A LITTLE STRAIGHT TALK

A LITTLE STRAIGHT TALK

VIDEO VIDEO

Billy Altman

You’ll have to forgive us here at Video Video if we start this month’s report from the cathode trenches on a somewhat serious note. But please believe us when we say that we are just as astounded as you probably are to see us announce that we have seen a music video recently which appears to have been created with the idea of making those who come into contact with it not only watch, but perhaps think and feel as well. And, as totally unfashionable (and I mean, like, totally, OK?) as that notion may be, the plain fact that this video does exist and is being aired—however infrequently—is, in these lean-spirited times, enough grounds for at least this particular observer of the world’s newest wayward medium to feel a real (albeit faint) glimmer of hope that there may indeed someday be more to rock videos than merely creative lip synching, creative tenthousand-cuts-per-square-foot editing, and/or creative angle shots of chicks in their underwear.

The source of our meager optimism is a video called “Smalltown Boy” which comes to us via a British trio known as Bronski Beat. “Smalltown Boy” tells the story of a youth from a seemingly average middle class suburban household who finds himself on the wrong team in the only game in town. He is, we learn, a homosexual, and, when he attempts to convey his emotions to a straight classmate that he is drawn to, all he gets for his troubles is a severe beating from that very guy and about 10 of his pals, resulting in a police escort home to a set of shocked, shamed parents. With the truth now out in the open, the boy decides to try and break away and be free, and so, at the video’s conclusion, he and a few fellow outsiders board an inbound train in order to seek refuge in the tolerant and anonymous atmosphere of the big city.

It is essential to point out that the importance of “Smalltown Boy” does not rest simply with the fact that the members of Bronski Beat are indeed gay. After all, at this stage of the androgynous ‘80s, with the kissing-to-fill-coffers that Boy George fills on one side and the flamings from hell, Frankie Goes To Hollywood on the other, the particulars of sexual preference are neither new nor noteworthy. What is noteworthy— and important—about “Smalltown

Boy” is that it is a video which forces you to feel the pain, hurt and loneliness that’s being acted out on the screen, to share the sadness of someone trying to cope the complexities of his life. And, the last time we looked, you didn’t have to be gay to have those kinds of feelings smacking you in the gut every now and then. Then again, prejudice and hatred are also certainly things that surround us every day of our lives; so if “Smalltown Boy” makes one solitary person— aged 15 or 51—stop and think about their perceptions of those who seem “different” than they are, then it will have moved, in the rock video world anyway, one of those proverbial mountains.

Well, now that we’ve met our critical imperative quota for the month, let’s get off the soap box and down to admittedly more mundane but certainly no less thrilling matters. Like, have you seen that Campbell’s Chunky Soup “Soul Man” commercial? At first it seems like an outtake from that scene in Risky Business (no, not the train, jocko—that’s the Survivor video) where the guy’s doin’ the Seger song in his underwear, but instead it’s a fully clothed good old American teenager bouncing off the walls of mom’s kitchen, just fixin’ himself some lunch to the tune of Sam and Dave’s late ’60s Stax classic. Soup can as microphone? Broomstick as air guitar? Microwave cooking instructions punched in to coincide with Steve Cropper’s guitar riff on the chorus? Too much. Topped only by the tag line (only words spoken during the entire 60 seconds): “Hey Ziggy, Campbell’s Chunky Soup! The soup that eats like a meal! Go ask yo’ mama!”

Hot on Chunky Soup’s heels, though, microwave or not, is the in-

credible Hershey’s Trail Mix chocolate granola bar spot. Done as a visual homage to all those “crazy novelty” “The Flying Saucer”/“Watergate” records from the past, this piece features little kids lip synching snippets from the likes of the Animals’ “Boom Boom,” Chuck Berry’s “Roll Over Beethoven,” Johnny Cymbal’s “Mr. Bassman,” even Gene Chandler’s “Duke of Earl”—and the best part of it is that none of these songs have anything to do with anything as far as granola bars go! Then again, I sure did remember it, now didn’t I? You know what they say, of course — commercials are better than ever.

SNAP SHOTS Lip Service Is All You’ll Ever Get From Me: Mick Jagger, “Just Another Night”—You know that times have really changed when the most interesting thing you can think of to say about this mishmash is that the female lead here happens to be the daughter of Tommy Chong (from Cheech & Chong). By the way Mick, who actually stole that coat from Prince’s dressing room when he wasn’t looking?...Lenore Goldberg And Her Female Commandos Live!: Pointer Sisters, “The Neutron Dance”—If Tina Turner’s giant success recently means more leg for better living, count me in... I Moult, Therefore I Am: Stranglers, “Skin Deep”— Funny how they and the Boomtown Rats are the only new wave bands heavily drawn to snakes... Ask Not For Whom The Brontosaurus Stomps—Just Get Outta The Way: The Firm, “Radioactive”—Do you realize that, at this point, asking whether Jimmy Page stared down his guitar neck at a hand-held camera before Eddie Van Halen did it is somewhat like asking which came first, the chicken or the egg? ...No, But I Sure Know What Hate Is: Foreigner, "I Want To Know What Love Is”—I mean, at least Chicago went on diets and got haircuts, y’know? Gimme a break ...Not Only Do I Make Awful Movies, But I Can Video Just As Bad As I Want To: Barbra Streisand, “Emotion”—what does this woman want from us, anyway? She’s about as relevant to rock as Carly Simon. (Oops, I think I just answered my own question.)