MEDIA COOL

MEDIA COOL

This Month’s Media Cool was written by Richard Riegel, Dave DiMartino, J. Kordosh and John Mendelssohn.

MAX MAVEN’S MIND GAMES (MCA Home Video)

Laff Riot time! Through Max’s incredible telepathic power, once you stick this tape in your VCR...he can guess what you think! Make you choose numbers against your will! Do all sorts of things that actually can be done, thanks to the inclusion of string, blank index cards, pencils and material. Neatest part is a)the “tricks” are all based on mathematical principles, i.e., you can’t help but choose certain numbers even though you think you’ve got an actual choice, b)it isn’t as dopey as it looks, and c)Max actually tells you to put your finger on your TV screen! Coming up next: interactive porn! D.D.

STAR MAN (Columbia Pictures) Imagine E.T. with a muscular, uh, hunk instead of a huge-eyed, longnecked little eyesore, a lithe young widow instead of little Elliott, and, uh, adult situations. Don’t touch the mawkishness and the adorable-innocent-learning-ourways cuteness. You’ve just imagined John Carpenter’s Starman. Preposterous in spades—the hunky alien can raise the dead, impregnate hopelessly infertile women, walk unperturbed through gas tanker explosions, and get from outer space to Wisconsin on his own, but has to depend on the kindness of human strangers to get from Wisconsin to Arizona— its first hour plays like a bloated Conehead sketch without the cones. Karen Allen and Jeff Bridges remain attractively earnest throughout, though, and there are moments when you can almost imagine caring about them. The scene in which our alien hero does the best Sinatra ever after hearing four bars of “New York, New York” on a radio nearly justifies the price of admission. J.M.

IN SEARCH OF THE FAR SIDE by Gary Larson (Andrews, McMeel & Parker) This third collection of the daily panel includes more of Larson’s neo-Elsian conversational cows and his aggressive hipster squirrels, those fellow-creature confronters-of-the-absurd who inevitably fire me up for one more day’s struggle with the existential hoo-hah. Larson’s tone, both in his drawings and in his words, almost always grabs that perfect blend of warmth and ridicule us satirists live for. R.R.

HE-MAN & THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE (Syndicated)

He-Man is a tremendously interesting show for eight reasons. One, it’s a cartoon about He-Man, the mightiest man in the Universe! The whole thing!! Two, he lives on the planet Eternia, which is probably real far from here. Three, his secret identity is Prince Adam— who looks exactly like He-Man!! Four, he has neat friends like Ram Man, Man-At-Arms, Man-E-Faces and other Man-type people. Five, his mission is to protect Castle Grayskull—which holds “the secrets of the Universe(!)”—from the evil Skeletor and his henchmen, who are truly evil and despicable and no match for the mighty He-Man when the chips are down. Six, he communicates telepathically with The Sorceress, an enchanting woman who can turn into a bird and gets to live in Castle Grayskull! Seven, he always tells you the moral of his adventure at the end of each show and it’s usually stuff like you shouldn’t hit people. And you shouldn’t! Eight, he makes a great toy, as do his friends and enemies. Oh, yeah, one more thing: when Prince Adam turns into He-Man, he actually says: “I Have The Power!” Every time!! He’s the greatest guy ever!! J.K.

GOBOTS (Tonka Toys)

GoBots are natives of the planet GoBotron, which is not only not unusual, it’s downright logical. They’re also robots, which is interesting, but not incredibly freaky. The catch is, of course, that GoBots can change their physical image! Masters of disguise! Yes, unbelievable as it seems, GoBots can transform themselves into all manner of vehicles just like that! Plus, they’re all earth-type vehicles, like Trans-Ams! It’s a great way to trick their many foes, admit it. We couldn’t want for a finer bunch of Galactic neighbors. Granted that GoBots are neat guys in reality, we must wonder how they stack up as toys. The main problem is that GoBots appeal to real little kids who are physically incapable of manipulating the coolbut-dexterity-stretching changes from semis into super-powerful robots. Which means that their real enemy isn’t Cy-Kill (“Enemy Robot Leader”) but dad himself! Yes, just as the old man’s put on the decals, figured out the GoBots weirdo visage and settled in for a comfortable, humdrum AFC Western Conference game, the kid returns—unable to turn seeminglyharmless hubcaps into deathdealing reflectors. Talk about

ominous confrontations. What it means, to be blunt, is that GoBots are lousy toys. They come with all sorts of teensy pieces that are easy—in fact, almost mandatory—to lose. They break when you try to move their parts the wrong (i.e., the logical) way. What with all their moving parts, their arms ’n’ stuff are always slipping, which makes them easy prey for enemy robots. The vote here is for Super Friends. J.K.

WILL A LOVING GOD REALLY CAST PEOPLE INTO HELL?

(Believers’ Evangelistic Association)

One of my fave tracts, this one asks all the biggies: Does God want people to spend eternity in hell? Is there a real hell to be saved from? If so, why does it exist? What about people...will they go there too? Incredibly, all these questions are answered in full detail—a big load off my mind, and I’m sure you’d like to find out too! With its massive, severalparagraph documentation, WALGRCPIH stands as one of most well-researched, thoughtprovoking and all-around entertaining reads of the millennium. Despite it’s depressing conclusion (“most people are on their way to hell”), this is one little leaflet you’re not gonna want to go without. Get it from Box 92, Sherman, TX 75090. Tell ’em we sent youlD.D.

MICKI AND MAUDE (Columbia Pictures)

When the wife of television “journalist” Dudley Moore seems to resolve to pursue a political career rather than bear him babies, he falls in love with, proposes to, and impregnates a sweet young cellist—only to discover that he’s gotten his missus pregnant too. You might suppose that, under the dreaded Blake Edwards’s direction, such a situtaion would quickly come to resemble a slightly less shrill, greatly elongated episode of I Love Lucy. And you’d be right. And yet, infinitely implausible (what a coincidence that both women consult the same obstetrician!) and painfully contrived (the cellist’s dad’s a pro wrestler—all the better to worry the bigamous Dud), though it may be, Micki and Maude nonetheless features enormously appealing performances by Amy Irving and the eerily Barbara Feldonish, irresistibly energetic Ann Reinking in the title roles. J.M.