KISS & TELL

KISS & TELL

Jaan Uhelszki

Boy Crazy: You know, it looked as if Boy George had won his recent battle of the bulge when after weeks of strenuous dieting, the Boy whittled himself back down to a svelte size 10—dress size that is. But if his recent behavior at Manhattan’s Tony Cafe Luxembourg is any indication, it looks as if our Boy has again fallen off the wagon. After the imperious waiter had made the rounds of the table, he then asked George for his order. “I’ll have a hamburger and tortellini,” the Boy replied. The waiter gave him quite a look, and said, “And, sir?” Our guy, never the wimp, snapped, “Yes, it’s true I’m fat!” He may be fat, but he sure is rich. As if record royalties weren’t enough, B.G. just inked a deal for the first Boy George doll to go into production. It’ll certainly help to pay off the mortgage on the half-million dollar hacienda he purchased in London. The house reportedly looks like a movie set for a haunted castle, complete with towers— considering it used to belong to the late comedian, Marty (Young Frankenstein) Feldman, I’m not surprised...Open Marriage: That former Yardley girl, and itinerant heartbreaker, Patti Boyd has done it again. Do you remember when Patti left her then hubby, George Harrison, for the love of Eric Clapton (after he so thoughtfully penned “Layla” after her) and, married the guitar maestro? Now, after five years of togetherness, she’s slipped her leash again, and is cozying up to Vogue photographer, Willie Christie—but get this—with Eric’s approval. Funny folk, these English...She Was Afraid To Come Out Of The Water: Missing Person Dale Bozzio has done it again. No she didn’t put her Maud Frizon spike heels in her lovely mouth, again, but instead she put someone’s bathing suit on without asking. Gregory Poe, a former student at the California Institute Of Arts fashioned a new age creation out of plastic and crushed rock, way back in 1978—calling it Aqua Tint #5. Number 5 is a bikini-like concoction, consisting of two layers of clear vinyl filled with colored pebbles, that can be tied to a human body with plastic straps if it is so desired. And this is just what the daring blonde exhibitionist did. As you know, Dale is known for her bizarre peek-a-boo ensembles, so it’s no surprise that she took a shine to the Aqua Tint. Where she got it is anybody’s guess, but that she wore it is a matter of public record since she was photographed in said suit. Poe got quite an eyeful, and immediately stormed off to his attorney’s office and filed a copyright infringement suit against Bozzio, insisting that AQ5 was artwork, not clothing. So far the U.S. District Judge, Laughlin E. Waters of Los Angeles ruled against the angry artist saying the item was a swimsuit and not art (with a name like Waters, he would\), but Poe took the case to the U.S. Court Of Appeals. So far there isn’t a decision because, in their words: “We are unable to determine merely by looking at Poe’s creation whether a person wearing this object can move, walk, swim, sit, stand, or lie down without unwelcomed or intended exposure”—but everyone knows that nobody walks in L.A. no matter what they’re wearing, so who cares...The Joke Goes On Forever: Those Taylor boys from Duran Duran really know how to beat a dead horse. They have just hired a new attorney, by the name of (you guessed it) Robert Taylor. As if you had to ask, no he isn’t related either. Another unrelated Taylor— you know^the one who goes by the name of John— revealed to Kiss ’n’ Tell that he single-handedly managed to snare the title song for the next James Bond movie, A View To Kill...Heavy Metal Cover Up: Lita Ford recently confessed to those hardcore cynics at , Kerrang that she’s very into fashion, and that she would love to grace the cover of Vogue, Cosmopolitan, or Bizarre. I’d say she’d have a hard time even getting her mug on Car And Driver— but here’s hoping...The Road Goes On Forever: Journey hasn’t broken up, as previously rumored, but it looks as if their personal life is in collective shambles. Steve Perry has called it a day with his longtime girlfriend—and to think he just wrote that romantic ode “Oh Sherry” to her (Well, as we saw a lot of good “Layla” did for Eric). Mrs. Jonathan Cain—the voluptuous Tane Cain—has decided to cash in Mr. Cain for a one-way ticket to L.A., where she plans to give her a career a “last big shot” instead of keeping the home-fires burning for her guy. The problem was, she wasn’t keeping all the coals in his fireplace, if you know what I mean—and this for a man who wrote “Faithfully” for her. See, it just doesn’t pay to dedicate songs to your girl...The Wizard Of Oz: Ozzy Osbourne is up to his old highspirited-hijinks again. Things were getting a little slow on the French tour. The Oz had to find something to keep him amused, so he waited until his publicist Roland Hyams had fallen asleep, and he proceeded to shave off Hyams’s eyebrows. What I don’t get is how Hyams managed to sleep through the deed. Oh, I get it—all Osbourne’s employees are heavy sleepers in the interest of job security...Bob, Ted, Carol and Alice: Annie Lennox and Dave Stewart and his latest blonde Leslie Ash, and Tom Petty were recently spotted holidaying together in southern Spain...Home On The Range: Do you remember last year when Annie told us that: “I will have a home of my own, but not until we’ve stopped doing what we’re doing now. And yes, maybe a family too. Who knows?” Well, Lennox and spouse have recently purchased a homestead in Switzerland near a Krishna farm community and temple. Now what about that bambino?...Fringe Benefits: That Adam Ant’s certainly a thoughtful guy. On one of his trips from the U.S. to Europe he made sure nobody got bored on the flight across the Atlantic— he bought everybody in his band a Walkman II, so they could while away the hours, according to the Ant’s sax player, Steve Farr. Just so he didn’t buy the pilot one...Well if you find yourself with any spare Walkman Il’s, or if you have to Kiss ’n’ Tell, just remember to Kiss ’n’ Tell me. ^