CANT DANCE AND IT'S TOO WET TO PLOW
Heavy metal vocalists don't get much respect. Many listeners think these singers are so many in-terchangeable faucet parts, and band-hopping hooters like Ian Gillan and Ronny James Dio only reinforce that concept. Simply referring to someone like Ozzy Osbourne as a singer is usually treated with the same sort of disbelief as Radio New Zealand's accounts of the entire city of Auckland being buried under a massive deluge of threepacks of men's cotton briefs.
CANT DANCE AND IT'S TOO WET TO PLOW
Rick Johnson
Heavy metal vocalists don't get much respect. Many listeners think these singers are so many in-terchangeable faucet parts, and band-hopping hooters like Ian Gillan and Ronny James Dio only reinforce that concept.
Simply referring to someone like Ozzy Osbourne as a singer is usually treated with the same sort of disbelief as Radio New Zealand's accounts of the entire city of Auckland being buried under a massive deluge of threepacks of men's cotton briefs. Sexist poops, they'll oc-casionally accept a female as a "vocalist," but we're gonna tackle the women at a later date with a stronger team.
Obviously, it's time to educate these doubt-ing spores. I mean. I think the guys can sing. It's like Frank Zappa said a long time ago-even if all you're doing is kicking three dif-ferent garbage cans, you're creating a melody.
Faucets, garbage and elastic waist-bands-are you starting to get the picture? It's time to address all this nonsense about metal singers definitively. But first, a word from our sponsor.
THE HUMAN VOICE: NOW RUBBLE?