’s in Jersey...get my brothers down there. I have two brothers and a sister, but she’s in Pittsburgh. She does my publicity in Pittsburgh, they do it in Jersey.

Are you a local hero in Jersey?

Not really. In Pittsburgh I’m a pretty popular kind of guy...I think. But I have a lot of cousins and stuff there. It’s like, we own the town there. Here at home in L.A. I’ve been safe so far, only a couple of kids discovered it. Ah, poor Juan, man, we’re getting ready to tour, and he’s just finally moving. Man, every day they’d have candlelight vigils outside his house. I’d go over and there’d be like 15 kids... he’s got a studio in his house and they’d watch him record through the window. Juan, you ham!

As long as they don’t start analyzing his garbage...

That would be the living end, but I’ve been safe here. A couple of kids have come by and I gave ’em some posters. It was funny, I was out washing my car, and they’re walking by with “Out Of The Cellar” cranked on this ghetto blaster. They had a T-shirt that looked like, 10 minutes ago they’d written RATT with a felt-tipped pen. I go, “Get over here before I club you over the noodle.” So...I made ’em wash my car...JUST KIDDING. What do you think about Vince Neil's nose?

I like Vince Neil’s nose. He’s a neighbor of mine, a good friend.

So you get to see his nose a lot.

Oh yeah, he lets me kiss it and stuff. That was an interesting question.

Well, when I see a pic of Motley Crue, it’s kinda the first thing I see. There’s not another nose like it in Heavy Metal.

So he’s not like a face without a nose. Billy Idol’s not going to write a song about him. Vince is taking karate now.

Do you go in for any of that self-defense stuff?

I’m not dedicated enough. If I’m going to do something like that, I want to do it to the extreme. Vince is really good with it, and now Tommy Lee’s getting into it. I play golf and party.

You can always club ’em over the head. What do you think about Robot toys?

Well, having a kid, I step on them late at night and fall down, so... Voltron, defender of the universe. That’s the one.

I can’t figure them out myself.

What do you figure about watches that smell like fruit?

SAY WHAT? Come on, first I get the pointing and snarling and being fat jokes, now you’re doing a joke interview! Come on...

No, I'm doing an Annene interview...a little of everything. I’m just naturally curious about dumb things.

Watches that smell like fruit? You can buy those in Hollywood and San Francisco only, I’ve been told.

And you don’t want them to spread?

That’s it. Put ’em on an island.

What would your watch smell like?

Sweat. I’m a sweaty kind of guy. My nickname from T-Bone (Tommy Lee, when he's not Arnie) is “Louie,” ’cause I sweat so much. Remember Louie Armstrong always had a towel in his hand? That’s me, except for the color and I don’t play trumpet. Actually I can play da-dada-daah-da, but that’s as far as it goes. Why do you think you’re CREEM’s current punching bag? I mean, before it was Rush, now it’s you.

"In Pittsburgh I'm a pretty popular kind of guy...I think."

Me personally, Bobby Blotzer? Are they having fun doing this?

I don’t know what they do for fun out there in Detroit.

I don’t know why they’re doing it— gimme the press, but don’t be so lame about it. Gimme a break.

Here’s an idea, what would you wear if you posed for a CREEM Dream?

I did have a CREEM Dream...and the people you work for put a picture of me in there with Warren’s name on it. Get it together, CREEM!

So you'd wear Warren’s name?

Get CREEM out of here! What would I wear? I got these new tight...oh, what are they called?...Stephen got ’em for me...these pants, they look like long underwear. I’d probably wear long underwear. Yeah, that sounds right. With a corncob pipe and a coo ns kin cap?

Why not?

If you had a game show, what would it be like?

My game show would consist of all my friends that are in other bands and...oh no...I better not say that. I’m glad I didn’t. I’ve heard enough anyhow. What about a soap opera, like? Days Of Our Blotzer?

Days Of Our Blot, One Blot To Live...I like that. God, a soap opera starring Stephen Pearcy.Jt would be a full party going on every day, with girls running around, video machines, clubs.

What do you think about when someone aims a camera at you?

I want your readers to know this. We do tons of photo sessions. When the photographer tells you, “Come on, give me some shit,” you do it. I mean, you can stand there and look good, just look good not doing anything, for about a roll. Then they start getting you to roar and shit. You do that a couple of times, for good shots...flippin’ the camera off...and then, that’s what they pick! So I’m making it a point not to point. Even though that’s me,

I just don’t want any shit. I’m not pussing out, but there was enough of those pictures. It is me, though—ever since I was a little kid I’ve never been able to take a straight picture.

You’re just a born snarler.

Yeah, that’s how that comes about. Stephen got to answer this in another interview: what do you like and dislike about the other Ratts?

Let’s start with Juan. Juan is chronically late. Yes, the guy will be late to his own funeral, I swear. I been playing in groups with Juan for eight years, and it’s been an ongoing thing. That’s what I don’t like. What I do like is; he’s an incredible musician, a great bass player, and he sings great. But he can get on your nerves totally; on the road he’s the butt end of the jokes. We’ve got a docking system now, where you get a 10-minute grace period and after it’s two bucks a minute. He’s been showing up 150 bucks late. It’s hard not to make jokes.

Lemme see, what I do like about Warren is...he’s a great guitar player, he’s writing real good stuff and he’s always on time. What I don’t like about him is...is that I don’t know what I don’t like about him. Crosby? Oh shit, I should have been prepared for a question like this...

We can come back to it. What about your childhood?

When I was seven years old, I got a drum set with paper heads. I had to plead with my parents to get it. I immediatly wrote “the Beatles” on the front head, took it outside and walked around my neighborhood in Pittsburgh stopping at each of my friends’ houses to do a little solo in front of the door. By the end of the day every drum head on there was ripped and I was crying. I still have that set, and I’m taking it on tour this year...that’s what I’m going to be using.

What’s for breakfast?

“I got these new tight...oh, what H O are they called? / Stephen got them for & me...these pants, ' they look like long underwear.”

Scrambled eggs, with cheese and onions, and tortillas and hot sauce and milk and vitamins.

Do you want to start any rumors about yourself?

Yeah, I’m a nice guy, believe it or not. All Ratt fans who have met Ratt know that to be true. I answer all my letters that we get in the office, I make phone calls...that’s important to me. Getting back to the good and bad things about the band, that’s one thing I respect; the fans are really important. Ten years down the road they might be different, like when Juan’s house has those same 15 kids out there with candles. But they play a big part in everybody’s life, and everybody answers their letters...well, pretty much. Warren’s got about a box-and-a-half of stuff he hasn’t gotten to yet, but he gets a lot of stuff.

What about the rest of the good and bad?

With Stephen, the bad thing is that the boy’s always getting sick with something. The good thing is he’s singing better than ever. The good thing about Robbin is...he knows how to mediate in the band when things get hot. Bad? He’s an incurable insomniac, and he’ll drive you crazy on the tour bus pacing back and forth.

What would you call your autobiography?

Years Of Our Blot.

Now you can talk about the new album.

Invasion Of Your Privacy! It’s rockin’ harder than just about anything we’ve done, it’s the best production we’ve had, and I feel better about this than any other album we’ve done...even though we’ve only done two. I wish “Round And Round” was on this one.

It’s funny, because everyone expected Ratt to come out and be all pop and shit, including the critics. I almost did as well, because the way we did this album was crazy. We ended last year’s tour in Hawaii; we were writing the songs on Maui. We came back here and rehearsed for 10 days without vocals...just getting the arrangements down, we had no idea what the melodies were. Stephen would come down, record the set and go home and write lyrics. Then we were in the studio...I did half the album with just myself playing, which was kinda strange. So I wasn’t sure if it was going to be poppy. It turned out to be heavier than anything we’ve done.

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Getting tired of the Aerosmith comparisons?

I can honestly s^y this: on the new record I can hear hints of ’smith. On the other records I can’t—other than us doing “Walkin’ The Dog.” I can’t, and I would know. It doesn’t bug me because they’re a great band...and we’re Raff, man, and we didn’t sell three million records by trying to do somebody’s gig. But I think of it as a compliment. Anything else for posterity?

Yeah, we love everybody, and we appreciate them letting us come in and make the noise for their party.

(Alas and alack, the tape ends here. Bobby’s last message can be summed up in a few words: the Stephen’s-got-a-salamiin-his-shorts stories are BOLOGNA. You read it in CREEM first...and don’t you forget it.)

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