KISS & TELL

KISS & TELL

DEPARTMENTS

by

Jaan Uhelszki

Sweet Sole Music: I know you�ve already heard the one about U2 bringing budding young guitarists on stage to solo on �Knocking On Heaven�s Door,� but have you heard about what a particular audience in San Francisco did to show their approval to the celebrated Celts? The faithful at SF�s Cow Palace showered the stage with shoes. Yes, shoes, like these-boots-are-made-forwalking, shoes. I never could figure out if they brought spares, or these were the very loafers off their feet—but if you think that�s bizarre, the reason behind this ritual is even stranger. When I cornered one zealot, he revealed they did it as a tribute to the band—�You know, U2, You Shoes.� I don�t get it...What I did get, or more like what Amnesty International got, was a big check from U2—who really know how to put their money where their mouths are. They donated the entire proceeds from their sold-out Radio City shows in New York to the organization. Amnesty is a movement that is working for an end to the torture and the executions of political prisoners throughout the world...Meat Me In St. Louis: The Smiths also received an odd tribute from their fans this month. Morrissey, the band�s highstrung lead singer, was hit in the face by a pound of sausages, each inscribed Meat Is Murder at a recent live performance. No one has assumed responsibility for the act, but I�m betting on a disconcerted U2 fan—although Chris Holmes, the guitarist from W.A.S.P. was knocked unconscious by a standing rib roast that a fan tossed at him. Could this be a new trend? Bring Your Own Butcher. Fab Five Freak Out: I wouldn�t just come right out and say that Duran Duran is calling it a day, but, those close to the source keep pointing out that John Taylor has certainly been bingeing and bending quite a bit lately, apparently to drown his discontent at the impending reunion with the Duranies. I mean, how can you expect the guy to get back to the make-up mirror after finally getting some respect with his Power Station project? Despite the strong denials, Power Station is touring after all. In case you were wondering, Simon Le Bon and Nick Rhodes haven�t been sitting around perfecting their pouts all this time. In fact, there seems to be a distinct split in the factions as Le Bon and Rhodes have been logging some hard hours in a studio in Paris with such diverse talents as former Roxy saxophonist Andy MacKay and David Van Tieghem on skins. So far they haven�t announced a release date, but the tentative title is Un-Taylored. Have you considered calling it Duran, guys? Wedding Bell (Black and) Blues: Despite all that nonsense about Tony lommi sending Lita Ford to the hospital (and it wasn�t just to fill a prescription), the couple have decided to make it legal, and will marry later this year...Paris When It Sizzles: Not to be left out, Greg Kihn and his longtime girlfriend, Debbie Echard, will also tie the knot, only they�ll be doing the tying under the Eiffel Tower. Yes, that tower, in Paris...House Calls: David Bowie and his former wife Angela finally broke their long silence in a big way. The couple had a very public row over Angie�s current living conditions. It seems the former Diamond Dog doesn�t think Angela�s new flat in London is good enough for their son Zowie (currently known as Joey, he doesn�t �go� for all that �70s-glam stuff), and David wants her to move to posher digs. Well, you can imagine what Angie-baby thought of that. One of her �nicer� thoughts was once the Thin White Dick got his foot out of mouth, he could how-you-say, foot the bill...Rolling Stone Still Gathers No Moss: You�d think they�d learned their lesson, but just as Mick dagger has pen poised to return his one million dollar advance he received for his autobiography, British publisher Jonathon Cape offered Keith Richards $3.3 mil—that�s $300,000 more than Jagger was promised—to pen his life story... Maybe that�s why Nick Rhodes was paying for dinner, when Mick joined Rhodes and his wife Cynthia at a posh Paris beanery last month—no, they hadn�t just come from Greg Kihn�s wedding...Wham Bam, No Thank You, Ma�am: Andrew Ridgeiy is always insisting that he�s really very heavy (I know, and obviously not George Michael�s brother) but we hadn�t any reason to believe him until he trounced one of Whami�s back-up singers, Shirley Holliman, last week. During one of the stage antics during �Wake Me Up Before You Go Go,� Ridgeiy slung that swivel hip a little too hard, and Holliman went through the air, suffering a mild concussion as a result...Death Wish: The Lords Of The New Church almost had to give Stiv Bator the last rites. As you know, the band ends their set with a gloomy tune titled �Necktie� which is highlighted by Stiv wrapping his microphone cord around his neck to simulate a hanging. Only this time it was no simulation. The trouble was, nobody seemed to notice. He stopped singing, and the band just kept on playing. That was until his roadie noticed that he had wet his pants. Bators had slipped off the stage and literally hanged himself. He was out cold and blue in the face when they got him down. The manager of the club threw cold water on his face, pounded on his chest, and lucky for the guy, Stiv came around before he had to give him mouth-to-mouth...On the Road Again: Sammy Hagar has found something to do in the off season, when he�s not touring that is. He�s decided to use his 13 years� experience on the road to start his own travel agency in Mill Valley called Steady State Travel. According to Hagar: �Rock tours never get the attention they need. Most agencies just punch them into the computer and that�s it. If a band gets kicked out of their hotel room at four in the morning in Pocatello, Idaho, we�ll be there.� What�ll you do, Sammy, punch out the room clerk instead of the computer?...As a matter of fact, if I don�t stop now, this computer will punch me, so remember, if you have to Kiss & Tell, Kiss & Tell me.