I’m reasonably sure that almost all of you out there reading this have, on at least one occasion, heard the old axiom which states that the only certain things in life are death and taxes. Here in the middle of 1985, however, we feel compelled to add one more item to that short list of life’s unavoidables—namely, exposure to the USA For Africa extravaganza, “We Are The World.” Of course we all are agreed that it was a great thing for everyone to do, and we all hope that they are able to raise simply oodles and oodles of money to help stem the tide of hunger, starvation, and suffering not only in Ethiopia, but right here in our own supposedly plentiful backyards as well.

We recently watched the hourlong special commemorating the making of “We Are The World” and we here at Video Video would like to do our part, however small that may be. We know it isn’t much, but, as Paul Simon says, “To not do anything is to be just a witness to history. If you can, you must participate.” And so, we hereby offer, free of charge, our Viewer’s Guide List Of Helpful Tips Towards A Better Enjoyment of We Are The World: The Story Behind The Song.

1) When the video starts and the first words you hear are “Hello, I’m Jane Fonda,” don’t think you’ve bought the wrong video. Everybody knows that all giantselling video cassettes begin with those very words.

2) Although, from the looks of things, it is unclear just who besides Miss Fonda “was fortunate enough to be onhand along with the singers and musicians” during the recording session, hang on. You can unmistakably spot Emmanuel Lewis [Loveable “Webster”—Ed.] later on.

3) When you find out that a rough mix tape was sent to each of the prospective singers several days before the actual January 28 recording date, you finally realize that Prince’s copy must have got lost in the mail and that’s why he didn’t show up.

4)The guy with the British accent, identified as “the inspiration” for this record is Bob Geldof of the Boomtown Rats, responsible for organizing the original Ethiopian relief celebrity benefit record, last winter’s Band-Aid song, “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” The fact that the Band-Aid record—and video for that matter—is neither refered to nor acknowledged throughout this entire hour explains why some people regard USA For Africa as simply a musical extension of the Los Angles Summer Olympics.

5)The guy standing right next to Bob Dylan during the chorus singing is Smokey Robinson. He sings better than at least 15 of the 21 soloists used on this record. Surely Bruce Springsteen would have been only too happy to turn over one itty bitty “we are the children” to him had he been asked, but he wasn’t. Which brings us to:

6) You may want to take a stopwatch to this thing and see exactly how much solo space is devoted to artists who just happen to be associated with CBS, the company that released this record.

7) You have not lived until you’ve seen Quincy Jones and Stevie Wonder both trying to remind Bob Dylan how to sing like Bob Dylan.

8) Yes, Lionel Richie actually does say that “Bob Dylan made his name and fortune on public awareness,” which reminds us that, songwriting notwithstanding, Lionel Richie seems nothing more—and nothing less—than the Tony Orlando of the ’80s.

9) Rumors that part of the proceeds here are being used to hire Bruce Springsteen a lip-synch teacher are totally unfounded.

10)Ray Charles’s small segment recording his vocal solo is absolutely the most exciting—and most inspiring—thing in this whole hour.

Like David Letterman says, we hope that we’ve learned something along the way here. Yes, we’re tired. But it’s a good kind of tired. Good night, take care, and video home safely.

SNAP SHOTS

Pony Tails Of The World, Unite! Tears For Fears, “Everybody Wants To Rule The World”— Winner of this year’s coveted James Young/Geddy Lee bad haircut coverup award. Leave it to furreigners to think that a “scenic” tour of the Mojave Desert highlighted by a dance in front of abandoned gas pumps by authentic American Black persons is “art”...’Fess Up, You’re Really The Fifth Gibb Brother, Right? Wham!, “Everything She Wants” —The, urn, hook to this video is that, for the first time, you actually get to see Wham-0 number two, Andy Ridgeley, for a few seconds. Somewhere, Mickey Finn lies smiling...How Many David Lee Roth Lookalikes Can Dance On The Head Of a Pin? Giuffria, “Lonely In Love”—They bad, they peroxide-wide...Wretch, Wretch, Keep It Down Now, Viewers Nauseous: Til Tuesday, “Voices Carry”—Yet another fine example of a decent song being sabotaged by a pretentiously bad video. The only way this thing would work would be if Aimee’s disgusting boyfriend was instead her disgusting father. Think about it...For This He Punched His Hand Through A Wall? Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers. “Don’t Come Around Here No More”— Between the growing pig-snouted baby and the Alice in Wonderland girl being turned into one heck of an un-birthday cake, we’ve finally found the video to take the ’85 gross-out lead away from Billy Ocean’s “Loverboy.”... A Reason To Go On Living! Los Lobos, “How Will The Wolf Survive?”— A great song, a band made up entirely of actual humans, and a nonself-serving plot? What’s this world coming to?

AND

TODAY’S

HISTORY

LESSON...

READY, STEADY, GO! VOL. II (EMI/Thorn Video)

by Bill Holdship

Don’t wanna sound like an Anglophile, but it strikes me as odd that the British have always seemed to have more reverence for rock ’n’ roll’s past than most of the powers-that-be in America (remember when MC5 and Stooges LPs were only available as British imports?). Dave Clark (former leader/drummer of the Dave Clark Five) deserves commendation for gaining the rights to Ready, Steady Go!—a ’60s British TV dance show which featured most of the superstars of that era—and releasing segments from the show in video form. It works fine as both nostalgia and history. Volume II doesn’t fare as well as the first release did, which makes you wonder if Clark blew most of his wad the first time around— although the video does end with the promise of a volume three, so maybe there’s still lots of good stuff in the can. Nonetheless, there are still enough highlights here to make the tape worthwhile for fans of this kind of rock.

Speaking of Anglophiles, it’s interesting to note that most of the strong performances here are by American artists. Of course, the Beatles come off as charming as ever during an interview with “guest host” Dusty Springfield— and during performances of “Twist & Shout” and “She Loves You”— while the Who turn in an exciting “Shout & Shimmy” (a variation on the Isley’s “Shout”). But the show is virtually stolen by the Beach Boys, who perform “I Get Around” and “When I Grow Up.” It’s especially fascinating to see Brian Wilson wince when host Keith Fordyce asks if Dennis Wilson’s name is “Ringo.” The segment reminds you of what a truly great, vibrant band the Beach Boys once were (and what a shame it is they let themselves self-destruct the way they did)—and makes me anxiously await the forthcoming Malcolm Leo Beach Boys documentary video which should be in stores by the time you read this.

Marvin Gaye is fabulous vamping his way through “Can I Get A Witness” in the same white tuxedo getup he wore in The TAM I Show; Martha & The Vandellas provide another Motown connection with a great “Dancing In The Streets”; the Isley Brothers cover “Stagger Lee” (fans of Greil Marcus’s Mystery Train, take note!); Gene Pitney sobs a moody “I’m Gonna Be Strong,” and Jerry Lee Lewis is his old arrogant, cocky self on “Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On.” Especially interesting is Rufus Thomas performing “Walking The Dog.” After hearing everyone from the Stones to your local garage band cover this song over the years, it’s real neat seeing the original in classic form. It should be mentioned that while most of the songs on Ready, Stead, Go!

were lip-synched, the majority were synched to “live” tracks recorded exclusively for the show.

On the down side are Freddie & The Dreamers performing a terrible Paul Anka song called “I Love You, Baby” (Freddie looks incredibly daffy—like an uncool Buddy Holly—though I would’ve settled for “I’m Telling You Now” or even “Do The Freddie”); the Fourmost (who?) performing a soulless version of the Four Tops’ “Baby, I Need Your Lovin’”; Dusty Springfield doing a poor lip-synch on “Losing You”; Paul McCartney acting as judge for four female contestants lip-synching Brenda Lee’s ‘‘Let’s Jump The Broomstick” (interesting only for teenage “sociological” content); P.J. Proby acting as “amateur deejay of the week,” and playing his ‘‘Hold Me” (which the Rubinoos later covered much better), and the Rolling Stones (with Andrew Loog Oldham) doing a silly

lip-synch to Sonny & Cher’s “I Got You, Babe” (which, again, may be interesting for “sociological” value, but doesn’t merit repeated viewings). Considering that the Stones performed dynamic versions of “Under My Thumb” and “Paint It Black” in the first volume of Ready, Steady, Go! (not to mention classic clips of the [then] justformed Animals, Van Morrison with Them, the Searchers, etc.), it’s easy to see why Volume II is a weaker program.

Finally, there are two clips of the Dave Clark Five performing “Bits & Pieces” and “Can’t You See That She’s Mine.” The DC5 frequently sounded incredible on vinyl, but they look downright comical and unreal in both this segment and the one on the first volume. Since the band never actually appeared on Ready, Steady, Go!, the clips come from elsewhere—and it often seems like Dave Clark is getting his revenge on the show for snubbing his band the first time around by featuring them so prominently on both tapes. Still, Clark is the guy who refused to allow Glad sandwich bags to use his “Glad All Over” for mucho bucks, so the man does have some integrity.

Like The TAMI Show, the Ready, Steady, Go! series is fascinating in its portrayal of the variety of music that was considered rock ’n’ roll (and teenage culture) during rock’s earlier eras. Hopefully, some enterprising producer will eventually get it together and release videos of Shindig, Hullabaloo, the rock acts featured on Ed Sullivan over the years, and other American equivalents of Ready, Steady, Go! Because, even with the flaws, this is the kind of stuff that a lot of us could sit and watch all night long.